Weddingbee Blog

First of all, thank you to the hive SO MUCH for all of your comments on my last post. I read them with tears in my eyes, and Mr. Socks and I so appreciate the kind words, the good wishes, and even the angry words directed at my in-laws

I have to admit, a few times I might have pictured gathering up all of you bees, getting our pitchforks and torches and storming their doors, Beauty and the Beast style. But I know that doing so won’t help the situation, and while it may feel good for a second, it won’t repair the day and it won’t make me feel THAT much better, so…now what?

Mr. Socks and I have made the choice to not speak with his family, cutting off pretty much all contact with them. It’s a sad, but necessary choice that we feared might have happened before the wedding anyway. We need to heal from these wounds and concentrate on US for a while, I think. I’ve done a little reading on toxic parents and dealing with toxic relationships, and I think my favorite resource so far has been Bullies Be Gone Blog.

Mr. Socks and I are going to implement some of the suggestions to remove these toxic relationships from our lives.

We will focus on creating our own little “island” and only bring people on who enrich our lives and make us better, stronger, and more loving people. We will also listen to each other, whenever the other needs an ear, we will talk about it, we will work through our feelings instead of hiding them, and we will generally just keep lines of communication constantly open. Though we react very differently to the situation (I get mad, emotional, weepy, unreasonable; he gets quiet, reflective, and always has a clear, reasonable mind), we must remember that we are on the same team and we need to let the other person feel how they feel.

As for his family, we will not include them on our island for a very, very, very long time, if even then. We are not holding out for a change of heart from his family, but if one ever does come around, we may be open in the future to reestablishing a relationship as long as there are limits and boundaries. Personally, I don’t think we have to worry about them having a TRUE change of heart, but you just never know. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive, but Mr. Socks has an overwhelmingly large heart, always tries to see the good in people and always takes the high road. In the end, we will make the right decision for our family.

I am unsure of what this means for our thank-you cards now, as it feels unbearably rude to not send a thank-you, but then again…um…our wedding day was ruined…and these people didn’t stick up for us, and in most cases, didn’t stick around for us…if they weren’t the people ruining it for us. Mr. Socks doesn’t feel ready to send thank-yous to his family while we are still so hurt, and I’m not sure how exactly to handle this (Emily Post’s head would probably explode over this situation anyway, right?).

So…what would you do? Send thank-yous to his whole family? Send them to only the people who weren’t a part of the blow-up? Send them only to the people who stuck around (all four of them)? Or…my personal favorite…send “thank-you for ruining our wedding” cards? Just kidding…sort of.

Aaand just because I feel bad writing two really super long posts in a row, here’s a picture BIL Socks took: