My Bout with Wedding Envy

My Bout with Wedding Envy

November 5th, 2010 @ 4:40 pm by Mrs. Hippo
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Right after our wedding planning week in Dallas, King Hippo and I headed to New Orleans to attend a friend’s wedding. Ummm…it was amazing. And I have major wedding envy.

Now, this wasn’t our first wedding since getting engaged. Other friends of ours got married about 6 weeks after we got engaged, but at that point we had done zero wedding planning—we hadn’t set a date, hadn’t picked out colors, nothing. Just going to a wedding while being engaged was super exciting. But this time around, we were well into the whole wedding planning process, and I knew exactly where our wedding budget was going and what we could and could not afford. Let’s just say, the wedding we went to basically embodied everything we can’t afford. *sigh*

Don’t get me wrong, I am super excited about our wedding, and I have no doubt that it will be fantastic. But we will not be having a live band. Or engraved invitations. Or 350 or so of our closest friends. Or sparklers (for our 350 or so friends). Or a full-time wedding planner. Or a photo booth. Or a marching band to lead guests from the ceremony to the cocktail hour to the reception. Or…do I need to keep going?

And it’s not like if we had an unlimited budget that we would necessarily choose these things, but I think the fact that we can’t choose these things makes me a wee bit green with envy. I know. I’m being stupid, and I shouldn’t compare our wedding to anyone else’s. But it’s hard not to compare, isn’t it?

Have you had wedding envy since you got engaged? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Tags: dallas, emotional |

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28 Responses to “My Bout with Wedding Envy”

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Guest

Magdalena

Reaves Engraving lets you have engraved invitations for less than $300 for 100 invites, for the whole suite. They are very classic, not a lot of modern colors or desigsn but they do the job in a very classy way. Quality is pretty good, too. I stumbled on them by accident and I’m glad I did!

11/5/10 @ 4:52 pm (reply)

Member

MJogan (message) 124 posts, Blushing bee

Not just you. Good friends of ours just had a “Platinum” wedding (if you watch as much wedding TV as I do). ::sigh:: Our wedding is it’s exact antithesis. Ironically, their wedding was also in New Orleans. LOL I think I was most envious of her designer shoes- Jimmy Choo!! I suddenly felt bad about my $25 ebay shoes that I happen to love. But you’re right, even if we could, doesn’t mean we would! Thanks for the post!!!

11/5/10 @ 4:52 pm (reply)

Member

thisisrachelle (message) 18 posts, Newbee

Definitely not the only one! We’re not doing floral centerpieces because with a limited budget, I’d rather spend money on other things, but it is hard to see so many great centerpiece ideas with gorgeous flowers.

I think so many things about getting married are an outward sign of “this is who we are and what we care about” that its hard not to look at other people’s choices and think maybe you would do things differently if you had time/money/more than one chance.

11/5/10 @ 4:55 pm (reply)

Member

PitBulLover (message) 8,322 posts, Bee Keeper

This happened to me! Ugh its such a horrible feeling and you feel so silly because of it but you cant help it! We went to a wedding after being engaged for 6 months - 5 months before our own wedding and since it was a 5 day destination in South America….I didnt think we could beat it. There were so many things they were able to do because things are so much cheaper in their country. Unfortunately I was comparing NON STop - it drove me crazy. Then I just got to a point when I realized that even though everything about their wedding was AMAZING it wasnt MY wedding and I knew that the feeling was going to be totally different. And I realized that it just didnt matter because my wedding would be the best night of MY life. Also, after talking with the bride I realized there were things that were not perfect about HER day so even though as a guest it seemed like the most amazing wedding ever it made me realize that all brides are going through the same thing!

11/5/10 @ 5:01 pm (reply)

Member

Divabrown9879 (message) 21 posts, Newbee

I’m new here and every single day someone posts something I can relate to.

Today, you hit the nail on the head for me. It can be so hard not to envy live bands and designer dresses and peonies and letterpress invites.

I think its natural and doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate your own wedding.

I’m also glad to know I’m not alone in these feelings.

11/5/10 @ 5:03 pm (reply)

Member

bRooklynRocks (message) 3,769 posts, Honey bee

Ha ha, who doesn’t have wedding envy. You say you envy your friend, and here I am envying someone who is having a wedding that is kinda different but really cool. You know, in a nice lounge-y area with cool sitting and get this, donuts at the end of the night. Who could that person be

11/5/10 @ 5:12 pm (reply)

Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 2,158 posts, Buzzing bee

Been there done that.

11/5/10 @ 5:15 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Twigs (message) 126 posts, Blushing bee

Nope, you’re not alone at all. From everything you’ve written, your wedding is going to be phenomenal and give the rest of us a solid case of envy anyway

11/5/10 @ 5:19 pm (reply)

Member

crayfish (message) 4,993 posts, Honey bee

Once you’re on the other side of things, you’ll be glad you didn’t bother with all of that!

11/5/10 @ 5:48 pm (reply)

10.

Member

missbiscuit (message) 1,050 posts, Bumble bee

I had a good 1/2 day pity party when I realized that lots of things that I was seeing on blogs just weren’t going to be in our budget. It sucks, in a word. But for some things there are DIY routes that make them maybe, possibly possible. For others, like you say- just because they’re beautiful doesn’t mean we’d choose them if we could.

11/5/10 @ 5:53 pm (reply)

11.

Member

missbiscuit (message) 1,050 posts, Bumble bee

Plus- just think- someone might be envying YOUR wedding after the day is done.

11/5/10 @ 5:54 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Mrs. Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

I did the same thing, but your wedding is gonna be so awesome in the end you’ll have nothing to compare it to!

11/5/10 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

Miss Lissy

I did the same thing. My friends got married last weekend and to me it seemed like they had an absolutely unlimited budget so for our very meager budget - like I was so happy for them but I just wished that I wouldn’t have to stress about money because I would have all that money that they did for their wedding.

11/5/10 @ 6:37 pm (reply)

14.

Member

tetorger (message) 138 posts, Blushing bee

It’s is hard not be a little jealous when seeing things in others weddings that you wish you could have for your own. It is also hard not to judge others wedding negatively saying things (hopefully only in your head). We brides just spend so much time and effort trying to make things perfect.

11/5/10 @ 8:12 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,329 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh yes, I cried at one of my best friend’s weddings in a fit of drunken anxiety that ours wouldn’t measure up…Totally feel your pain! But yours seriously sounds amazing so I wouldn’t be too green!

11/5/10 @ 10:14 pm (reply)

16.

Member

feministbride (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

Hoooo lady, don’t I know what you’re feeling. One week after we got engaged, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding for a mutual friend of my fiance and I. This wedding was at the Four Seasons, designer wedding gown measured by - no joke - the designer himself, orchids everywhere, not a penny spared. (Except for to buy lunch for the bridal party, which was improvised at the last minute, which is a complete other story for another day). Regardless - I feel you girl. Despite my ridiculous amount of bridesmaid experience, going to my fist wedding engaged was entirely new. And I freaked out. Because we will not be able to afford anything remotely near the level of opulence of this wedding, the florals, the venue… really, anything. And I feel insecure about it. And I know it’s ridiculous, but it still sucks to feel envious.

I’m right there with you. And I promise, it will pass, and we will get through that moment, and our days will be just and lovely and meaningful as anyone else’s day, regardless of trimmings. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for

11/5/10 @ 11:30 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Whimsical.Sprite (message) 828 posts, Busy bee

I completely understand what you are going through. My wedding and reception will be in a small town (not a lot of choices as far as venues, florists, caterers, etc.). Therefore, I am having MAJOR anxiety that our wedding won’t match his family’s “big city” expectations. . . he assures me that everything will be fine, but I can’t help but freak out! lol

11/6/10 @ 1:45 am (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Giraffe (message) 4,219 posts, Honey bee

Oh man, I am in the same boat as you, Hippo! Hang in there!

11/6/10 @ 2:12 am (reply)

19.

Member

Miss HunnyBunny (message) 119 posts, Blushing bee

Our good friends are getting married next month at the Dupont Hotel in Delaware..in a word….Gorgeous!! There wedding invites…Amazing!!! Her ring…HUGE!!!
I totally had wedding envy until I remembered that I’m not even interested in having the type of wedding she is having. My FI and I are completely low key individuals and want our wedding to reflect us. So as long as you’re wedding reflects the feeling you want it to, then who cares about everything else.

11/6/10 @ 4:28 am (reply)

20.

Bee

Mrs. Dolphin (message) 503 posts, Busy bee

I feel wedding envy, and our wedding is over! I still browse my favorite wedding blogs and I just need to stop. I see weddings and I’m like ‘that’s so creative, I wish we had thought of that.’ There comes a time to just let go and accept. I loved our wedding. It was so… US. And all those details don’t really mean anything when it comes down to it. No one remembers the details (trust me… I’ve asked), they just remember the love.

11/6/10 @ 10:26 am (reply)

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