Weddingbee Blog

I don’t know how many people will relate to this subject, but it’s something that I’ll be revisiting over the next eight months and it is a big part of who I am. I’m talking about weight.

I wish I was as cute as this while standing on the scale with no pants on.

To spare you an entire background of why I weigh what I do, I’ll give you a few quick keywords and phrases to work with: always been solidly built; pigged out at university; lucked out in the boobal, buttal, and hippal regions; PCOS and borderline insulin resistance—joy of joys!

I fall into the plus-size category of women, and I am A-OK with sharing that with you all. Announcing that out loud several years ago would have left me completely mortified, but I’ve learned to love my body, especially now that I know that my struggles with weight loss have been compounded by dodgy ovaries and crazy hormones. That’s not to say that I’m not working on making my body as healthy as it can be, of course, but it just means that I’ve grown up enough now to not keep holding out for that magical morning where I’ll wake up and suddenly be a size six.

What I will say, though, is that I’ve got a lot of insecurities about how I’m going to look during the lead-up to and on the day of our wedding. When you pick up bridal magazines, you see tall, lean brides with glowing smiles and perfect figures. When you look at dresses, you see models without an ounce of fat on their builds. It’s refreshing to see images of REAL weddings, like those of you sassy married ladies in the hive, where people aren’t airbrushed to the max. Sometimes, even though I know that beauty isn’t always what pop culture and advertising would have me believe, I still find myself very self-conscious about my size.

Being so aware of my size and shape has made a few wedding activities more than a little frightening for me, and none more so than something that most girls can’t WAIT for: finding the dress. Since I’m being honest, I’ll say it—finding a dress terrifies me. Trying on dresses terrifies me. Imagining people judging me for the dress I eventually choose, yep, terrifies me. I tell people that I’m a laid-back bride who is waiting to find the right dress, but in truth? I’m partially stalling because of my nerves.

Although sharing this part of myself isn’t easy, my weight and my size don’t define me; it’s the internal stuff that makes me who I am. I have been making a conscious effort over the past few months to make healthy choices and to get out there and MOVE, as I’m determined to keep myself as fit as possible in the lead-up to the big day. But it doesn’t stop there for me: I’m doing it for fertility reasons also because it sure would be nice to add some Baby Jaguars to the pack one day, good health allowing.

So to all my calorie-counting brides-to-be out there, I salute you…and I’ll be joining your bandwagon—motivation works wonders, and I know how challenging it can be sometimes, so it’s nice to know we’re not alone.

What methods have you been using to keep yourself healthy before, and after, your wedding?