- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
I’m getting married a week before my 36th birthday.
Apparently, I’m pretty old for a first-time bride. According to Wikipedia, the average age for a woman getting married for the first time in the U.S. is 25. And in most of the bridal blogs and communities I’ve seen online, the majority of the brides-to-be seem so young! Many of them just graduated college or are still matriculating…or are still living at home with their parents until the wedding. Even the ones who are established in their careers and live on their own are a good ten years younger than I am! Sometimes it’s hard to find someone to relate to.
I’d had a handful of boyfriends throughout my twenties, but I didn’t fall in love until I started dating Mr. S when I was 29. We took our time—we moved in together two years later and will have been living together for five years by the time the wedding rolls around.
I don’t regret it one bit!
OK, there were times in my twenties where I’d get depressed about being the perpetually single one, where I’d wish that I’d find the guy with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. But it wasn’t because I thought that I had to get married by a certain age; it was because I wanted to experience love and to share my life with someone.
And I didn’t even think Mr. S was that someone at first. After our first date, he was calling me his girlfriend, but I was like, “Whoa, slow down, buddy.” I was the one who’d say things like, “Why do we have to label our relationship? Can’t we just have fun?” But after a few months, I came to realize that I was really falling for this guy, slowly but powerfully, and that was that.
But here I am now, a bride-to-be who is ten years older than the average member of the bridal community.
I regret nothing. I am so glad that I had my twenties to do whatever I wanted. I lived alone. I traveled. I, to use a horribly hackneyed phrase, sowed my wild oats a bit. I answered to nobody, and while it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Were you an older bride? Did you wish that you’d gotten married sooner?
Personally, I think it’s awesome you’ve waited for the right person for you. I was less than a month shy of my 31st birthday when we were married, hubby was 35. Granted, I loved others and even thought I was going to marry one of them, but I’m so glad I waited. I wouldn’t change it for anything because I wouldn’t have been me before and I wouldn’t have loved me as much.
I am so glad I waited this long because I really know what I want and we are financially secure enough to make it happen. I will have no regrets about anything we do for the wedding.
Great post!!!
I am an older bride, too! 32 and will still be 32 when I get married, but just a few months from 33. I’ve been with my fiance for 5 years and we have been living together for over three. I don’t regret a thing and am thrilled that I didn’t get married any sooner. I was just not ready for it. In fact, I still have doubts about the whole institution of marriage, but I have no doubts about my boyfriend so… Here we go! Actually, most of my friends are either unmarried or married in their late 20s or 30s, so even though I was aware of the marriage statistics, it was still a surprise to enter the online wedding community and see all the brides who are so much younger than me.
Love happens when it happens, on God’s watch not ours.
In my twenties there were boyfriends and loves and losts’. Noe I’ve found the love of my life at age 32 and it will be just past my 35th birthday (he will be 38) when we get married.
I did see my friends get married in their mid twenties after college and start families while I wasn’t, and I did feel left out.
Now it’s my turn, and I don’t regret getting married at 35 one bit!
I’m kind of the opposite. I consider myself a pretty young bride and am still pretty shocked I’m getting married at 24 to my first boyfriend. I didn’t think that happened in real life! My godmother, on the other hand got married for the first time at 45 and was very happy that she waited for the right guy.
I got married at 28 and Mr. HW at 32. I didn’t feel older than the average bride. It was the perfect age for us. I’ve never wanted to marry anyone until I met him. We were together for 5 years with 3 of those years living together before we got married. We were able to pay for our own wedding, I’m proud of that. Certainly wouldn’t have happened in my early 20s.
I’m 33, so yeah, i guess that makes me a old bride. I would not trade it for the world.
I’ll be 27, my FI will be 3 weeks shy of his 29th bday. The only thing I regret isn’t even really a regret it’s just a re-alignment of life expectations— we’d both always pictured having kids before 30 and now I’m not sure that that will happen, especially for him. We both think we want to wait at least a year after marriage before “trying”, so that timeline on a whole vs. age is just being pushed back a little. But it’s not a bad thing.
I personally am happy for you that you waited until the time and man was right for you. Don’t feel bad for a second that you’re an “older” bride. 35/36 is definitely still young, in my eyes. Who cares if you’re above the national average– you did what was right for you! That’s what matters!
Nice post, at 31, pretty much all my close friends are married, or about to be married, or even married and working on their second kids. I do feel like as someone older, I know when I get married, it will be because I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and not just because I felt like it was time.
I’m one of the young guns. I think it just happens to be when you meet the right person, not when a certain age rolls around. I admit I was pretty shocked that Mr. SD was gunning for marriage so quickly in our relationship. But we knew that this was it and we found that perfect person to grow old with. So glad you found yours too!
I think this is one of those things that varies widely by area and social circle. I’m 28, and will be 29 marrying a guy four days shy of his 31st birthday. I feel like we’re right in the middle age-wise, for our group of friends and that the only people who got married earlier were those who were together for a very long (6+ years) time.
Personally, I’m glad to be a little older and almost surprised it happened so early. I don’t want kids and really expected to be independent and not settle down until at least my mid-thirties. Then I met someone at age 24 who made “settling down” feel fun and exciting. I remain very grateful that I had my early twenties to myself, though. For me, it was a really turbulent time in terms of personal development and figuring myself out and I would have never wanted someone else along for the ride.
I’m 32 and will turn 33 nine days after I get married. I had one long relationship in my 20s that I am relieved (in retrospect) didn’t proceed to marriage. I started dating my fiance when I was 30 and he was 32. He asked me to move in with him after less than a year together, and proposed on the second anniversary of our first date. Like you, I was the one initially putting on the brakes. Although I felt strongly about him, I had no timeline in mind, and was (happily) surprised when he proposed.
For me, the drawback of being an “older” bride, is that most of your contemporaries are married and raising kids (or sadly, divorced), so there’s little novelty or excitement surrounding your wedding. People are happy for you, for sure, but many have moved beyond love and marriage, and headed for the baby carriage, mini van and house in the suburbs already. 
I’m 33 and getting married in a couple months. I would not have changed a thing! I see people around me who got married young, either getting divorced or having problems. I did not know my self well enought in my 20’s to have gotten married. Everyone has their own path and you cannot measure yours against another.
I will be 4 days shy of my 35th when I get married next year and I am SO glad I waited! I had my 20s to be free and do what I wanted and now we can start our lives together and start a family without feeling like we still need more time to ourselves.
Like Knitting, I was shocked that I am getting married at such a young age. But I really think there is no perfect age bracket for getting married. When it happens it happens, and you are the person who knows when the time is right for you.
I do sometimes feel SUPER old… my Birthday is tomorrow & I’m turning “38″! First time bride Feb. 2011. But, this is just how long it took to find Mr. Right. Most times I still feel (and thankfully look young) so it doesn’t really bother me.
Old or young age IMO is not a good reason to get married. Like the plan to get married before 30. I’m 28 and got married a few months ago and Mr. J is 31. I didn’t realize I fell into the “older” bride category but my worst fear ever about getting married was getting married to the wrong person. I was ready to wait and become a powerful executive in the meantime.
Oh, gosh, ladies - if you are old brides, then what am I? LOL
I will be three months short of 48 when I walk down the aisle for the first time in December. I had been in several relationships from my 20s through my mid-40s, but none of them seemed quite “right.” And because I had made the decision early in life not to have children, I was in no particular rush to find the perfect guy. I enjoyed the relationships for what they were, and for as long as they lasted, and didn’t worry about whether they would be forever. Exploring new relationships was always part of the fun of being single.
And then, fresh from a difficult break-up and when I least expected it, I finally met a guy who made it easy to picture spending the rest of my life with him. It was obvious and natural from the start that we were meant to be together. Marriage was never a goal for me, but now it seems like the only path to take.
The advantages of being an older bride are many. One of the funnest has been planning the wedding my way, with no pressure or obligation to meet someone else’s expectations of what a wedding should be. It helps, also, that I can pay for it myself.
@MissSloth - thanks for the thought-provoking post. You are not alone!
Well, slap my a$$ and call me Granny!
I’ll be 45 on my wedding day. First marriage.
I had several long-term (and a few short-term) relationships. One of which I thought for sure was “the one”. It lasted 6 years, from the time I was 29-35. I had a few misses after that, too, and then I met FI when I was 38. We’ve been together ever since, and we’re getting married this June. It was worth the wait. And no, I won’t need a cane or walker to get myself down the aisle. LOL.
I guess the grass is always greener. Personally, I worry that I’m getting married too soon (even though by the time the big day rolls around I’ll be 28 and will have been with the Mr. for 6 1/2 years). I kind of wish that I’d had the date around 20s. My fiance and I started dating in college, and he’s the only person I’ve been with as an adult. We’ve taken it slow, and I don’t doubt that he’s wonderful for me, but sometimes I wonder if I’m with him because I only know my adult self with him (then I snap out of it, because he’s great, and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else).
It’s understandable to feel self conscious, particularly at a time when you’re supposed to be the center of attention, but your life experiences brought you to where you are today, and that’s a pretty great place, or at least it seems to be.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics