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Early in the planning stages, we didn’t know what we had. We had no clue how much anything cost, only that it was expensive and that it would take some serious saving efforts (on our part) and chipping in (on our families’ part) to have the wedding of our dreams.
Eventually we figured out what we could feasibly save and shell out, and we formulated a budget. As the months passed, we saved and we spent (mostly on odds and ends here and there), but all the while we weren’t grasping the whole budget as a whole. Does that make sense?
It’s not like we have $20,000 socked away that we’re pulling from for everything. We’re saving $2,000 and $3,000, and spending $500 here, maybe $50 there, and sometimes $1,000 on bigger things. It’s all very ambiguous and it’s making me a bit nervous. Not nervous because we’re overspending, but when you’re saving and spending at the same time (and not just pulling from one big pot), it gets kinda messy.
I think, “Oh! That’s wedding related, let me take some money from our savings for it.” But wait? Did we calculate this cost in the budget? Uh oh.
Fast forward to now, as we’re 5 months from the big day. We’ve saved and spent a lot, and still have a lot more saving and spending to do. The budget takes on a whole new meaning and we’re determined now to save every last penny.
It’s partly due to the realization that in just 3 short months we’ve got to pay up on a lot of contracts. We’re going to be expected to shell out a lot of money and it’d better be there! Not to mention all the little “extras” that will pop up the week before, and, oh yeah, our honeymoon.
The budget has just become a lot more serious. We’ve stopped buying breakfast and lunch, eating out as often, and all of our extra cash (that we used to spend at Starbucks and buying movies) now goes into the savings—it has to be that way for us to pay off the big vendors. It has to be that way for us to meet the budget goal.
My little lesson in all of this is that I really, really wish that in the first few months, when we weren’t saving every last dime, I would have started buying some of those little things that I want now (hankies for our mothers, bridesmaid’s robes, flutes, and other random crap like that). Now, when I want to buy a hanky, I’ve got to really evaluate whether we can afford it. Boo!
Granted, I’m probably just being really paranoid, because I know we’ll have enough, but as we inch closer to those last two months when we’ll be paying all our vendors, I can’t help but think that every dollar counts.
Are you spending less to make sure you have enough later?
Did you take your budget any more seriously the closer you got to your wedding day or did you have a clear budget plan from the beginning? What advice do you have to offer to those just starting to craft their wedding budgets?
We used the budget calculator on the Martha Stewart site. We put in the total of what we hoped to spend, and adjusted the calculations to our needs (i.e., no expenses for certain items, more budget for others). Whenever we spent money on our side it was noted there. When we got a better deal than anticipated, I used it to cover overage elsewhere. It really worked!
The robes and hankies might seem indispensable, but you’ll probably find that you did very nicely without them, should you need to make the sacrifice. Everything will still be beautiful!
We are the same way, no big pool of money to draw from. Just figured out what we thought we could afford and have been saving ever since. Luckily our parents have each offered to pay for specific things so we know what is our responsibility. The closer we get I am thinking about all of the contracts we have to pay up and deducting the money we’ve already “spent” from our total savings.
We don’t have a big pot either and we’re doing it ourshelves but like the other two bees have said we decided on what we wanted to overall spend and everytime we buy something for the wedding it should fit in somewhere in your budget categories. Our wedding is planned for next Sept. and my FH is putting money in the account while I pay all the deposits and buy the little stuff. The first of the year I wanted to be done with the down payments and all the little stuff, (Bridesmaid gifts, DIY projects, ) and then we BOTH can contribute to the account..hopefully that helps 
Ms. Brooch, I totally know where you’re coming from! I wish I could have seen a sample budget from someone in my area. Something that was realistic and not outrageous. It’s so hard, though. We all know that talking about money in a social setting is “inappropriate”. But in situations like this, I wish I had a good friend who would have just sat me down and showed me their budget.
It’s definitely been a work in progress. Getting quotes and proposals, comparing them to each other, figuring out what’s more important over other things, etc.
Good luck, hang in there!
I am definitely in the same boat. I am saving every cent I can.
Wow, my husband calls me the budget queen! Before we met his finances were in shambles. By the day of our wedding we had saved enough to pay it in full 
. Yup that’s what I said, and believe me, we don’t make a lot. He works in retail and I am a chemist (sounds glamorous and high paying but I get paid 10k less than I should and that amount actually isn’t what you think…chemist an scientist = two totally diff things).
I got a book…Amazing weddings for 5,000…something like that. It was based on a guest list of 100, we have 200 family members so we doubled it. Through other books that I’ve read I learned to pick and choose what was most important to us, so we took some money allotted for some items and put them towards others instead; low and behold we had a budget for each item in a wedding. Take that total divided by 18 months, which is what we had..and then divided by 2, because there’s two of us, and we knew what needed to be saved each month.
We agreed any money given to us for bdays, holidays, and tax returns would go into the savings as well. Mainly because I knew there are hiccups in any wedding and unexpected items that even the best planner of planners (like me) forget (yes there were just a few). And we did have a lot of hiccups. For one, we initially were getting a cake for free and then our family friends canceled on us. So saving these extra amounts we got as gifts over that time truly helped at that moment.
I cannot tell you how great it feels walking away from our wedding date debt-free! People think we spent double what we did, it was so wonderful..and I gotta give myself a pat on the back for that!
If you want more helpful tips just ask. I’d do this for a living if I could.
As unromantic as it sounds, we planned our wedding 2 years out so we’d have enough time to convert the house to gas, build a deck, pay off any credit cards, and save enough cash to pay for the wedding in full. And as wedding budgets go, ours has grown immensely. We have 3 of these 4 down with another 10 months to go so we’re in good shape. I did a lot of buying things here and there the first year while we did other projects, and put away what I could during those times. We’ve already paid for our grooms gifts, girls gifts, his suit, my dress, my shoes, my wedding band, a ton of decor items and the deposits. We’re on target to have enough saved, but we are working on the mentality that we need to save every cent possible now so we don’t fall short and have a healthy buffer. Anything left will go towards starting our new home fund, which is another great incentive to save. It’s tough though!
I understand! We have given up going to the movies all together and recently gave up Blockbuster. Now every Friday we rent a movie from the Redbox for $1!
I’m living and dying by a 8 tab spreadsheet, but I’m still 10 months out, so we’ll see. But I make sure I go through and update with each and every little wedding expense (from new shoes for e-pics to free toasting glasses from Crate & Barrel). I’m sure you’ll be fine as long as you keep your goals in mind!
I love hearing how all of you crafted your budgets and stuck to them! It’s really helpful!!
@chrispygal: That doesn’t sound unromantic at all! It sounds like organization and stress-free planning! @Kassie: Thanks for offering to help! Sounds like you were really on top of things, which is great! I’m trying to get there!!!
@Kassie: I’ve read that book! Well, by “read” I mean that I checked it out at the library along with a million other wedding books right after I got engaged. It was hard to apply some of the suggestions, but all in all there were some great ideas in there!
And Miss B, I totally know what you mean. The budget was (and still is) a very touch-and-go process for us. Money seems very fluid at the moment, and I’m not looking forward to the day when we have to face reality and really buckle down to stretch every dollar.
Wow I’m surprised that I’m the only one who has gone out and gotten a 2,500 loan to pay for my wedding…yep girls that is my entire budget. lol My wedding is in April so we are taking our tax money and paying the wedding loan and our rings off so my wedding will be completely paid for before the big day even comes. I love knowing that there will be no wedding debt dragging along for a long time to come.
We started with a budget of what we had that we could spend at that moment (no planning on funds yet to be earned). We planned our venue, catering and guest list on that amount.
Then as I tucked away money here and there I added little things. I added some food. Upgraded linens. Bought nicer shoes. Added more people and flowers. That way it wasn’t stressful because I wasn’t hoping to be able to pay for things in the future but adding things as the money became available.
I think starting minimally and then adding on later is the best way to plan.
Miss B thanks for taking on a touchy subject with such grace and honesty! Great advice too!
I know what you mean, our budget was all over the place and I justified little things here and there until it got down to the wire and then some things just meant more to me than others. I usually took the “give it a night’s sleep” approach before I bought anything. Good luck with your budgeting!
@polkadotbridetobe
We are totally the same on the $1 redbox Friday nights! No going out for us anymore. We pinch every penny we can, bc we have no other choice.
We’ve been lucky that my parents are covering a large part of our bill, but it still causes lots of budget stress for me. (as in panic attack last week) I don’t have alot of things that I want, but my parents have tons. And as they are planning on retiring next year-all I can do is stress about the budget. Even more so because it’s not mine if that makes any sense AND I don’t want to put my parents in the poor house. But even though I send them every spreadsheet it’s alot of ‘meh 200$ more isn’t a big deal’ where I can see the whole picture and I just feel horribly guilty most of the time.
Maybe I need to find a way to sneak it onto my dad’s blackberry. Maybe then he’ll get it.
Great post!! We started saving the minute the ring slide on my finger! He is a major saver (maybe that’s the accounting part coming out) and I am a spender *sigh*. I learned very quickly that paying on a car, rent, utilites, and loans added with all my shopping does not leave a lot to save. Saving came easier when I envisioned our day and realized to achieve what I wanted I had to “feed the pig” as my fiance says (get it: piggy bank-I’m pretty sure it’s some accounting joke that gets way over used).
Oh, Brooch, I just quit my job and the next one I’m going to take is a HUGE pay cut. We aren’t sure how we’re going to make it work, but I do know that we don’t have enough savings!! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only bride who’s worried about money!
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Mrs. Brooch, Arlington, VA Age and Occupation: 25, Writer/Editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Front Desk Manager Engagement Date: October 3, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2011 Venue: Oxon Hill Manor About Me: I’m an indecisive girlie-girl with a motor mouth, can-do attitude, and knack for making others laugh. I dream of becoming a best selling novelist like Elizabeth Gilbert or Julie Powell (a girl can dream, right?), and love long road trips, a beautiful countryside, music, blogs, books, and all things vintage/thrift/antique/or homemade. I’m a Virgo, i.e. overly sensitive, emotional, and critical, and there’s no such thing as short and sweet in my world. I want to say and do it all. Mr. Brooch grounds me. I point where to go and he figures out the way. He’s a pragmatic fancy-pants who enjoys video games and movies. We both adore our mutt, Rocky, and spending time with our amazingly supportive family and friends. We’re planning a garden wedding with a formal reception with lots of whimsy and unique, Southern-inspired details.
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