Weddingbee Blog

After the dust settled on Mr. S’s Christmas Day proposal—after the ring was on my finger and all the hugs with his family had been exchanged—I asked his mother and grandmother when they wore their rings and when they took them off. See, I’ve never worn a ring with any regularity before because they were always uncomfortable and getting in the way. But this was a ring I’d be wearing every day. I wasn’t sure if I should take it off to shower, to do the dishes, to sleep, etc. I was clueless.

Both Mr. S’s mother and grandmother said the same thing. “I never, ever take mine off, except when I’m cleaning it.” When I got back to work, a coworker told me that she takes hers off as soon as she gets home and only wears it when she leaves the house. Other friends told me that they wear theirs all the time, unless they’re asleep or in the shower.

But I wore mine all the time at first. It was new and shiny, and I was excited about it! And then, after a few weeks, I started to realize how it always got caught on the afghan that I like to snuggle on the couch with. And how, when I sleep (on my stomach with my hands under my pillow) it pokes and stabs my other fingers. I started thinking that maybe I’d take it off once in a while.

I brought this up to Mr. S one night after we’d been out drinking. We got home, got into our pajamas, and crawled into bed when I said, conversationally, “I think I’m going to buy a ring holder to keep on the nightstand so that I can take my ring off when I sleep.”

What I expected Mr. S to say: “OK…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

What Mr. S said instead: “What do you mean? You don’t want to wear the ring anymore? But you were so excited to get it! You know if you take it off you’re going to lose it. And why do you hate wearing it so much?” Etc. etc. etc.

It turned into a big thing, you guys. He was so offended that I didn’t want to wear the ring that I’d been talking about for months. And I was so offended that he thought I was stupid enough to lose the damned thing. He thought that I wanted to take my ring off only because my friends did. And I thought he only wanted me to keep it on because the women in his family did. By the time we went to sleep an hour later, we were still kind of drunk and annoyed.

The next morning, we realized we were being silly. Mr. S realized that just because his mother and grandmother did things one way, it didn’t mean it was the only way. He realized that the fact that I didn’t want to wear the ring 24/7 had nothing to do with how I felt about the engagement and our wedding. And I realized that he was right: I do lose stuff all the time.

And later that afternoon, I ordered this ring holder from Urban Outfitters. For five bucks.

Source

It sits on my nightstand, and my ring sits in it at night. I’ve never lost the ring, and I sleep better without it. I’ve never forgotten to put it on in the morning, and it never snags the sheets. Win-win.

Do you take your ring off while you’re at home? Do you have a special place where you keep it?