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I hate wearing my engagement ring.
Don’t get me wrong: I looooove my ring. I picked it out myself. I love the design, I love the fact that it’s vintage, and I love that it symbolizes our commitment.
Personal Photo (I really need a prettier photo of my ring, no?)
But I really hate wearing the thing. In general, I’ve never been a fan of wearing any jewelry on my hands. I’ve never been one to wear bracelets or rings, or even a watch. So, although I’ve been wearing the ring for almost a year, I still haven’t gotten used to having it on my finger.
Here are the major issues:
Crappy iPhone photo brought to you by yours truly
God help me if I want to wear a sweater, or cuddle up under the old afghan on our couch, or even reach into the back pocket of my jeans. The ring gets in the way.
I’m considering going back to the jeweler and seeing if he can somehow lower the setting, as I’ve demonstrated in this super-sophisticated illustration:
My mother says that if I do that it might not be as sparkly, since not as much light will be coming in from underneath. I don’t think I care, though. I’d rather have a ring that’s comfortable than one that’s blingtastic.
Did you get your ring adjusted for comfort reasons? Was it worth it?
I love your ring! I totally get what you’re saying about the knuckles though - I don’t know what they are called, but there are these little balls that they can put in the bottom of your ring that allows you to keep it the same size so it can go over your knuckle, but makes it feel tighter once it’s totally on - definitely ask your jeweler about it!
I really like that idea. It’s about making it fit you, not showing off to the world!
I used to work in jewelry, and I know from sending out customer repairs that what you’re asking for isn’t always possible, but it can usually be done.
If you find it catching on things, it may be more an issue of having your claws tightened and/or smoothed. Being lower will not stop the catching on things, but not having tall claws will. Your claws need to be rounded/smooth so there are no sharp points, as well as being sure they are holding the stone tightly, because if they are pulled away at all then that gives the ring more of a chance to catch on something: blankets, hair, fur, sweaters, mittens, etc.
I hope this helps!
I think it may not be so much how far the ring sticks out as the brackets holding the diamonds look as if they aren’t smooth and may catch easily on everything. I wonder if the jeweler could just make those less “catchy” and sharp? Worth a try before changing the setting height.
Very pretty ring! I’m sure any jeweler would be able to put a shorter head on your ring to make it sit lower. The only problem you might run into is that if you’re doing a regular style wedding band (are you?) it probably won’t be able to sit flush against your e-ring after…but a lot of people are totally okay with that, or there are the curved bands and stuff, too.
Oh, the things Mrs. Hermit Crab was talking about are called sizing balls…they’re pretty easy to do; any jeweler should be able to put one on for you.
I hope you can get it exactly how you want; don’t forget to post pics after if you have it done!!
Oh, and as for the balls inside, yes, thats possible too, sometimes the ring needs to be made slightly larger to give the room first,
A much more expensive option is to have a new shank put on. the shank is the gold of the ring. The type of shank I’m talking about is officially called an arthritic shank. It is sized to fit the base of your hand where the ring will be sitting, but with a special catch. It opens up on the side so you can clamp your ring closed where it fits and not worry about a spinning ring.
Just keep in mind that our fingers change sizes throughout the year, day, month, and so while it may be spinning now, there will be times when your fingers are swollen and its sitting snug and tight.
I have the same type of fingers, and for the first few months with my ring I was convinced I needed to bring it down at least a half size. I held off though, and I am so happy I did! During the summer, my ring always fit snugly, especially on the hot days and nights. It would have definitely been too small.
I was just examining my ring, and would they even be able to make it sit lower? The diamond sort of comes down in a point under the face (not sure if I am using the correct terminology here!). The point of mine sits right above, or maybe a millimetre or two above, where the little part that attaches it to the band is… Mine sits up a little high, but I really don’t see how it could be lower? Not sure if yours is the same though.
If it helps, I have really gotten used to my ring… however, the not being able to reach into the pocket of my jeans still gets to me sometimes lol
I felt like my ring stuck out really far at first too (~1/4″), but I actually got used to it. When I first got it, I thought it was going to be a big problem (catching on everything), but I think I’ve actually changed the way I use my hands for things — I never notice it anymore and no sweaters (or pockets, or handbag-linings) have been ruined, amazingly! If it’s really inconvenient, then yes, definitely see if they can ‘lower’ it a bit for you. But my advise is to give it a chance (though maybe you’ve already done it) and see if you adapt to wearing it (like I did).
I was going to say the same thing is Mrs Hermit Crab, definitely look into those. I’m not sure if they can slip in once you put the thing on, but if they can it should help with the sliding issues.
I had both of the same problems with my ring from my ex. The prongs were too high, and the ring was the right size to slip over my knuckle, but too big around my finger.
We too it back to the jeweler, and they sized it slightly smaller and then flattened out the bottom of the ring for me. Somehow, this change from a perfect circle to one with a straight side on the bottom makes it easier for your knuckle to slide through, but allows it to fit you finger better.
They also cut the prongs so they were much lower, and I stopped catching it on things - There wasn’t a loss in sparkle from this either, so I don’t think your Mom is right about that one.
I insisted on a really, really low setting (I picked out my own ring, too!) for this very reason, and my ring is still plenty sparkly! @MrsDSoon2B is right, though—I’ll never find a wedding band that fits next to it and we’ll have to shell out for a custom one. Just keep that in mind!
for the sliding do what i did - i put dots on mine - it still gets over my knuckles but the dots hold it so it doesnt spin or float between the bottom of my finger and my knuckle.
http://www.jewelry-secrets.com/Jewelry/Rings/Rings-Spinning/Stop-Ring-Spinning.html
ask your jeweler they can do it for you. mine works like a charm!
In terms of sizing - I have the same issue as you. Skinny fingers, fat knuckles! To solve this problem you can have your jeweler change the shape of the actual ring. Instead of having a round ring you should ask them to make it more of an oval. It will help immensely!
That was my biggest concern when picking out a ring. I wanted one that would sparkle but NOT catch on anything. My ring sticks up about as far as what you want and it still catches on stuff occasionally, but nothing like what I’ve heard from other friends with higher settings.
Go for it!! It’s what you want, so it’s your choice. 
I’m afraid my pearl has really been putting up with a lot of torture! It’s not so much that I catch it on things, because it’s round and smooth, but I smack it on doorways, and my locker, and just about anything else my hands come into contact with!
Love your ring! But, yes, I totally get the concern about it being too high. I shopped for my e-ring with my fiance and that was one of my specifications. Once we found a setting I loved I made sure to specify that the center stone be lowered significantly from where it originally was for just the same reason– I didn’t want it to knock around and catch on everything.
Good luck!
I have a question, does anyone just wear theirs around their neck? I do a lot of stuff that involves a) wearing gloves or 2. rock climbing and that’s pretty rough/ I need my hands free for that.
For the knuckle issue, I may have a suggestion…
My grandpa’s cousin has arthritis and had something put into the band of her ring so that she can flip open a clasp, slide the band apart (so that there is a wire in between connecting the two halves), and close it again once it’s over her knuckle. I wish I could explain that better, but maybe try talking to jewelers to see if they can do this for you.
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Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
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