I’d Like Some Cheese with My Whine

I’d Like Some Cheese with My Whine

October 21st, 2010 @ 5:17 pm by Ms. Sloth
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After trying on a whole slew of dresses, I realized something: dress shopping SUCKS.

I'd Like Some Cheese with My Whine : wedding philadelphia wedding dress Whining whining

Maybe I was naive, but I expected that it would be sort of fun. I love regular shopping, so what’s not to love about shopping for a wedding dress?

Well, a lot, actually.

First of all, I’ve encountered two different types of attitudes from salespeople during my limited dress-shopping forays. One is the “OMG YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED YOU ARE TOTALLY GOING TO HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS ON YOUR BIG SUPER-SPECIAL DAY!!!” attitude. The other is the “Yeah, whatever, the dresses are on that rack over there” ’tude. The only two retailers where I actually felt welcome but not overwhelmed were polar opposites: David’s Bridal and J. Crew. Unfortunately, the dresses at David’s aren’t quite my style, and the dresses at the Crew, while beautiful, just weren’t made for my body.

Which brings me to my next complaint. I wear a dress size 12–14, but I’ve got big boobs. Like, BIG boobs. Which basically means that the flowy, Grecian, chiffon dresses that I had in my mind as the ideal bridal look were completely not made for my bod. The dresses that do look good on my body are usually highly structured, corseted, and fairly puffy at the bottom. Not my cup of tea.

Even worse, I’ve discovered that most traditional bridal shops only carry samples in one or two sizes, and they are NEVER a street size 12–14. Look, I know that I’m overweight (and I know and believe that women of all sizes are beautiful and blah blah blah, but trust me—I know my BMI, and I do have more than a few pounds to lose), but I am sort of average sized for the American woman. So it’s pretty frustrating that most shops have samples that are a dress size eight (which is like a street size four), and I can’t even get them over my head. At one shop, the saleswoman had the gall to patronize me by saying “Well, why don’t you just hold it up to you so you can see what it looks like on?” Seriously?

The other issue is the general lack of availability of the dresses I’d like to try on. I’m not a fan of most traditional wedding-gown designers, but there are a few that have dresses I’d be willing to try: Watters, Casablanca, Pronovias. I’ve pored over those designers’ websites and made a list of which style numbers I’d like to try. I’ve called every single retailer within 30 miles of Philadelphia, and you know what? Most of them don’t carry the majority of dresses that I want to try! I called a shop that is considered a “premier” retailer of Pronovias, and out of the 12 dresses on my list, they didn’t carry a single one! And I’ve had the same issues with other shops around here. I’m dying to try on the Watters Austin or Stella, and I can’t find a single store that actually has either one in stock!

Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. Maybe I need to just find something that looks OK and wear it. Or maybe I need to find a decent local dressmaker and have something custom made. Because this whole dress-shopping thing blows, and I’ve just about had it. Sigh.

Did you ever get frustrated with dress shopping or with any aspect of wedding planning? How did you find the motivation to keep going when something was getting you down?

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42 Responses to “I’d Like Some Cheese with My Whine”

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Member

jackie-o (message) 2,389 posts, Buzzing bee

I live in Seattle and went dress shopping in Dallas, MISTAKE! Once I came back to Seattle not a single bridal store had the dresses I fell in love with in Dallas. I KNEW I wanted to buy one of the dresses from Dallas but I didn’t want to buy it w/out trying it on again and swirling around etc…I ended up buying my dress in Portland and the salon I bought from, they too, didn’t have the dresses but they had the designer. What they did have was A+ customer service. They knew I was gonna buy my dress with them so they flew in my top contenders from the designers trunk show. I bought the dress I wanted and the Portland store sent back the dresses to the designer and everything worked out! Keep your head up. Don’t stop. Find a store you feel like you mesh with and who is willing to work with exactly what you want

10/21/10 @ 5:27 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Twigs (message) 126 posts, Blushing bee

Hang in there and DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED. If I can find a dress I love at a street size 16/18 (and I finally did), anyone can. I was in the “Well, maybe something I kinda like will be ok” place too and am so glad I didn’t settle. A dressmaker is a great idea. There has to be a flowy dress out there with the feel you want that works with your body…and never, ever underestimate the power of great undergarments!

10/21/10 @ 5:29 pm (reply)

Member

mbee (message) 17 posts, Newbee

Did you try Jennifer’s Bridal in DE? I got my Pronovias dress there and they seemed to carry a TON of different Pronovias styles.

10/21/10 @ 5:33 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

I’m sorry to hear it Sloth I think you need to find the style that works for you first. You said the Grecian thing wasn’t working out (sad face) so I think you need to find out what DOES work and then look for that specifically, regardless of designer. Good luck! I’m rooting for ya!

10/21/10 @ 5:35 pm (reply)

Member

crayfish (message) 4,844 posts, Honey bee

Dress shopping SUCKED for me. I really don’t like most wedding gowns, and i’m 6′1″ 12/14 and also have big boobs. Nightmare. I ended up with a J. Crew gown that I let out in the bust out of pure frustration. It looked all right, but it wasn’t my dream dress. I don’t think that existed! As a design buff, that was really disappointing to me.

10/21/10 @ 5:36 pm (reply)

Member

HardyPooleParty (message) 631 posts, Busy bee

Why not take a quick trip to NYC. Phillie isnt far at all and there is an absolutely mind boggling amount of bridal boutiques here with every dress under the sun. Amtrak is super easy, or even the Chinatown bus if you want to keep it quick and dirty. I’d be happy to help you with suggested places to go, and even run around with you if you like. It really is a much better experience then you’ve had thus far!

10/21/10 @ 5:36 pm (reply)

Guest

AMK

Have you tried RK Bridal in NYC? I am also a 12-14 normally. I went there and fit many of the size 12 dresses they had on the floor - some were tight, but it worked out. They were not rude about my size and the woman I got - Jo, was amazing. I would request her if you can. She picked 3 dresses and the 2 I had to decide between were the ones she picked… not the ones I had picked online.

I also learned early on that with the boobs, the strapless dresses didn’t flatter me that much. I opted to go with a V neck line dress with medium thick straps. The dress is amazin and rouched at the waist to hide any unflattering areas - also the A lines don’t constrict you horribly.

RK was also super affordable. My dress was $700, definitely way cheaper than an expensive boutique but a more than DB or something. Check it out if you can get up there for a weekend and ask for Jo!

10/21/10 @ 5:42 pm (reply)

Member

tinylittlebird (message) 1,695 posts, Bumble bee

Don’t worry! It really will be ok!

And I feel super guilty for saying that I actually have seen the Watters Austin in person, but I didn’t try it on b/c it was WAY over my budget….

You should ask the salons that carry Watters if they can get dresses on loan. The salon I went to was able to get 2 dresses for me on loan from a trunk show to try on. You won’t be able to pick the sample size (ie. they might not fit) but you could at least see them in person.

10/21/10 @ 5:44 pm (reply)

Member

HardyPooleParty (message) 631 posts, Busy bee

@AMK: I got a bridesmaid dress for another wedding from RK. The experience was great, and we saved about $100 a dress using their No Frills. Not saying I would suggest that for a wedding dress, but its def a place to check out Miss Sloth.

10/21/10 @ 5:48 pm (reply)

10.

Member

stephanie63087 (message) 2,936 posts, Sugar bee

ugh i know how you feel…. one of the bridal shops here has offered to ‘borrow’ a sample of the dress i love and couldnt try on, in a larger size!!! im very excited about that. but yea… overall my experience has been about the same, no samples fit, consultants are either rude or sympathetic

10/21/10 @ 6:05 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Sand Dollar (message) 1,305 posts, Bumble bee

Blah. I’m sorry it’s becoming such a pill for you. Dress shopping should be fun! I know the shop where I chose my dress, Providence Place, made sure to carry dresses in both plus and petite sizes as well as the average, so that every bride can try on at least one dress. I wish more shops would choose this method, I have to say that though I have the opposite problem, many shops don’t carry dresses small enough to fit me, so I’m swallowed in the size 8’s and have no earthly idea how the gown would possibly look on me. Bah! Sometimes the “best” wedding planning tasks end up being the worst!

10/21/10 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Liz

ahhh those of us blessed with the amble bosoms.

I discovered the very same thing: structured all the way. no flowy-ness. nada.

1. High tail it up to NYC for a day even.
2. Pronovias has its flagship store on 50-something th street. I went. Good experience. Lots of dresses, but mostly ones from this years (or maybe last) catalogue. I was looking for a specific one, but ended up finding some great ones. You can probably fit the samples here - I’m a 8/10 with a DD chest and they were pinned smaller on me, so you should be good… or at least have a more positive experience than most bridal stores!
3. Like someone else said: RK bridal. You should fit into a lot of those, and they are the only place in NYC to carry Watters (strange). Very affordable.

Good luck!

10/21/10 @ 6:23 pm (reply)

13.

Member

StrawberryBee (message) 149 posts, Blushing bee

erm, so as a gal the same size as you in the same are…I’m screwed aren’t I? I have an appointment at DB next Wednesday in Feasterville. Yay whee fun!

10/21/10 @ 6:28 pm (reply)

14.

Member

feministbride (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

This is why I am scared to try on dresses…

10/21/10 @ 6:41 pm (reply)

15.

Member

staceynrick (message) 472 posts, Helper bee

Yep… I’m flying to CA so my mom can go shopping with me… I’m anticipating 2-5 meltdowns and lots of comments about how
“I can lose the weight and look fabulous”…ugh! NOT looking forward to dress shopping!!

I hope your shopping experience improves! Give us updates!

10/21/10 @ 6:54 pm (reply)

16.

Member

mareundarum (message) 83 posts, Worker bee

I feel your pain. Size 12/14, size G cup bosom. Yes, G. I was uber anxious about dress shopping, thought that it was going to go horribly and everything. My first dress shop, while not everything went on me, the woman was so sweet and told me she wasn’t going to tell me any of the sizes because I am the size I am. Made me smile. If you’re up to it, I had a good experience at Betsy Robinson Bridal in Baltimore.

10/21/10 @ 7:28 pm (reply)

17.

Member

JoyfulBee (message) 167 posts, Blushing bee

Don’t worry! You’ll find “The One”!!

I’m sorry you haven’t had a good experience with all this, but trust me; you’ll find a good fit - with both your dress, and your consultant.

I’ve never really had a good time with trying on clothes, and most of the time, it takes three or four trips to the fitting room to get it right. But when I went dress shopping, my consultant was a dream, and it really helped!

Hold out, don’t settle. Find the one you love, and get it! That’s one thing that my Mister was adamant on, and you should be, too!

10/21/10 @ 7:43 pm (reply)

18.

Guest

Sara

This is the first time I’ve posted on here, but I’m breaking my silence to tell you not to settle! Don’t give up! I had the EXACT same experience with dress shopping (except I have a boy’s body) and I tried on over 45 dresses before finding “the one” last week-end! I was so frustrated that the places that carried the lines I liked didn’t have the dresses that I wanted, or that the sales girls tried to play on my emotions, or act like I was the problem- since they didn’t have anything that thrilled me then I must be “indecisive” or “not ready” AND one girl even told me that she just didn’t see what I liked looking good on my body. ???? Yeah. I was extremely overwhelmed that a process that was supposed to be “fun” was the most stressful part of all my planning. Trust me, your dress is out there.

10/21/10 @ 7:58 pm (reply)

19.

Guest

Kaye

Oh my, I am just beginning dress shopping, but I already feel your frustration. I have been looking for Justin Alexander dresses and Watters dresses as well, but even if the website says the retailer carries the whole line, they really don’t. The ones that do, do not carry the size 16/18 I need! I feel your pain, and I am dreading even stepping foot in a salon!

10/21/10 @ 8:27 pm (reply)

20.

Member

SapphireSun (message) 4,749 posts, Honey bee

Blah… I’m a size 12/14 and was lamenting about this at one of the bridal stores I was at, and they were just straight up like… yep, you’re in the black hole of the bridal industry.
Good thing I was never hoping to buy a sample.

10/21/10 @ 9:21 pm (reply)

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