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One of my biggest concerns for our wedding is how I’m going to get through the day without looking like this:
I’m not a big crier in real life. I definitely cry on occasion, especially during award acceptance speeches (yes I’m weird) and while reading books like The Time Traveller’s Wife (Mr. Knitting got annoyed at me for reading that in bed at 3 AM while sobbing profusely!). Despite these instances, crying is hardly a daily occurrence for me.
However, when it comes to weddings I’m a bit of a sobber. I can’t help it. When I see a bride walk down the aisle my eyes immediately start tearing up. While this is kind of sweet when it’s my sister walking down the aisle, it’s slightly more awkward when it’s someone I barely know (yes, I’m speaking from experience).
Much more difficult will be getting through my own wedding without sobbing. Even just walking down the aisle without tears streaming down my face seems pretty much impossible. I’m kind of hoping that I really only get this emotional about other people’s weddings, but I suspect that’s not the case. I think it will probably be worse at my own because I’ll be so touched that all these people have come to support Mr. Knitting and me.
If it was just a tear or two running down my face, no problem, but it’s more likely that I will turn into an incoherent sobbing mess. I’m particularly concerned for when I plan to speak at the reception because I spent a pretty big part of my toast at my sister’s wedding in tears. It turns out I can’t talk about my dead grandparents without bawling. The tricky thing is that I often have no idea what will make me cry. I know now from experience that I cry when a bride walks down the aisle and if I mention my grandparents, but I suspect on my wedding day I’m going to learn about a whole bunch of other things that make me cry.
Because of this I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to get through our ceremony and the toasts without bawling like a baby. However, most of the strategies I can think of for avoiding crying involve somehow blocking myself off emotionally and I don’t want to do that. I want to feel everything as it happens. Yes, walking down the aisle will probably make me cry, but that’s because I’ll probably feel so special, so loved, and so lucky to be marrying Mr. Knitting and I do not want to block myself off from feeling those things. I don’t want to make myself feel numb. I think my strategies may have to be things like biting my cheek, having a lot of tissues available, and wearing a lot of waterproof eye makeup. I may need to also start practicing my attractive crying face so I don’t end up with photos of me looking like this:
How do you plan on dealing with crying at your wedding? Are you worried about turning into a big sobbing mess?
I’m definitely worried about crying! My game plan is waterproof makeup 
I’m not a crier so I’m not really worried about it.
But waterproof make up is key to anyone who is 
You’ll find that being stared at by guests/being photographed/filmed will really scare the tears away. I always cry at weddings, but didn’t cry at my own. I just couldn’t do it while on display like that!
oh i have the best trick - when you are about to lose it, rub the top part of your mouth with your tongue. I swear it works. Gives you something else to focus on.
Of course it will hold back some small tears (like when i was a BM in a friends wedding) not sure how it works if there is a waterfall waiting to come out!!
I cried so much at my wedding…thank goodness for waterproof mascara! invest in it!
Yes! I’m super worried about this! But I read that the ugly cry face only comes out when you’re trying hard not to cry…so it might just be better to let your tears fall as they wish.
I definitely had ugly cry face on as I walked down the aisle…no tears fell tho, I just bit my lip and tried to keep it together. I kind of wish I had made myself smile, which might have helped keep the tears away! Hopefully the pictures don’t look as unattractive as I fear.
I thought I would cry at my wedding, but I didn’t. I really only cry if I see other people doing it, and thankfully my husband held it together or I’m sure I would have lost it.
Hahaha! Ugly-cry-face is the worst!
I teared up when I first started to walk and in one picture I look miserable. During our vowels I started to get choked up and you can see on our video my husband looking at me and mouthing “Breathe”. He thinks it’s funny - luckily I pulled it together by the end.
I’m really worried about the ugly cry face making an appearance, hoping the water proof makeup will help!
Okay, I cry at every.single.little.thing, so I have mastered not looking like a mad women while crying in public.
Rule One: Yes, waterproof mascara helps….but that will not stop eyeliner, eyeshadow, foundation or blush from running off your face. Wear as little make-up as possible, I recommend false eyelashes with good glue and good lipstick/gloss. This way you will not be worrying about your make-up running. If you are truly worried, run a make-up test: Put on the make-up you plan to wear for your wedding and go watch/read something that will make you cry. Then go look at your face. Repeat until you look just as glamorous pre-cry as post cry.
Rule Two: Pretty handkerchiefs, maybe even embroidered ones with your new monogram. These are just as effective for blotting tiny tears as sopping up the water works and in those high res pictures, they will look a lot better than a tissue. Added bonus, something you can give to your kids one day an an heirloom. Embroidered handkerchiefs are part of my engagement or shower gift to every bride, I consider them a staple of looking good while bawling.
Rule Three: As others have said, don’t fight the tears, let them flow, scrunchy-cry-face happens when you are suppressing. Assign a Cry Buddy, that can be Mr. Knitting or an attendant, but someone who will make you laugh while you are crying, making your tears look jovial and happy instead of sob-tastic. I have had ones for when I go and see a bummer movie I know I will weep through, someone who can lean over and say “You know, I think that extra just picked his nose!” It will always help the tears come out without the sobbing.
Rule Four: BREATHE! Seriously, you will turn red and hyperventilate and faint if you don’t. Remember: a conscious bride is a happy bride.
Believe me when I tell you it is not fun to cry a lot in public (which I do, and have done in the face of cameras and on stage) but you do become good at avoiding looking like it’s raining on prom night.
Certain parts of wedding planning has already made me cry so I’m definitely going to be a complete disaster on our wedding day. I, too, am not an attractive crier. My eyes get all red and I get red blotches on my face that don’t go away for like an hour. FANTASTIC!
Ummmm, how about the old trick of picturing your audience (guests) naked? Even if it doesn’t stop the tears, at least you’ll be smiling.
First of all, who didn’t sob during “Time Traveler’s Wife”? Fabulous book. I would also look for a pretty antique hankie so you can dab as needed without having balls of icky kleenex. My other thought (or what I keep telling myself, as my wedding is in four days), is to just smile. It will be the happiest day of your life thus far because you will be married. Think about the good, good, good and ignore the other criers. Look into Mr. Knitting’s eyes and smile the biggest smile you have.
I have to admit that I’m pretty terrified of crying as well! And let me just express my joy in finding that someone else cried so hysterically while reading The Time Traveler’s Wife (well not happy that you cried, just that I’m not alone) My lovely fiance still makes fun of how upset I get when reading that book or watching the movie. You’d think my dog had just died or something!
I am not looking forward to my ugly cry face, but there’s no way to avoid it!
I will be a giant ball of emotion too! Other than the obvious carry tissues and wear waterproof make-up…I am just going to focus on how happy I am, breathe and smile through the tears, so at least if I have tears streaming down my face, I will look so happy - and not have the ugly cry face!
I’m very worried about because I don’t usually cry and I cried when he proposed and haven’t cried since not even when I went dress shopping.
A good trick I would think is to just close your eyes and breathe because those make gorgeous pictures.
I am so nervous!!!! I can not even watch shows like My Fair wedding, Platinum Brides…. Absolutely no shows of relationships ( breaking up or getting together). Im certain I will have an awful photo
I def had the “I’m about to cry look” on my face as I walked up the aisle, but I managed to push the tears away. A very good thing because I am an ugly crier and it’s def not pretty.
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Mrs. Knitting, Toronto Age and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD Candidate Engagement Date: October 2009 Wedding Date: December 2010 Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
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