Weddingbee Blog

It’s hard for me to come up with posts for Weddingbee, as I am the only bee that I know of who has documented her divorce process after blogging for well over a year about wedding plans. Several bees have also sadly gone through divorce, but are now writing about their “encore” weddings (high five to them!). As the lone bee who has opened up about a failed marriage after blogging about all things wedding-related, it can be a bit strange to try and figure out where I fit in here.

I am now in a healthy and happy relationship with Pete and we are already almost coming up on our one year anniversary. I can’t even begin to explain how nice it is to be in a relationship that is free of emotional abuse. I’ve read a lot of posts on the boards that make divorce out to be terrifying and something you should only do if you’ve been physically abused, and certainly not if you haven’t even been married for at least a year. No one is a fan of divorce, but to stay in an unhealthy relationship with no hope rather than admit that things have failed, is not good for either parties.

I am a huge romantic and always envisioned myself getting married and living happily ever after. I have nothing but respect for marriage and what it represents, but I had to make the decision to have more respect for myself and admit that I was not happy in any sense of the word.

Being a 26-year-old divorced woman is full of its fair share of awkward encounters. Despite dressing my age, I am often mistaken for an 18-year-old when out in public (it isn’t uncommon for me to get carded for an R-rated movie). So when I first tell people I am divorced, I am sure their initial reaction is, “are you even old enough to get married?” Recent awkward divorce encounter #1 (I’ll be sure to share more in the future): When I went to change my name back to my maiden name on my driver’s license, the employee at the photo ID desk congratulated me on my engagement right before asking me to smile for my photo. When he asked where my engagement ring was, I had to explain that I wasn’t making the switch to my married name, I was going back to my maiden name due to divorce. Nothing makes me “say cheese!” more than having to discuss my divorce at the DMV in front of a dozen staring strangers. Alas, it comes with the territory and I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to see my maiden name on my driver’s license for the first time in two years.

After this entire experience, I have realized that getting married doesn’t always make a relationship successful. Divorce is an ending, but it is also a beginning. I’ve been a hundred times happier during this past year and although being “the divorced girl” isn’t necessarily something to be proud of, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know I don’t have much to contribute with wedding planning ideas, but I feel that it’s important for me to continue to have a presence on Weddingbee, as I have grown immensely throughout this whole process. I’d like to be able to lend an open ear to anyone who has gone through separation, divorce or is in the middle of couples counseling and just needs someone to listen. Please don’t hesitate to message me. I adore Weddingbee and am so thankful to have such an amazing support group within the hive.

Are there any posts you’d like to see from me in the future about marriage? I’m running low on post ideas that won’t bum everyone out! <3