Missing

Missing

October 19th, 2010 @ 5:52 pm by Mrs. Jaguar
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Announcing an engagement almost certainly results in a mixed bag of emotions.

Having the whole experience happen while we were living abroad was awesome. It’s a story I won’t ever forget, and it means the world to me because it’s something that Mr. Jaguar and I experienced together. The first few weeks following our engagement were lovely, and we had a lot of support and well wishes—cards were sent to us across the waters, and we received lots of phone messages, texts, sweet comments, and e-mails that made our day.

The part that was the most difficult about being here was being so far away from family and friends when it came to celebrating the engagement and sharing the excitement. We were sort of stumped at the beginning: who do we celebrate with? We had both made friends through living and working in London, and while they were legitimately pleased for us, it wasn’t quite the same. My work friends didn’t really know Mr. Jaguar; Mr. Jaguar’s work friends didn’t really know me. Holding a celebratory engagement dinner or drinks night seemed a little redundant, so we just kept it to ourselves.

I won’t lie to you—I missed not being able to share it with my family. I missed not being able to share it with my few good friends back in Sydney. I missed not being there, with Mr. Jaguar by my side, to celebrate it all in person. We might still do something when we are back in Sydney, but I feel like we missed the boat on celebrating the “engagement” for what it was while it was young, fresh, new.

There was also a little bit of disappointment involved, especially when it came to friends who I thought would have been happy to hear the good news. I realise that our engagement wasn’t the most important thing going on in people’s lives at the time, and I certainly didn’t expect people to drop what they were doing to jump on the wedding bandwagon with me.

At the end of the day, though, the propsal was something pretty major for me, something that I’d been hoping for for a really long time. There were a few people who I had hoped would have shown a little interest in the news…when instead, there was silence. No e-mails, no congratulations, really just no interest in it at all.

I suppose it was a good indication of who really did want to be involved in the lead up to the wedding, and who was just along for the ride. It still stung, though.

Were you disappointed with anyone’s reaction after you announced your engagement?

Tags: engagement, sydney |

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11 Responses to “Missing”

Member

ms.moonlight (message) 209 posts, Helper bee

It’s like you are in my head. I completely understand what you are saying. You acknowledge that people have other things going on in their lives, but you still think you deserve two minutes, right?!I think major events (weddings/engagements, divorces, deaths, births) bring out interesting aspects of peoples’ personalities. I have definitely taken peoples’ reactions into account when determining wedding roles.
Remember - their reactions are not about you and are not a reflection on you. Be happy for yourself and know that you are on a beautiful journey - with or without the disappointing people.
Congratulations, by the way.

10/19/10 @ 6:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Earrings (message) 2,477 posts, Buzzing bee

I felt the exact same way after our engagement. It was wonderful and romantic….but there was no one to share that excitement with. Both our families were overseas, my friends in our current town didnt really know Mr E yet…and so there was no engagement party or anything, and no one seemed that excited for us. We had a mini engagement party 6 months later with just my family which helped a bit.

10/19/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

Member

aruka11 (message) 615 posts, Busy bee

Oh, so glad you posted this! I definitely felt the same way. I had nobody really close for me ask to see my ring, throw an engagement party, or ask for details about the proposal. While I was SO excited, it was definitely a little hard, too.

10/19/10 @ 6:34 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hermit Crab (message) 3,564 posts, Sugar bee

We got engaged in October and had our engagement parties in April and June - with a long engagement, it’s never too late

10/19/10 @ 7:29 pm (reply)

Member

feministbride (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

Ditto, Mrs. Hermit Crab, it’s never too late!!

10/19/10 @ 7:45 pm (reply)

Member

Queen2bee (message) 129 posts, Blushing bee

I was disappointed with my parents’ reaction. They saw this coming, as we have been together for 7 years, but they have yet to acknowledge it, and when I bring up wedding details, my mom says it’s too far away to think about. They have even told other relatives that we’re NOT getting married. I am hoping that nearer the date, they will be more receptive to the idea. They have never dealt with a long engagement before. Hang in there.

10/19/10 @ 9:14 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

Girl I know how you feel. He proposed, we had a 2 year long engagement, and we got married at the courthouse with no one there because we were living in Tokyo. It kind of put a damper on things but it just makes the wedding celebration EVEN MORE special!

10/19/10 @ 9:28 pm (reply)

Member

hopeandpray (message) 250 posts, Helper bee

Hmm I guess that alot of people probably already consider you engaged in their minds before you really are, maybe an indication that they really believed in your relationship rather than a complete lack of interest?
I’m sure it sucks though as I will still be super excited when a certain cousin of mine gets engaged even though its pretty set in stone that it will happen and won’t be much of a surprise

10/20/10 @ 9:44 am (reply)

Member

mjchexum (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

I felt a little let down when we got engaged too. All of our friends and family live in the same are as we do, and for some reason I kind of expected someone to throw us a party or at least take us out to dinner or something but none of that ever happened. I’m not mad about it, it just would have fun. Everyone was excited of course, but I guess I just expected some big blow out. But we’ll have the wedding right? So no big deal!

10/20/10 @ 11:52 am (reply)

10.

Member

Miss Twigs (message) 126 posts, Blushing bee

It is hard and we have had some of the same lack of interest. It does sting and I’m not making light of that. But, you know what? You have an amazing man who is going to marry you and in my mind, that positive trumps the lack of congratulations. Besides, you have all of us reading your posts and getting really excited for you!

10/20/10 @ 1:55 pm (reply)

11.