Weddingbee Blog

When Mr. S and I got engaged, I had to tell him that I didn’t want to change my last name to his. He seemed fine with my decision and didn’t question my reasoning behind it whatsoever (love him). But, unfortunately, some other friends and family members have questioned me. So here is my laundry list of reasons for keeping my last name. Some of them are a bit more profound than others.

First, the important reasons:

1. I’ve sort of made a name for myself, in some (very small) circles. I have a fairly successful fashion website under my own name, and I’ve even had a few trade articles published for my line of work. I don’t like the idea of changing my name when it has some authority behind it.
2. I think that, deep down, I’ve always known that I never wanted to change my last name. When I was in middle school, and all of my classmates were scrawling “Mrs. Bon Jovi” or “Mrs. Haim-Feldman” in their notebooks (What? I’m a child of the ’80s, thankyouverymuch.), I never felt the need to participate. I’ve always liked my last name. It’s simple, it’s two syllables, and it sounds just fine with my first name.
3. I personally find the tradition of a woman changing her name to be outdated and sexist. By no means do I judge other women for doing so—who am I to care about someone else’s choice?—but it’s something I am not comfortable with for myself. If I were to change my name, I’d probably want to change it to a hybrid of my last name and Mr. S’s, and I’d want him to change his as well. That way, the meaning behind the name is that of a new family, not of the absorption of one person into another family.

And now, the less-important reasons:

1. I’m lazy, y’all. The less paperwork and red tape I have to deal with, the better.
2. Mr. S’s last name is kind of weird sounding, and I don’t like how it flows with my first name. Maybe if his last name were something awesome, like, say “Flamethrower” or “Glitterballs,” then I’d be more into the idea of changing it. Probably not, though.

Will you be changing your last name? Why or why not?