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Mrs. Cupcake, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 27, Graphic Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Construction Project Manager Engagement Date: February 10, 2007 Wedding Date: September, 2008 Blogging Since: December 7, 2007 Venue: The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA About Me: Mr. Cupcake and I hit it off at a Halloween party and immediately began a long-distance relationship. After two years, he moved to my neck of the woods, and a year and a half after that, he proposed at the “place we fell in love.” I am a true perfectionist who enjoys designing and creating more work for myself, so wedding planning is my perfect outlet. Mr. Cupcake and I are both old souls, and we hope to weave that aspect of our personalities into our wedding day.
About Mrs. Cupcake

It was almost three years ago that I started blogging here, and with the honor of being a bee came friendships, career changes, and general awesomeness that has changed my life for the better. As silly as I used to think blogging was, it has become something I really love, and I have Weddingbee to thank for the introduction to blog-land in the first place.

I’ve been fairly quiet over the last year or so since, you know, I’m no longer planning a wedding and all; while I still hang around the hive from time-to-time, I thought that it is high time I bid a proper adieu to Weddingbee. Mr. Cupcake and I recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary in September, and it struck us both that the last two years have flown by so quickly, it’s difficult to grasp the concept that we’re not quite newlyweds anymore—we are now full-fledged marrieds. Who’d have thunk it!

A Fond Farewell (And Reflections from a No-Longer-Newlywed) :  wedding philadelphia relationships Brooke  at a family wedding the weekend after our second anniversary

The last two years have brought both unwelcome and welcome changes to our relationship and our new life together.

Mr. Cupcake got laid off shortly after we got married, and then went back to work after a long 10 months of searching. I then decided to continue the craziness in our lives by quitting my job and starting a new business, Curious & Company, with a few colleagues, which included launching a line of letterpress wedding stationery called Claremont Collection. It has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

Through all of the excitement over the last few years, Mr. Cupcake has been the best cheerleader I could have ever asked for. While he’s always been 100% supportive of everything I do, there is just something about being married that makes it a little different from before—it makes his unending support all that much sweeter. While I know that we’ll always love each other, it’s comforting to sit back and realize how much we really like each other, too. We genuinely have fun together and just enjoy being partners in life. We continue to perfect our relationship day by day, and work together to set goals for ourselves—we hope to be able to buy a home soon, and someday have some mini Cupcakes to turn our world upside-down. Whatever happens, we’re excited for the ride.

In addition to all of the life changes happening around me, I still often catch up on Weddingbee and other wedding blogs; now that I’ve totally moved on from wedding planning madness, I often think about how I might have done things differently. I don’t regret a single thing about our day, but it is a lot easier to put things in perspective when I read about the million details that future brides are juggling and I remember the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. There are a few words of wisdom this no-longer-newlywed would love to impart on all of you brides-to-be, if I may:

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. I know that’s probably the most overused mantra in the world and you may want to throw something at the computer screen when you read that, but it’s true. I see brides fretting over if their guy should wear an ivory shirt to match their ivory dress (advice: a white shirt on him will look crisper and cleaner in photos, and no one will notice or care that you don’t totally match!), or being upset that the pink on their invitations doesn’t exactly match the pink linens that will be on the tables, and I just want to hug each one and tell her that everything will be alright. Ladies, I have been that extremely detail-oriented bride, and it’s exhausting. There is nothing wrong with caring about the details, but don’t drive yourself crazy over them. Decide what’s important, accept that you may need to be flexible about everything else, and then embrace the imperfections that will make your day uniquely YOURS. I promise that as long as your guests are having a good time, they really aren’t concerned about the multiple shades of pink. I. Prom. Ise.
  • Go with your gut and do things your way. Stick to your guns. If something is important to you, don’t let anyone tell you that it’s silly, or not sticking with tradition, or too trendy. Who cares if something is silly, or not sticking with tradition, or too trendy if you and your FI love it and it makes you happy? Your guests won’t care if every couple getting married this year has a photo booth, because chances are they’re not going to every other wedding happening this year. If your family wants you to have a big wedding but you know deep down that you’re a small wedding kind of girl, figure out a way to make it happen. While your day is about family and having the people you love around you, it is also about you and the love of your life, and you should have the wedding that best reflects who you are.
  • Wear comfortable underthings on your wedding day. I’m so serious. Test those lacy white lovelies out before committing to wearing them for an entire day under what is probably a heavy dress that does not easily lend itself to, ahem, picking. I look back on our wedding day very lovingly, as it truly was one of the best days of my life…but I also have yet to forget the fact that for 100% of the time that I was partying it up on the dance floor, I had a wedgie and those dainty white undies I had chosen were the culprit. It was highly annoying and there was nothing I could do about it. And now all of the internetz knows it. But I’m okay with that if it saves even one bride from the wrath of uncomfortable undies on her wedding day.
  • Know and accept that you can’t have all of the perfect pictures. Photography is certainly a big deal on your wedding day, and having photos to remember your day by are totally worth the expense. But I think the internet has jaded us all a little, and we think that every amazing photo can (and should) be duplicated for our own day. The reality is: it’s impossible to have it all. Yes, you should hire a photographer who you love and trust with capturing a very important day in your life, and the photos they take may well be the only physical things from your wedding that you have to look back on in 30 years. But you’ll also have the memories, and the spouse, and at the end of the day it’s okay if the photographer didn’t get every single shot that you envisioned. Love the photos you have and be excited that the unscripted moments you never imagined could occur were captured, just for you.

I’m sure I could go on for days, but I’ll spare you. Ultimately, no matter what little unexpected surprises pop up while wedding planning or on your wedding day, just know that there are many, many more days in your future to be spent with the person you love the most in the world…and they will absolutely outweigh any unplanned bumps in the road that may occur on the day you say “I do.” Marriage is an amazing ride, and your wedding day is only the beginning.

Hive, thank you so much for reading (this post and the many that came before it) and for being such an amazing community of people who have made me feel so loved. If you’re ever so inclined to keep up with the happenings in my life, I have happily continued blogging over at my new internet home, Claremont Road. I’d love for you to visit, anytime.

Love always,

Mrs. Cupcake

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56 Responses to “A Fond Farewell (And Reflections from a No-Longer-Newlywed)”

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1.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Great advice, Cupcake! And, I am a huge fan of your invitation line. :)

 
2.
Mrs. Barrettes
Bee
Mrs. Barrettes (message)  883 posts, Busy bee

Great post, Cupcake! I’m 3 weeks out from our wedding, but your pearls of wisdom speak to me. I’m waiting to see our professional photos and you have certainly calmed the crazy. Thank You =)

 
3.
His Lil SantosGirl
Member
His Lil SantosGirl (message)  759 posts, Busy bee

I loved reading this. Especially since i completely understand where you are coming from. Except I lost my job about two years ago and it was my SO now fiancé that encouraged me to start my own graphic design business.. he too was truly my one and only cheerleader & now i’m engaged to him and living in Hawai’i running my own business.

The “like” is so important in a relationship as well. We sometimes forget that “forever” part and rush right into thinking all the moments with be bright and romantic and sunny, when really, most the moments are just monotonous. When you have someone you like being with, life becomes ten times more fun .. thanks so much for pointing that out in your blog Mrs. Cupcake.

 
4.
MrsSl82be
Member
MrsSl82be (message)  7,970 posts, Bee Keeper

Great post, sad to see you go, but will have to catch up on your blog. :)

 
5.
Miss Zebra
Bee
Miss Zebra (message)  1,044 posts, Bumble bee

Awww we’re going to miss you Mrs. Cupcake! Thank you for the stellar advice.

 
6.
Mrs. Penguin
Bee
Mrs. Penguin (message)  3,506 posts, Sugar bee

Took the words about photography right outta my mouth girl! Wise words from a wise lady. It’s been a pleasure meeting/knowing you through weddingbee and you know I’m right there with ya on your personal blog! Best of luck with your stationery line, and kudos to you for following your dream and being your own boss!!!

 
7.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Hippo (message)  1,008 posts, Bumble bee

Great post, Cupcake!

 
8.
jordynrose
Member
jordynrose (message)  6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

Great advice! I second the underthings! You can always change into fancier ones at the end of the evening. During the wedding, aim for comfort!

 
9.
Miss Giraffe
Bee
Miss Giraffe (message)  4,216 posts, Honey bee

Oh, Cupcake, this was a great post! Thanks for the tops. I loved loved loved following your wedding and seeing all your amazing details. Thank you so much for sharing so much with the hive!

Congrats and your anniversary and I hope the next one is just as sweet!

 
10.
photographernico
Member
photographernico (message)  527 posts, Busy bee

Sad to see you go from WB, but I’ll continue to follow on the next blog!

 
11.
PitBulLover
Member
PitBulLover (message)  8,314 posts, Bee Keeper

Seriously great post and I agree with all of your tips! I think the internet has jaded us a LOT when it comes to wedding planning - and it can turn a sane woman into a crazy bride really quickly! Thank you for putting things in perspective again :-)

 
12.
MissHelen
Member
MissHelen (message)  2,440 posts, Buzzing bee

Wonderful advice. THANK YOU for the undies tip! I’m pretty sure you just saved me a couple of hours of awkwardness.

 
13.
Mrs. Hermit Crab
Bee
Mrs. Hermit Crab (message)  3,562 posts, Sugar bee

Thank you thank you thank you!

 
14.
bellenga
Hostess
bellenga (message)  7,536 posts, Bee Keeper

Thank you for the wonderful advice and I might add, you look so beautiful! Congratulations to you and Mr. C on the 2nd anniversary! I’ll go and check out your new website!

Wishing you both all the happiness in the world :)

 
15.
Whimsical.Sprite
Member
Whimsical.Sprite (message)  828 posts, Busy bee

Adios Cupcake. . . you’ll be missed :-)

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
KathyL

You were one of the first bees that I followed (stalked really) every single day. I loved everything about you and your wedding!! Good luck in all you do in life, you do it with such grace. God Bless You!! Thank you.

 
17.
EAQ219
Member
EAQ219 (message)  1,448 posts, Bumble bee

Awww this made me tear up! Why? I have no idea. I read your personal blog already so I know this isn’t the last I’ll hear from you. But when I came into the Hive back in July 2008 you were only a few months from your wedding. I remember reading about how close you were and thinking about how far I still was (22 months to be exact). Now that I’ve gone through planning and the wedding, I would give the exact same advice as you. You’re definitely one of the wisest Bees out there and I hope all of the girls still in the planning stages listen to your advice. See you over at Claremont Road!

 
18.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Earrings (message)  2,477 posts, Buzzing bee

Just the kind of post I needed to read today :) Thankyou! Especially about the photography bit because I have been agonising over the “perfect” shots and your post has helped me realise that sometimes things arent worth agonising over. Also- ha! The wedgie bit made me laugh :)
I have loved reading your posts Mrs Cupcake, and will definitely miss u!

 
19.
Miss Elephant
Bee
Miss Elephant (message)  6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

Wonderful advice Mrs. Cupcake! Congrats on 2 years and your new line of invitations. Even though most of your blogging was before I found the site, I have gone back and read all of your posts (I think part of it dealt with the fact that I grew up in Exton, PA which was very close to your wedding).

Best wishes!!

 
20.
codydidwhat
Member
codydidwhat (message)  132 posts, Blushing bee

Awww, sad to see you actually write a goodbye! But I LOVE your new stationary line, and best of luck with everything ahead of you!

 
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Mrs. Cupcake
Mrs. Cupcake

Mrs. Cupcake, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 27, Graphic Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Construction Project Manager Engagement Date: February 10, 2007 Wedding Date: September, 2008 Blogging Since: December 7, 2007 Venue: The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA About Me: Mr. Cupcake and I hit it off at a Halloween party and immediately began a long-distance relationship. After two years, he moved to my neck of the woods, and a year and a half after that, he proposed at the “place we fell in love.” I am a true perfectionist who enjoys designing and creating more work for myself, so wedding planning is my perfect outlet. Mr. Cupcake and I are both old souls, and we hope to weave that aspect of our personalities into our wedding day.

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