Weddingbee Blog

So, this feels like a weird thing to admit, but…hive…I’ve been pretty scared of my wedding lately.

Doesn’t that just sound ridiculous? I know it’s silly when I say it out loud, but that’s just the truth. Let me explain a little.

Mr. Cardigan and I went through a lot of drama with wedding stuff recently, and it made it really hard for me to be excited about the wedding. Being three months away from the wedding and having no idea who will be officiating (or if you’ll have to, you know, WRITE your own ceremony!) is kind of a stressful thing. There was a period of about a month where I really just did nothing for the wedding at all. Every time I thought about it I got super stressed and upset and I just couldn’t do it. So I pretended like it didn’t exist.

And, it worked. For a while. Until one day I randomly logged onto The Knot and saw the (evil) little countdown telling me how many days were left. Then I totally freaked, because the number is WAY SMALLER that I thought it would be.

My mind immediately went into overdrive trying to figure out what I could do to get my butt in gear. I had reached a point where I had ignored things for so long that it was almost too overwhelming to even pick it back up. Where would I start? I have so much to do! And how in the world would I ever be able to work on wedding stuff when I was still so stressed about who would be doing the wedding?

Well, my friends, I have good news!

Last week, I got a call from BIL Cardy. We talked for a while, but the end product of the conversation is that he’s decided he wants to officiate our wedding ceremony.

!!!!!!!!

I know it was probably a tough decision for him, but he said that once he really thought about it he realized that what he wants is for me to be happy on my wedding day and for me to have what I want. And if he can have some part in giving that to me, then he wants to.

Hive, I have no words for how happy this makes me. I almost cried on the phone with him when he called to tell me. This little idea that started off as just a thought in my and Mr. Cardy’s heads has turned into a huge part of our wedding that means more to me than I can ever explain. I feel so blessed to have such a close relationship with my brother-in-law, and I’m so excited that he’ll be the one to marry Mr. Cardy and me.

That news was really all I needed to myself back into wedding mode. For the first time in over a month, I can say that I’m really excited about our wedding again, and I’m having fun planning it. I’ve poured several hours this past week into projects and ceremony writing (which deserves a whole post to itself) and I finally feel like I’m getting a grasp on things once again.

It was a conscious decision that I had to make, but I am no longer scared of my wedding. Sure, when I think of everything I have to do to get ready for the wedding in the next few months (on top of student teaching, finding a job, and graduating from college) I start to freak out a little. But I know I can handle it. I’m ready to tackle the projects I have left, and I’m getting more and more excited to see all of our ideas come together in two and a half months. I thought about looking up how many days it is, but I’m too scared to. Maybe the fear isn’t completely gone yet!

Did you go through a point where planning got so stressful that it was scary? How did you cope with it?