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Mrs. Buttons, Clearwater, FL Age and Occupation: 24, "Working on it" Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Financial Services Engagement Date: June 13, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: Carlouel Yacht Club About Me: I'm a self proclaimed perfectionist and a professional nomad (seriously, I've lived in TX, WI, MI, FL, NC, and now VA!). I love wine, cooking, curling up with a good book (nerd alert!), spoiling the furbaby, and of course, the wonderful Mr. Buttons! We are planning a lighthearted and whimsical wedding (with a good deal of DIY projects) in Clearwater, Florida, but from a distance of 800 miles away! We are looking forward to sharing our day with our family and friends, and most importantly, starting our lives together as husband and wife!
About Mrs. Buttons

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail

November 3rd, 2010 @ 4:27 pm by Mrs. Buttons

OK hive, I promise that this will be the only depressing post in my recaps. Promise!

I am a big big big fan of first looks. I love that they have become popular in the past few years. For me, they can be some of my favorite photos that I’ve seen from other weddings. Having that “first look” moment between bride and groom was something I valued highly, and is precisely why we scheduled over 2 hours of time for the first look and bridal party photos, as well as additional time at our venue before the ceremony to take family portraits.

Needless to say, as I rode down the hotel elevator after putting on my dress, I was excited about our first look. Our photographer was aware that we were doing a first look, but aside from that I hadn’t been explicit on the details. In retrospect, I probably should have laid it out very specifically. On the wedding day, I was so pumped full of excitement and energy that I kind of switched to a “go with the flow” attitude and wasn’t able to react properly when things weren’t set up in the way I had hoped.

I’ll lay it out for you. As the elevator doors opened, I walked into the hotel lobby. I was concerned about Mr. Buttons’ location; I was hoping that our 2nd photographer had him set up and ready for our first look. Instead, this is what was waiting for me…

*All photos courtesy of Pilster Photography

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa 1 1

Apparently, Mr. Buttons was taking a “nap,” if you will. The photographers gestured at me…telling me to go wake him up with a kiss. Um…that was absolutely not what I had envisioned as a first look…there were end tables and chairs blocking all sides of the couch he was sitting on. I wasn’t able to get a clear path to my groom. I remember mildly protesting this idea, saying that there wasn’t enough space for me. However, I was also on “go with the flow” mode, so I just did as I was told without thinking too much. And…as a result, I present to you our first look…

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa 2 2

Hello there, random guy in the background…

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa 3 3

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa 4 4

Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa 5 5

Yep. That’s it. In the first photo you can see the big smile on Mr. Buttons’ face as I woke him up. However, where are the photos of the groom taking in how beautiful his bride looks as she twirls around? Or his reaction when I finally was able to show him the gown I had selected almost a year prior for our big day? There are no pictures of me sneaking up behind him and tapping him on the shoulder or covering his eyes. All in all: it wasn’t what I had wanted.

I will not lie to you: I am devastated over this. Perhaps I had made out the first look moment to be so much more than it really is…but then I see the awesome first looks from the lovely Mrs. Quiche, Mrs. Cupcake, Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Mrs. Cowboy Boot, Mrs. Hamster, and Mrs. Mouse (the list continues but I won’t do that to you all) and I feel a sense of loss. On the day of the wedding I was not worrying about it; however, after the fact, I feel like I missed out on a moment of my wedding day that I had been looking forward to for months.

So, would I love to have the first look that I imagined during my wedding planning? Yes, indeed. However, the fact remains that the portraits Mr. Buttons and I took afterward are indeed very very lovely. Thankfully, this wasn’t something that upset me on the wedding day itself. And although I am sad about it, I’ve moved on. You win some, you lose some. I’m forging on, and I have learned my lesson: if something is important to you on the wedding day, don’t feel foolish for being extremely specific on what you want…it might be the only way you will get it.

And with that little piece of wedding advice, I am moving onwards and upwards with my wedding recaps…and from here on out, there will be no more mopey Buttons! Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail  :  wedding pictures pro pics recap tampa Icon Wink ;)

Was there a detail involved with your wedding day plans that didn’t turn out like you hoped?

Previously…

Tags: pictures, pro pics, recap, tampa |
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69 Responses to “Lovely Tonight: First Look = Fail”

1 2 3 4 

1.
Guest Icon
Guest
Christine

Ha! I had a similar let down with our first look, although no sleeping groom, thankfully. Instead, I was waiting around in the hotel lobby with my family, and my groom finally arrived (late! late in laws - bad) with his, and instead of some posed moment, he looks perfectly happy and I look happy and OH hi there step MIL hanging out in background with doofy face face while talking to hotel staff. Gah.

Oh well! The rest of the day was perfectly lovely.

 
2.
Guest Icon
Guest
Meghan

The picture of you leaning over him with that big grin on his face is wonderful, even though I know that wasn’t what you wanted, but it is a great picture!

 
3.
kitzy
Member
kitzy (message)  4,224 posts, Honey bee

i would probably feel the same way as you, and i’m sorry it didn’t turn out like you were hoping. that being said, that picture of you waking him up is priceless, and at least you have a funny (or it will be funny one day) story to go along with it!

 
4.
Farfromachildbride
Member
Farfromachildbride (message)  1,006 posts, Bumble bee

Ohhhh, good post. Another bad first look experience with us, too. As we were about to see one another in our B&B stairwell, another bride and her 20 bridesmaids — all loud and obnxious — came out of their room right next to us, yelling and whooping. It TOTALLY ruined the moment. I was really annoyed and upset and said something catty to the group after they yelled “Hey there’s another bride. Look at her.” Really? What gave it away? The white dress? The groom standing next me? Ugh.

 
5.
tocarat
Member
tocarat (message)  324 posts, Helper bee

I see where you are coming from, but I do think the picture of you waking him up is very genuine and precious!! You looked stunning!

 
6.
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Member
crayfish (message)  4,844 posts, Honey bee

My mom didn’t get out of the background of our first look pics, and she seriously looks like an agent coming to arrest us or something. It was before she got dressed up, so she was wearing all black with big black sunglasses, and she’s got this stoney look on her face. Totally ruined. And also a little weird. Luckily I didn’t care very much about that shot! We have so many beautiful portraits that it doesn’t matter!

 
7.
Guest Icon
Guest
kasey at thrifty little vows

Aww, I know it’s not what you wanted… but I love it! Sure, no one tapped anyone on the shoulder, but you got to do something totally unique. Remember, no one can fake falling asleep on the couch!

 
8.
Miss Palmetto
Member
Miss Palmetto (message)  52 posts, Worker bee

Aw I am so sorry you didnt get the shots you wanted! Yes, you could have been more specific, but COME ON PHOTOGRAPHERS have you ever heard of a first look? They are pretty paint-by-numbers and not hard to figure out the staging! Also, did you like your photographers generally, because it seems like most would know how to set up a shot, any shot, regardless of whether it was a “first look.” Sheesh.

 
9.
Guest Icon
Guest
Leann

So wait I am confused. I thought that the groom does not see the bride she walks down the isle. Have things changed is this an old tradition? I thought that walking down the isle was the first time to see each other, i mean the first look thing is a great idea i admittedly really like it.

 
10.
hilsy85
Member
hilsy85 (message)  3,680 posts, Sugar bee

We also had a similarly disappointing first look, in that it wasn’t what I pictured. I wanted it to be just us and the photographers. Instead, DH was standing with his back to me, facing his 3 groomsmen who were watching me awkwardly as I walked up behind him. And for some reason, we don’t really have any shots of his face or my face when we first see each other. But oh well, I’m really happy with our formal shots together as well. I agree though, I should have been more specific! It never hurts to double and triple check that you’re on the same page with everyone!

 
11.
Tennessee2Carolina
Member
Tennessee2Carolina (message)  433 posts, Helper bee

Sorry about the bad experience with your First Look …but on a good note you LOOKeD AMAZING! And his smile was so sweet when he saw you ! :) We just got finished doing our e-pics to give our Wedding Photographer an “Interview” …I love her! I’m sooo very torn on if we should do the first look or not..we are getting married on a beach in North Carolina and well I just cant make my mind up..because I dont want to miss out on the reception and have to make people wait…etc.. ..aaahh ….TORN TORN TORN!

 
12.
Mrs. Hot Wings
Bee
Mrs. Hot Wings (message)  2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

We had a first look (when I wore my white dress) experience that wasn’t what I wanted too. Stupid groomsmen were all up and blocking Mr HW. I think I’ve got a pissy face in a lot of our photos. Sorry Buttons.

 
13.
kayakgirl73
Member
kayakgirl73 (message)  2,157 posts, Buzzing bee

That stinks about your first loo, althought the picture of you waking him up is quite cute. We didn’t do a first look, I wish we did since the weather got bad later and we have no outside pictures of us as a couple. All I have are church pictures which I didn’t want and they are not that great. We do have some nice candids from the reception and good formal shots of just me.

 
14.
meggyo
Member
meggyo (message)  323 posts, Helper bee

our first look wasn’t what we had planned either. it was in the front of our hotel between two cars, standing over a puddle…haha. i remember thinking, “this is super awkward and not really what we wanted, but whatever” i have yet to see the pictures so i’m hoping the photog did something “artsy” with them? haha.

 
15.
Member Icon
Member
eeper (message)  485 posts, Helper bee

Oh, I think those pics are totally cute! But I hear ya - I went with my typical go with the flow attitude for pictures and I am disappointed in how many pics I don’t have. I envisioned our first look to be alone - but all the groomsmen were there, along with my in-laws!!! Also, I thought it was standard that the photogs would put me with the groomsmen, and the groom with all the girls. NOPE. And it didn’t even cross my mind the day of! We also missed a lot of shots b/c of rain :(

I would definitely recommend having a detailed shot list and emailing it to the photographer!

 
16.
Mrs. Dolphin
Bee
Mrs. Dolphin (message)  503 posts, Busy bee

I completely agree. If you want something be SPECIFIC. I saw a white bridge near our ceremony site and said “This is where IT will happen.” And wha-lah… that is were the first look was. I still think it was super cute that you woke him from his nap. He must have gotten a huge surprise.

P.S.- I didn’t see the random person in the background… till you mentioned it. The pics are beautiful and so much cuter and impromptu.

 
17.
Member Icon
Member
vintage87 (message)  38 posts, Newbee

I’m so sorry you didn’t have the 1st look the way you wanted it. I think the pics are adorable.

 
18.
Kemi82JP
Member
Kemi82JP (message)  749 posts, Busy bee

@Mrs. Dolphin: LOL!!!! totally sidetracked here, but it’s “voila” not “wah-la”! hahahaha i had seen that on here before and it must have been from you, so funny! it’s a french expression, starting with a V, not just a made up noise starting with a W.

anyway. back to first looks. i actually think that the sneaking-up-behind-and-covering-his-eyes is kind of contrived and very very staged. But then, so was this wake-him-up-with-a-kiss situation. The first look should be natural, or as natural as it can be with photographers and sometimes videographers and onlookers around. our first look consisted of me coming around a corner towards my groom, who was facing me and we smiled and said hi and kissed and it felt as natural as it could. also, it’s about both of you seeing each other for the first time on your wedding day, not an opportunity for the bride to bask in how beautiful she wants to be told she looks. but also, you HAVE that look of amazement on his face when he sees you, even if there is no twirling. he is obviously very in love with you in these photos, so even tho they weren’t the way you imagined you still have something very special.

 
19.
Mrs. Hot Wings
Bee
Mrs. Hot Wings (message)  2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

@Kemi82JP: aww. Maybe dolphin didn’t know, but maybe it’s just how some people say it. Some people say “yah” instead of “yes”.

I think a first look can be as natural or unnatural as a couple would like it to be. In my opinion, a first look IS an opportunity to bask in your bridal beauty though. You’ve hidden your look for a long time and it’s you’re showing off your bridal look for the first time. Just as it is for your partner as well… basking in their wedding da gorgeousness as well. Mrs Buttons did express that they were special, but that still doesn’t make it what she had envisioned for herself. To each their own I say, contrived or not.

 
20.
SpicedWine
Member
SpicedWine (message)  26 posts, Newbee

Good point, Kemi82JP. I’m also not a fan of the walk up behind and tap… just seems a little bit “overplayed”. But there are totally things that happend on my wedding day that although I didn’t notice didn’t go the way I had planned on that day, now looking back they still really upset me. Like the “waiting room” was completely full of the chairs we weren’t using for the Reception and I was just squished in a little corner before the ceremony. I wanted to have a peaceful reflection moment but it was more like “get outta the way, bridie, we’ve got some chairs to store in here!”. Didn’t care at the time, but looknig back wish it was different. Mrs Buttons, I say go ahead and be pissed for a little while. It will go away. But allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. BTW - I do love the waking him up photo, MUCH more unique than anything I’ve seen before. ;-)

 
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Mrs. Buttons
Mrs. Buttons

Mrs. Buttons, Clearwater, FL Age and Occupation: 24, "Working on it" Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Financial Services Engagement Date: June 13, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: Carlouel Yacht Club About Me: I'm a self proclaimed perfectionist and a professional nomad (seriously, I've lived in TX, WI, MI, FL, NC, and now VA!). I love wine, cooking, curling up with a good book (nerd alert!), spoiling the furbaby, and of course, the wonderful Mr. Buttons! We are planning a lighthearted and whimsical wedding (with a good deal of DIY projects) in Clearwater, Florida, but from a distance of 800 miles away! We are looking forward to sharing our day with our family and friends, and most importantly, starting our lives together as husband and wife!

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