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You might remember that Mom and Dad Octopus gave me an awesome graduation gift when I got my master’s degree: a gift certificate to a jeweler in my hometown who does beautiful work, with the intent that I could put it toward a custom-made wedding band. It was a really thoughtful and special gift, and I was so excited to use it.
After some research, I found myself really drawn to rings with an open, delicate, scrolling design. These are the inspiration pictures I brought to the jeweler:
After two weeks or so, you might also remember that the jeweler got back to me with five sample sketches depicting his ideas for my ring:
Based on the sketches, I thought we were clearly on the same wavelength about how I’d like the ring to look. I asked him to go ahead and create the design of #1, with the tulip-style flowers of #5.
The only other consultation we had about the ring took place about two weeks before the wedding. The jeweler has a reputation for taking quite a while to complete his pieces, so when I was in town and stopped by to check on the ring, I wasn’t surprised when he only had the wax mold to show me. It was hard to see much detail in the wax mold, but you could tell there was a scrolling, open pattern, and he reassured me that much of the detail could only be finalized when he was actually working with the metal. I approved the design and went on my merry way.
So Mom Octopus picked up the ring the Tuesday before the wedding, and when I called her to ask how it looked, she said, “it’s beautiful. It looks quite a bit thicker than I expected, but it’s beautiful.”
The next night, my parents arrived in Pittsburgh from my hometown, and Mr. O and I from Boston. My mom showed me the wedding band, and my reaction was…surprise. She was right; the ring is beautiful. But she was also right that it was quite a bit thicker than what I had been expecting. I had expected, and wanted, a ring that had a definite dainty, lacy quality. Here’s what the band looks like:
As I said before, it really is a beautiful ring. However, I also think it only marginally resembles the delicate floral patterns of the ring pictures I showed him, and I think the execution is far less intricate than the sketch led me to believe it would be. In my opinion, it just really doesn’t look like what I asked for.
The other issue is that the wedding band looks drastically different in style from my engagement ring. I had never thought they would match exactly, because my plan was to switch my engagement ring to my right hand after we got married. I did, however, expect that the two rings would share a general aesthetic. I think my engagement ring has a delicate, feminine vibe, and I thought the dainty, floral, filigree look of the bands I had in mind would complement it nicely. Now, I feel like the wedding band looks awfully clunky compared to my engagement ring. I know I’d have them on two different hands, but I think they’re so incongruous in style that I’m not really into that idea anymore.
Now, there’s the question of where to go with this. At the time of the wedding, there was nothing we could do—I got the band Wednesday night, the wedding was Saturday afternoon, so that’s the band I got married with. Mom Octopus could tell that I felt pretty lukewarm about how it turned out, and asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told her that I’d keep it, wear it for a while, and see if I warmed up to it.
I haven’t, really. Whenever I look at it, I think, “it’s a pretty ring, but…” Bottom line, it just isn’t what I wanted. It’s pretty, but I don’t love it, and it’s not what I wanted.
I don’t know how to proceed, though! I haven’t been back to my hometown since before the wedding, and the jeweler is not aware that I’m not really satisfied. I don’t know how to bring it up to him, or if there even is any recourse here. I’ve never had a piece of jewelry custom-made before, so I don’t know what happens if the customer doesn’t love the final product. I approved the sketch and the wax mold, but I didn’t see the end result until after it was paid for—how does that work? What do I do?
Oh, and speaking of paid for—the ring was not at all inexpensive. It cost a fair amount less than the Fay Cullen rings I showed him, but it was NOT cheap. Definitely not a price I’m comfortable paying for a “meh” end result, to be sure. Because of the money factor, I definitely feel like I should find a solution that makes me happier.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, Hive. How should I address this to the jeweler? What would you say to him? He’s a really nice man, and I don’t want to be confrontational, so keep that in mind. If there’s no solution to be found there, what would you do? I feel pretty uncomfortable with trying to sell it on eBay or something; after all, I don’t love the ring, but it is the ring I married Mr. Octo with!
What do you all think?
oh that’s disappointing, octo! i’m sorry about that. you’re right, it’s a nice ring, but not at all like what you showed him or his sketches, and doesn’t really go with your engagement ring.
you could approach him and be really nice and appreciative for all the work that he did, and then say unfortunately you don’t feel like it was what you were looking for, and that based on the drawings you thought it would be different. is there anything to be done? you know he put a lot of work into it and that this isn’t a small thing to ask, but you just want to make sure that you’re all happy with the experience.
i imagine that he’s had to deal with this kind of situation before, so you can see what he says as the options. perhaps for an extra fee (but not as much as the ring costs), he could redo one. or, he could give you a partial refund and you can buy another ring that you feel better suits your needs.
Maybe he can rework it or add some filigree to it? I had my wedding ring custom made and the jeweler really wanted to ensure I was happy with it so I’m sure he would be willing to work with you to mold this ring into something you will love if you just tell him you are not happy and have tried to give it some time but you are still having a hard time accepting this to be the ring you discussed. Of course, you may have to pay for labor or additional materials if necessary and you already mentioned a concern with cost. To be honest, I don’t think that rings looks like #1 in your sketch and only slightly resembles #5. In the sketch, there is more detail, thinner “leaf” bits and smaller stones. This is a hard situation, I wish you the best of luck.
I would go back to the jeweler and explain that you are not satisfied. He should be able to work with you, if he’s reputable. This is your wedding band after all, and while you’re right, it is a pretty ring, it’s not what you wanted. And when you’re getting a CUSTOM ring made, it should be what you want! Keep us posted!
Aw you are being far too kind to your jeweler. He might be a very nice person, but he let you down and gave you a product that looked nothing like what you wanted/he showed you sketches of! My heart goes out to you on this and I think so far you’ve handled it with grace. At the end of the day you will be wearing this for the rest of your life so need to be happy with it, don’t settle. He needs to make this right, so maybe you can save the stones and melt down the metal to craft the ring you want? I know a great jeweler in Raleigh,NC if you are ever in town 
Best of luck on this Mrs. O!
I would definitely go back to the jeweler with the original inspiration pictures, the sketches he made for you and just let him know that while you appreciate the work he did it was not what you were picturing and you do not feel it matches the sketches that he did for you. I would either try to get him to make a different ring or just try to get your money back!
Oh dear…. It is pretty, very pretty and very nice, but it does not resemble the sketches or your inspiration pics. It’s a tough decision, it was the ring you were married with…..but it’s not what you wanted.
Only you and your hubby can decide if you want to keep it based upon the sentiment involved with it being the ring you were married with, or if you choose to select another ring.
I do like it!!!!
I think you are being generous when you say it is a beautiful ring. I was shocked when I saw your inspiration photos, the sketches and then the final ring-which appears very clunky and heavy in the photos. I would let the jeweler know ASAP, get a refund and purchase something that has already been made and that you like at that store. And then purchase your band elsewhere. Where are the tulips on this ring?
Hi Mrs. Octo, I actually work in the jewelry business. From what I can tell, the jeweler did not deliver anywhere near his sketch. One thing of note, it also seems what he showed you were personal sketches on a piece of paper, not an actual sketch from a model maker with schematics on the actual ring. It looks as if he free styled the ring, possibly even doing so by hand carving the wax? None the less, its not what you want.
I would not accept this from one of my model makers, and I certainly, as a customer would not accept this either. It, in my opinion, is wildly off from where you wanted to be, and I assume you showed him the ring images you attached here, to model it after? There is no excuse. If he is a jeweler even remotely worth his salt, he will get this right for you. Be honest, and forthcoming about what issues you have and insist starting again. If he has any desire to make his customers happy, he will work on this with you. Also, dont wait any longer. The longer you wait, the odder it seems with a customer coming back after so long with concerns about the ring.
Lastly, are you looking to wear this ring under your engagement ring? May I suggest creating a band that has the same thin prong set diamonds, or no diamonds if not in the budget, with the filigree and beading work, to compliment the engagement ring, and have the wall, the side of the ring, with the open work tulip filigree look that you are looking for. I think this would be the best of both worlds, and you’d be quite happy in the end.
If I can be of any help, by all means, please email me! And do contact the jeweler asap and let them know your not happy!
I agree with 7Sevenj9 that you should get what you want when you have a custom piece made. I had my necklace custom made, and she had finished a pretty large chunk of it by the time I saw a photo. I felt terrible, but ended up telling her it wasn’t at all what I wanted. She was so nice and understanding, and said the same thing - it’s custom. It should be what you want it to be. And I agree with other posters that if you’re nice about it and explainhow you feel about it, I’m sure he will work with you. Good luck!
I would just be honest with him. He’s a professional; he can take it. It looks nothing like what he promised you, and I would be horribly disappointed…ask for a refund. That thing is not delicate–it’s clunky. I second what VegasBaby said–where are the tulips?
I agree with VegasBaby, I think the workmanship on your ring is lack lustre at best. I see no floral work, and what he has created can certainly not be considered filligree. If anything, he may have the size (width) right, based on your inspiration photos, but he certainly has none of the details.
I would go back to his store, and explain your concerns, and let him know why you are unhappy with the ring. It really looks nothing like your inspiration, and frankly, I think the detail work is shoddy- it’s bumpy! I think a refund is in order.
I agree with @vegasbaby. You’re being really generous about the quality of this ring. Bless your heart!! I’m not sure he can make this ring look like the photos you showed him. I would bring those inspiration pics in and see what he says. You’ve already handled this better than most people would! Good luck.
First thing— I’d call him ASAP. Especially because it has been paid for you don’t want him to feel like this is coming out of left field a long ways down the road. Then just be honest. Ask for a meeting with him and show him your inspiration again and express your unhappiness. He should fix it!
My rings were custom and, while not floral, have the pave and filligree of your inspiration rings - we have a fantastic jeweler in Boston if you want the name just PM me
So sorry!
As someone who has had a custom ring project go awry, I can totally relate! However, I was lucky enough to have an awesome jeweler who fixed it immediately. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your jeweler should be ashamed that he released this ring to you; it is CLEARLY not what you asked for. I wonder if since your mom picked it up and didn’t really have a say about it that he was just hoping she wouldn’t make a fuss and you’d be stuck with it?
Either way, you do have some recourse. I would call/e-mail/speak to him in person asap so that he can’t say you waited too long. Be polite, but firm. If he argues that you approved the sketches AND the mold, counter that you only approved the mold with the promise that the end result would have much more detail, and obviously he didn’t deliver on that promise…especially if from the looks of it you wanted millgrain? It sort of looks like he had it on sketch #1, but it’s not on the ring at all. Don’t back down, and good luck! I hope you get the ring of your dreams!
If I had never seen the inspiration pictures or the sketches, I would have thought that it was a beautiful ring. It is whimsical and cute.
However, the ring is nothing like the inspiration pictures, or any of the sketches. And ultimately, that was what you approved. I agree with the other posters - call and speak with him and explain that, while lovely, it is no where near what you envisioned.
What does his other work look like? More like your inspiration pictures or more like what you ended up with?
I’ve worked with a fair amount of jewelry artists who make work similar to the ring you ended up with, and I think their work is great. But I wouldn’t expect them to be able to (or want to) make a ring like your inspiration pictures. If the jeweler normally makes things that are aesthetically appealing to you, then by all means go back and get him to give you something you like. If the jeweler normally makes things that look like what you ended up with, I wouldn’t expect a significantly different result even if you can get him to make you a new ring.
I agree that you should contact him sooner rather than later or too much time will have passed. Make it clear that it’s not what you had in mind and you’re wondering what he can do to make it fit with your idea. I had a very similar idea in mind, similar inspiration photo, and had my wedding band custom made to fit with my engagement ring. You can read about it here, and at the very least, have a better idea for round two (with this jeweler or another one). http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/07/13/a-ring-is-born. I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted the first time. Don’t worry about “it’s the ring you married him with” — it’s a symbol and you’ll want to be happy every time you look down at your wedding ring, not feel let down or bummed out.
I am so sorry to say I agree with VegagBaby. I had a custom necklace made from my great grandmothers engagement ring and we got what we paid for. It turned out exactly how I told him I wanted it to. Sounds like you also paid a good deal of money and you should get what you want. Let him know this is not what you were expecting and get a refund. Maybe take it to a different place and use you graduation gift towards a mens ring which is more standard.
Oh yes, take it from someone who’se spent her whole life looking at jewelry. That ring is NOT what you asked him for. I could see the difference right away and you aren’t happy with it so definitely let him know about it. You have every right to call him and talk to him about it. I don’t understand how anyone would think that is even close to what you wanted. It’s your wedding band, you should love it. Call and talk to him, get what you want. Explain everything…that it NEEDS to be dainty and clean, and match the quality of your engagement ring.
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Mrs. Octopus, Boston, MA/Pittsburgh, PA Age and Occupation: 25, Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Graphics Operator for TV News Engagement Date: May 6th, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception About Me: When my best friend dragged me to a toga party in our freshmen year of college, I was not expecting to meet my future husband; but seven years later, here we are. I'm a crazy-organized planner at heart, and I am a great lover of random trivia, books, chocolate, blogs, new and exciting adventures, mockumentary-style television, and anything heavily flavored with bright orange fake cheese powder. We're planning a festive and fun mini-destination wedding in the place where we met: fabulous Pittsburgh, PA! I can't wait to marry the man I love!
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