Dress Regret

Dress Regret

October 26th, 2010 @ 9:39 am by Ms. Sloth
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I’m not surprised. In fact, I kind of knew that this would happen.

I’m having second thoughts about my dress, the Enzoani Caymen. (I can’t tell you how it pains me to type “Caymen” when the correct spelling is, of course, “Cayman.”)

Personal Photo

It’s simple. It’s beautiful. It fits like a dream. But the more I think about it, the more I think that I want something more unique, more quirky. Something less formal and sophisticated, and more sweet and romantic.

I keep coming back to the first dress I bought, the $150 prom dress from David’s Bridal.

Dress Regret : wedding philadelphia wedding dress Dress dress

“Remember Me?”

I think that if this dress was shortened to knee length and altered into a sweetheart neckline, and if some of the extra lace from the bottom was used to make fluttery sleeves, it would be just adorable.

And now I’m not sure what to do. My mother was so excited to buy me my gown, and she put down the deposit on my dress. Now if it was my money, I wouldn’t feel so bad about scrapping the gown and possibly losing the deposit, but I don’t like the idea of playing fast and loose with mom’s dough. Even if I pay her back for the potentially lost deposit, she’ll be annoyed—there’s nothing my mother hates more than wasting money. And since the dress I ordered from the shop was a floor sample, I doubt we’ll be able to get the deposit back.

If I had no conscience, no sense of right or wrong, I’d call up the dress shop, fake crying, to tell them that the wedding is off because of some horrible tragedy. But I’m a bad liar, and I don’t want to introduce any bad juju into my wedding planning.

So maybe I’m stuck. Maybe I can wear the big, formal gown for the ceremony and change into the ruffled dress for the reception. Maybe I can find someone who would buy the Enzoani from me. Maybe…I just don’t know.

Did you have dress regret? Did you stick with your original dress or look for something new?

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57 Responses to “Dress Regret”

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Guest

Christine

I never really had dress regret, so much as the feeling that there were other dresses out there that I would have, could have liked better. BUT I stuck with my dress, probably because I didn’t have the time to play around with other options (our whole planning period was only six months). My indecisiveness and waffling is one of the reasons why I wanted the short engagement. A long one would have meant too much time to change my mind. It is especially difficult while I was planning other parts of the wedding and reading lots of blogs for inspiration. There are just too many dresses out there.

I do like your idea though of shortening the second (first?) dress and using it as a reception dress. Sounds like a win/win.

10/26/10 @ 9:47 am (reply)

Member

ms.moonlight (message) 209 posts, Helper bee

If the prom dress feels right and sets a mood for you that you want to have, will your mom understand? You have a little time to try and sell/recoup losses on the Enzoani. Or you could do the 2 dress thing and sell either/both after to recover the extra expense. I think the key is that you feel comfortable with what you wear. The cost can (probably) be recovered.
I think many brides have a fear of choosing the “wrong” dress. The good news is that there is no right or wrong, just how you feel. I say, let that be your guide. Good luck!

10/26/10 @ 9:48 am (reply)

Guest

Annette

Have you ever considered wearing the first gown for the ceremony and the second gown for like the second half of the reception (after the first dance, around cake cutting time)? I know many brides do this and it’s always a huge WOW factor.

I personally think that while the second dress is pretty, the first dress looks absolutely stunning on your figure and makes you look super princessy! And when else in your life will you get to go all out and look like a full on princess hm?? (not saying that you wouldn’t in the second dress! just the second is a bit more casual) I also think the second dress could get some airtime again like at evening parties and such as it looks less formal than the first - so I say take advantage of this and wear them both!

10/26/10 @ 9:50 am (reply)

Member

flamingred (message) 1,921 posts, Buzzing bee

The second dress is really pretty and very flattering, but I really think the first dress is more you. And if you are making fluttery sleeves it’s extra you. Sorry, I know that doesn’t help.

10/26/10 @ 9:56 am (reply)

Member

XxMyXxDecemberXx (message) 347 posts, Helper bee

I had a dress regret too… It was a $150 off the rack dress my mom bought for me. I’m thinking of getting it altered to tea length and wearing it for the reception. My fiance and I already went somewhere else and got a new dress. My reception dress is much more laidback, IMO. and my ceremony dress is much more “fancy” so to speak. I plan on changing into it after all the “traditional” stuff and since I want a late wedding, I plan on doing all the traditional stuff first so I know that most of them of them will leave (hate to say, but I want to play techno and it’s not my family’s style) lol.

10/26/10 @ 9:56 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Locket (message) 2,837 posts, Sugar bee

I say wear them both!! I think that would give you the best of both worlds…you could wear the formal one to the ceremony and the other to the reception. It will be much easier to party in too!

10/26/10 @ 9:56 am (reply)

Member

hzleys100 (message) 175 posts, Blushing bee

i honestly like the first picture better… the prom one is not as flattering on you. It looks nice but the other one is SOOO nice… why dont you add something to make the first one more unique?? like a black flower in your hair or a black and crystal broach or something on the dress? put a black flower in the corner or something??

10/26/10 @ 9:56 am (reply)

Member

XxMyXxDecemberXx (message) 347 posts, Helper bee

and PS: I think both dresses are awesome, so I know I don’t help any. I think you should wear both.

10/26/10 @ 9:57 am (reply)

Member

DianaLynn (message) 197 posts, Blushing bee

I definitely think you should wear both! One for the ceremony, one for the reception…or change part of the way into the reception so you have a cute and comfortable dress to exit in.

10/26/10 @ 10:07 am (reply)

10.

Member

ktbrady (message) 1,054 posts, Bumble bee

I don’t know you in real life, but I don’t get a sense that the first one is you. It’s pretty on you, yes, but I think the other one suits your personality more. And I think that says a LOT. My moms kept trying to put me in a dress that was really gorgeous, but I wanted gorgeous and fun and whimsical. And I knew I was right. So, choose what will make you feel HAPPY on your wedding day, and don’t settle!

10/26/10 @ 10:08 am (reply)

11.

Member

PumpkinSpiceChai (message) 385 posts, Helper bee

I love the Enzoani on you. You know when you see a picture of a bride in a dress and think, “Wow, she picked the perfect dress for her body! That’s the one.” Yeah… that pretty much sums it up.

I love the idea of wearing the other dress later in your reception and leaving. It’s the best of both worlds!

10/26/10 @ 10:11 am (reply)

12.

Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 2,157 posts, Buzzing bee

I like the Enzoani better. It looks fab on you. I would worry a bit about how altering the other one would turn out. However, I would try altering the other since it’s only $150 and then you could use for your dress for the dancing party of the reception or if you made it short it might be a fab rehersal dinner dress which might be able to be worn on your honeymoon also.

10/26/10 @ 10:12 am (reply)

13.

Guest

gardenwarrior

I’m on dress number 4 and banned from looking by all who know me. I didn’t care about the dress at first, so I bought one off Craigslist that wasn’t perfect, but was okay. Then, I realized that I wasn’t going to lose a rib anytime soon so it wouldn’t fit and I bought one at a yardsale for $60. It fit like a dream, but I thought it was too plain for my wedding. I bought a third at David’s Bridal… mainly because it had pockets. I tried on a fourth and fell in love with it… but not the price tag. I kept thinking about it and, after a friend dropped $10K on a custom gown, decided it was worth it. I think the trick is to go with your gut. You will be the only one who has to feel confident in it on your wedding day and, if you’re anything like me, your true feelings will come out in all your pictures. Love it or leave it, I say. Good luck!

10/26/10 @ 10:13 am (reply)

14.

Member

arclee (message) 533 posts, Busy bee

Maybe call the store and ask about returning? The worst they can do is tell you that you’d lose the deposit. But its possible you’d like the first one more with some quirky accessories. And I’d say definitely shorten the 2nd dress and wear it for the reception- you already have it!

10/26/10 @ 10:13 am (reply)

15.

Guest

ampheres

Wear the first one for your ceremony with some brightly colored dyed tulle/crinoline underneath. You can probably have the hemline altered so it peaks out from underneath. Then use those same colors (you can do more than one) for accents in your hair/jewelry/waistline (not all three! pick one, maybe two).

10/26/10 @ 10:22 am (reply)

16.

Member

crayfish (message) 4,844 posts, Honey bee

From everything else you’ve posted, the second dress (the prom dress) looks so much more like “you”. The other one just feels….too much like you bought it because it fit, instead of because you love it. It doesn’t have the individual personality that the other dress has. I did this too….and ended up going with the dress that felt more like “me”

10/26/10 @ 10:36 am (reply)

17.

Member

October4040 (message) 118 posts, Blushing bee

I had MAJOR dress regret after I bought mine about 8 months before the wedding. I cried for days, even though I only spent $180 on the dress I would have felt awful if I went out and bought another one because we were on a strict budget. I sort of remade my dress to fit my personality better (adding accessories, etc), and I can admit now that I loved my dress on my wedding day. I even got compliments on it, which was amazing to me since I had dress regret for basically 8 months! I’m glad I stuck to my original one and didn’t shell out money for a new one.

10/26/10 @ 10:44 am (reply)

18.

Member

Aleanan (message) 258 posts, Helper bee

I had terrible dress regret….I found my dress in a boutique and found it for a lesser price on ebay…the only catch is that i am 5′10 and the dress isn’t made for tall girls like moi.
So…I sucked it up. I didn’t look at the dress for a LONG, LONG time (well…3 months). Then one day I put it on…and I fell in love again dispite it being a bit short.
There was a reason you liked the dress (though you didn’t love it) in the first place.
I would say hang on to it for a while. And go ahead and get the fun ruffle dress!

10/26/10 @ 10:45 am (reply)

19.

Member

tilleyana (message) 7 posts, Newbee

I also struggled to decide between a dress that was classic, flattering, and very ‘Bridey’ and one that just felt more oh I don’t know…personally identifiable? My mom definitely was influencing my decision more in the classic/bridey direction and I almost convinced myself that in the future I would look back and be happier with the more traditional dress. I slept on it and decided that at the end of the day, I just gotta be ME. While the Caymen [SIC] is so lovely on you and will undoubtedly make you a beautiful, classic bride, you just look so happy in the second dress (this is what tipped my decision as well). And I think with your suggested alterations - perfect! I agree with the others who suggest to go the two dress route. Win win!

10/26/10 @ 10:51 am (reply)

20.

Guest

aggee

wear both! here’s my totally random two cents…I don’t think that the wedding day is just the bride’s day. People (like moms) may want to be involved somehow because they love us. Perhaps, we ought to let them, because we love them. So, if it means that I have the reception at a place I don’t love but I know my family & FI’s family will, then I have the reception where they’ll be happy. Likewise, that might mean wearing a dress that thrills your mom to pieces…and wear the dress you love at the reception.