Weddingbee Blog

Otherwise titled: “Why did I have to fall in love with someone from a different country!?”

“All you need is love” goes the song, but for some of us it is more like “all you need is love plus a passport with the proper stamp that makes it legal for you to live happily ever after in the same country as your spouse.” Phew. Not as melodious as the first. This post is for all you couples who not only have to deal with the stress of wedding planning, but also have to deal with the stress of immigration and visa issues before (and often after) you get married. I know there are quite a few of you out there who have experienced these issues, whether it involves your own immigration status or your other half’s, including even our own Mrs. D’orsay, Mrs. Poodle, and Miss Glasses (I’m sure their are more but I can’t think of them off the top of my head).

Mr E and I have wrangled with visa processes for practically our entire lives because our families moved to Indonesia from our respective “home” or “passport” countries when we were both very young.

Ever couple of years we would have to go through the whole stressful visa process again: our parents would be up late at night filing paperwork, anxious weeks would be spent waiting to hear that everything went through okay, and then the moment of pure magical relief would come when we would find out that we were all clear to stay another year in Indonesia (only…Mr E’s family lost their visas and were sent back to the States right before his senior year but that is another story). It was like living in limbo my whole life, and as much as I loved growing up overseas, one of the real downsides to it all was that horrible visa business.

That part of my life was over, so I thought, when I moved back to NZ for university. But (duh!) of course it wasn’t, seeing as Mr E is a US citizen. One of the reasons we have decided to live in NZ for our first two years of marriage (other than study reasons) is that we figured out it would be easier for Mr E to be granted a student visa to NZ (and eventually residency) than for me to have to go that frightful process of getting the fiancee visa for the States (for all of you going through that now—I feel for you!).

Not that the NZ visa business has been easy at all. Last year Mr E received his paperwork to come to NZ just two days before he was due to leave. Needless to say, I was a quivering nervous mess by that time. And now we have come to that time of year when Mr E needs to have his visa extended for next year. See, his current one expires in March 2011 and let’s just say I do NOT want to have my new husband deported just two months after marrying him! So we have the paperwork and we are working our way slowly through it but I think it never gets any less frustrating or stressful (the waiting to hear back from immigration is the WORST). Plus, we need to have his visa all in place before we go on our honeymoon because, um, he kind of needs his passport with him for that.

The good news is that after 12 months of marriage he can file for NZ residency (more paperwork!), and 6 months after that I can start trying to get my green card so we can eventually move to the States together (more and more paperwork!). Trust me, I am going to be one very happy girl when one day (eventually) we will no longer have to worry about visa stuff hanging over our heads and can just enjoy being married (that’s the dream!).

For those of you who have gone through or are going through issues like these, how have you managed the stress of it all?