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I did not want a cake. In fact, I still don’t really care either way. Cakes are really expensive and I haven’t been to many weddings where the cake was something to shake a stick about. I’ve noticed most guests don’t even eat the cake because they are too busy cutting a rug. I’d be a happy girl if all our guests were too busy boogieing down to notice the small slice of delight on their plate. Don’t get me wrong, I love cake—almost as much as I love lamp.
In order to save money I wanted to cut the cake. No not cut cut the cake—I wanted to not purchase one. Part of my decision making process might have also been that I was worried someone was going to bump into the cake and knock it over.
But then, just then, I saw it, the most divine miracle that could have ever occurred:
a Gregg’s Chocolate sheet cake. Eating a Gregg’s cake to me is like being Ralphie and finally receiving the Red Ryder BB gun on Christmas morning. Gregg’s chocolate cake is better than beer, birthdays, & Marshall’s combined. If you ever visit Rhode Island, do yourself a favor and order a Gregg’s chocolate cake.
Then I found out The Biltmore offers flambe- flaming fancy flambe. My chocolatey cake sweater began to unravel quickly. The flambe would be memorable and easy. It’s already at The Biltmore so I don’t have to worry about it tipping over on the way to the venue. Oh it was perfection. It was another thing I could cross off of my list. It was perfect.
When I told Zeb that we were nixing the cake altogether…he didn’t agree. He wanted a cake and not just a small one to cut at the reception. He wanted a centerpiece cake. How could I deny my groom the one thing he asked for? I couldn’t. So then the search for a cake was on.
The one thing I wasn’t sad about: CAKE TASTINGS! Woot.
I have no idea what “I love lamp” means or is from or the context or anything… but without context, it’s probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Like, snortably funny.
Enjoy cake tasting! I never loved cake, but the tastings were pretty awesome. 
Omg spaniel, you must watch Anchorman!
Zebra…that cake looks divine!
omg love A Christmas Story - enjoy those tastings lady!
Cake tasting - YUM! Can’t wait to hear about it. Serious deliciousness.
“Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?”
It might be the most quotable film ever, just saying.
Well, I understand your lack of love for the centerpiece cake price tag, but I think you have a good attitude and I’m sure you and grooms will find something you both love
Dear Miss Zebra,
I am very disappointed that you are not purchasing an “I love lamp” wedding cake. Please get on this a.s.a.p., or I will never forgive you.
Kind regards,
Beluga
Its ok Zebra, I love lamp too.
We are skipping the cake. Ice Cream sunday bar all the way!
That chocolate cake looks sooooooooooo delicious! How could you pass THAT up?!?!?!?! The flambe is an awesome idea though…and definately memorable. Good luck!
Cae tasting was so fun! Can’t wait to see where you look! We went to about 5 places in RI.
That chocolate cake looks amazing! I wish I had a slice of it right now! And for the record, I love lamp.
Same happened to me too… I didn’t care one way or another what we had for dessert. But this was one of the few things my fiance was sure he wanted - a traditional, 3-layer wedding cake! So funny the things they end up caring about…
@Mrs. Spaniel: Do yourself a favor and watch Anchorman. You’ll have one-liners for years to come.
@luli29: It is absolutely amazing. Hands down, best cake ever.
@Rubies: Indeedy do. Just you wait and see what we were able to get.
@Beluga: Haha well that would be better than the mullet cake Zeb wanted. (Formal in the front, party in the back) Yes it was as awful as it sounds.
@Cant pick a date: MMMM That sounds delicious!
@futureadamson: I don’t know why it was so easy to pass up. It was a very out of character decision on my part.
@ilovepretzels: I’m glad its not something crazy that he stood up for. :0)
According to my computer, this cake is so good, it can’t take it. Must make a pit stop when I go North in December. What’s a few hours for good cake?
P.S. If you’re talking better than Bud, Coors, or Miller; we need to have a talk.
I am kind of with you- we are doing a small centerpiece cake for us to cut and then a few others for guests to choose from. Ie: strawberry shortcake, german chocolate, rum cake, angel food, pound cake, carrot cake, etc…
@TheFutureMcBride: Better than Guinness and Sam Summer. If it tasted better than Miller than you have a whole spectrum beginning with goat piss.
@Miss Zebra: Exactly! The regular domestic beers. Blah!
[...] Oh, indeed I did. Hearing those three glorious words baked into one delicious and unthinkably amazing sentence solidified who we were going to use as a cake baker after Zeb requested a cake. [...]
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Mrs. Zebra, Providence, RI Age and Occupation: 24 Marketing/Costume Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26 Management/Firefighter Engagement Date: December 12, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2011 Venue: The Providence Biltmore About Me: I'm a small town New England girl with an affinity for procrastination, crossing the proverbial line, and putting her foot in her mouth. I'm a lover of history, all seasons, sewing and Incubus. I design costumes on the side for my old high school's theatre department, which is where I met my sexy man. Our motto for our Big Fat Lebanese/Portuguese/Irish near-300 person wedding is "the more the merrier"! We are marrying in a Catholic ceremony and are hammering out the details of our Victorian-inspired reception.
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