I Can’t Stress This Enough

I Can’t Stress This Enough

November 4th, 2010 @ 8:37 am by Ms. Sloth
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It’s funny—when people ask me how the wedding planning is going, it’s obvious who hasn’t been through it before. They say “How’s wedding planning? Are you having so much fun?”

Those who have been through it usually say something like, “Ugh, wedding planning. You hanging in there?” They get it. Wedding planning is stressful.

I’m surprised that more brides-to-be don’t lose their freakin’ minds! I mean, here we are, spending thousands of dollars on one day—one day on which we will be heavily scrutinized and judged. Is the dress pretty enough? Is the food good enough? The reception fun enough? Will anyone be offended by our guest list? Our ceremony? Our seating charts? And why are we even GETTING stressed about all of that stuff when all that should matter is that we’re marring our beloved?

The stress isn’t going away. But there are ways that we can deal with it. Everyone has their own methods of stress relief, and I’m going to share some of mine.

I Can't Stress This Enough : wedding counseling philadelphia Psychot Psychot

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Therapy - I’ve mentioned before that I have been seeing a therapist for several years to help deal with my depression. But I am a firm believer that therapy would benefit anyone, even people who don’t have any specific emotional issues. A good therapist is an objective listener who can help you look at your problems in a different and often more logical way. And it’s so cathartic to talk about yourself for an hour every week!

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Venting - Speaking of catharsis, one of the most available stress relievers is just to vent about your problems. Bitch to your girlfriends, complain to your fiance, whine to your mom. Blog about it, if that’s what you’re into. Sometimes, just getting it out is all you need!

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Acupuncture - I recently tried acupuncture because I suffer from chronic back pain, and while it’s too soon to tell if it’s helping with the pain, it’s definitely helping me to relax. I feel like jelly when I leave the clinic! Try it—it doesn’t hurt at all!

What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed by wedding-planning stress?

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15 Responses to “I Can’t Stress This Enough”

Member

HillTX-UK (message) 11 posts, Newbee

I took up the venting approach as my number one coping mechanism and leaned more on my mom than anyone else. I am a pleaser so I didn’t do this as much as I probably should have which resulted in my now husband and mom taking the brunt of a few meltdowns (not too many though)!

I appreciated that people wanted to ask me about the wedding as it was pretty much the biggest thing going on for me at the time. And when I did get the comments from former brides of “ugh, aren’t you so ready for it to be over or just think of the honeymoon” I wanted to say are you kidding I want to enjoy the day even if I’m stressed now…I am looking forward to it even if the result is that I am freaking now. (I did enjoy every minute of it by the way!)
But the thing that drove me ab-so-lutely cah-razy during the planning process is when people seriously starting asking me 4 months into a year long engagement..”so, is everything all planned then?” wtf ??!!??? what bride would be done at that stage? I wanted to say “are you insane? thanks for making me feel worse for not having my S*((^ together!”

anyway, all of the pre-planning stress is behind me and although I had an amazing wedding day that I will remember as being one of the happiest and carefree days of my life I’m not sure I can say the same for what is often pegged to be wedding planning bliss!

11/4/10 @ 9:41 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Ostrich (message) 1,948 posts, Buzzing bee

ahhh, to shoo away my wedding anxieties, i am lucky to have a band of girlfriends who have already lived thru the wedding planning extravaganza and are my therapy trio they are fantastic listeners and always have great bits of advice. i don’t know what i’d do without them

i also have a little inspiration board with my favorite quotes that remind me that it’s not about the details, it’s all about the love. after reading it over a few times…the world is always a better place

11/4/10 @ 10:09 am (reply)

Member

laurenthesmall (message) 109 posts, Blushing bee

I had to laugh when I read the part about how different people phrase the “How’s wedding planning?” question. It’s SO true. All these well-meaning older ladies at church were so surprised to learn that it wasn’t the best time of my life.

Only one of my bridesmaids has gotten married, and it’s definitely easiest to vent to her. By now, though, the rest have figured out that wedding planning is a huge pain.

But it’ll all be worth it! Right?!

11/4/10 @ 10:17 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Octopus (message) 1,446 posts, Bumble bee

Haha, my favorite was when people started asking me when the wedding was still six months away, “you must be just about done with the planning, right?” I never knew how to answer that question without sounding crazy. “Um……NO?!?!?!?!”

11/4/10 @ 11:46 am (reply)

Member

Kemi82JP (message) 749 posts, Busy bee

i’m actually gonna disagree with you on a certain point… i have been thru wedding planning and i still always ask “How’s it going, aren’t you having so much fun??” because I LOVED it! it was super fun for me. yes, stressful at times but nothing to complain about because the fun totally overshaddowed the stress. so i just wanted to point out that just because someone asks that doesn’t mean they haven’t been there

11/4/10 @ 12:10 pm (reply)

Member

jmc (message) 882 posts, Busy bee

Here’s a way to deal: Delete anyone from your guest list that you think will “scrutinize and judge” you. Then go read “my wedding is not a competition” on Offbeatbride.com

You’ll feel a lot better.

11/4/10 @ 12:57 pm (reply)

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I read the Weddingbee boards when I started to stress out. It put a lot of things into perspective because there were plenty of people going through way more serious/stressful/painful situations than me. It made me realize that my situation was not that bad, and I could get through it.

11/4/10 @ 1:29 pm (reply)

Member

anisley (message) 30 posts, Newbee

@Mrs. Octopus I couldn’t agree with you more. Even now, when I about 5 months until the big day, people ask me “Are you done with everything?” I want to scream. “No, I am not done with everything but thank you for asking me”

11/4/10 @ 2:06 pm (reply)

Member

Whimsical.Sprite (message) 828 posts, Busy bee

I combat stress by taking naps… lots of them! Haha.

11/4/10 @ 3:20 pm (reply)

10.

Member

feministbride (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

Yay therapists!!

11/4/10 @ 4:22 pm (reply)

11.

Member

JessersLA (message) 50 posts, Worker bee

Venting to my girlfriends was one of my favorite things to do. Also, yoga and a few Thai massages helped.

11/4/10 @ 4:41 pm (reply)

12.

Member

photographernico (message) 527 posts, Busy bee

Drink wine.

11/4/10 @ 4:58 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Mrs. Taffy (message) 3,104 posts, Sugar bee

I had the worst insomnia during planning!!! I took enough advil pm pills to last a lifetime. Luckily, the insomnia completely vanished after the wedding! Hang in there!!!

11/4/10 @ 10:30 pm (reply)

14.

Member

Miss HunnyBunny (message) 119 posts, Blushing bee

I vent to my FI. Then I have a drink…and so does he!! haha

11/5/10 @ 3:00 am (reply)

15.