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Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
About Ms. Sloth

The Clueless Bride

November 10th, 2010 @ 9:40 am by Ms. Sloth

I’ve discovered something interesting about myself while wedding planning: I am totally clueless about the whole damned thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot about the whole shebang while browsing wedding blogs. I now am familiar with the world of out-of-town bags, manzanita branches, and handfastings—words and phrases that I’d never, ever heard before.

But there are still some things about which I remain completely clueless.

1. Trains and bustles.

The Clueless Bride :  wedding flowers philadelphia rings wedding dress Bustle111 bustle

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I know nothing about wedding-gown trains or bustles, except that I know that I don’t want either one. Most of the dresses I’ve fallen for didn’t have a train, but one dress I almost bought did have one. A long one. When I mentioned that I’d want to get it cut off, the saleswoman went into a spiel about how I could get the cathedral-length train trimmed to a chapel or sweep train, or instead I could just do a French or American bustle to keep it from dragging. My reply: “Huh?”

Well, OK. I was a bit more coherent than that, but basically, I explained that I don’t want anything dragging behind me ever. Decision made: the train will be chopped off. My dress won’t drag on the grass, and when people ask me what kind of train or bustle I have, I can give a simple answer, one I understand: “None.”

2. Diamonds.

The Clueless Bride :  wedding flowers philadelphia rings wedding dress P120436 P120436

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Brilliant, radiant, clarity, inclusions, princess, marquis, prong setting…I have no idea what any of those words mean. The only diamond term I understand is round, which, miracle of miracles, actually means what it says! When the boy and I went to pick out my ring, I couldn’t tell anyone what I wanted besides “pretty, dainty, and cruelty free.” That’s my extent of diamond expertise.

3. Flowers.

The Clueless Bride :  wedding flowers philadelphia rings wedding dress 1102 1102

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I’ve always wished that I knew more about plants and flowers in general, but I have no idea. I can identify maybe five to seven types of flowers by sight, and other than that, I’m totally useless. When I had my first conversation with a florist and she asked me what type of flowers I wanted for the wedding, my reply was, “Um. Pretty ones?” I knew what colors I wanted, and I knew that I wanted a kind of wild, unmanicured, lush, “garden-y” look, but when she started spouting words like ranunculus, Queen Anne’s Lace, and Mokara orchids, I felt like she was speaking another language.

4. Veils.

The Clueless Bride :  wedding flowers philadelphia rings wedding dress Veils L veils_l

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Before I got engaged, if you’d asked me about types of veils, I’d have told you about my two categories: long and short. Even now, I can only tell you about long, short, and birdcage, which is what I’m going to wear.

Is there anything wedding related that you are still completely clueless about? Or do you consider yourself a wedding expert after planning your own?

Tags: flowers, philadelphia, rings, wedding-dress |
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17 Responses to “The Clueless Bride”

1.
TheFutureMcBride
Member
TheFutureMcBride (message)  4,479 posts, Honey bee

Thank you! Even now that I’m married, I’m complately lost on all the things you mentioned along with table seating, out of town bags, and Save the Dates. None of that makes sense to me. However, whatever works for someone is what works.

 
2.
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Member
Joanna910 (message)  65 posts, Worker bee

I am still clueless about trains and bustles! Plus I have no idea about flower types. All I know is roses! I really had no idea all the things related to a wedding! Often it makes me feel so overwhelmed!

 
3.
wgowood
Member
wgowood (message)  116 posts, Blushing bee

Oh goodness, no! I’m absolutely lost in this sea of planning. The only thing I knew was videography, and that’s because I’m a filmmaker. The best way I’ve gotten through the planning is by pretending I’m filming a scene for a beautiful, elegant wedding. :p

 
4.
mrsbowieii
Member
mrsbowieii (message)  692 posts, Busy bee

I dislike veils immensely but since Mr. B wants to see me in one I was forced into realizing that there were other veils aside from long and short.

The thing that I am most confused about other than flowers is all the varying things that go under the dress and when you do and don’t need it. I was shocked that you could get full body coverage, half, separates, a crilione, and hoop skirts… I’m like whoa does that need to go with my dress or not otherwise I don’t want to know.

 
5.
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Member
glamfish500 (message)  262 posts, Helper bee

Flowers confuse the heck out of me. I like pink flowers. Show me pictures of pink flowers and I can point at ones I like. Don’t expect me know know names.

 
6.
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Member
het0025 (message)  9 posts, Newbee

I’m with mrsbowieii! WTF are all these things that need to go under this dress?! I get shapewear and all that, but jeez, the dress already is heavy, with layers and layers, and now I need more than a strapless bra and some undies?! LOL

Flowers I’m ok with…except the filler stuff.

 
7.
Whimsical.Sprite
Member
Whimsical.Sprite (message)  828 posts, Busy bee

I completely agree with you on being CLUELESS about flowers! I thought I was the only girl out there that didn’t know flower types. I was the same way with my florist when she started asking me if I liked ‘this’ or ‘that’ flower. My opinion is, “Here are my wedding colors, here is a picture I like of flowers, you are the professional, now make it happen!” lol

 
8.
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Guest
Loose

I think its slightly ironic that you wrote a post about being clueless about weddings when you write a wedding blog…I’d actually say that’s pretty far from clueless about weddings.

 
9.
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Member
feistylove79 (message)  12 posts, Newbee

I can totally relate! I think I had almost the same response when I first met with my florist … “Um, purple ones!” And ditto when dress shopping, or when anyone would ask me my least favorite question in the world: “What are your colors?” For several months after getting engaged, people would ask me this and I could not understand why. Apparently, I needed to select 2 or more colors which would be dominant in all our wedding decorations, and this was, apparently, a very important decision to make.

BTW, I also opted for no train! Several salespeople I encountered seemed shocked and appalled that I would want to remove the excess fabric dragging behind me, but I finally found a dress with a small train and a saleswoman who was perfectly accepting of my choice to remove the thing.

Best of luck with the rest of your planning!

 
10.
Entangled
Member
Entangled (message)  2,616 posts, Sugar bee

Oh, man, trains. My reaction to those is a pair of scissors as well. The idea of having a train or bustle behind me bothers me a lot - I had a big klutz and it’s just not happening.

 
11.
Stephalopolis
Member
Stephalopolis (message)  73 posts, Worker bee

You sound just like me :P I’m SLOWLY starting to learn, but wow, I’m glad I have 17 months to learn!!

 
12.
mrspaetz
Member
mrspaetz (message)  3,805 posts, Honey bee

don’t worry, you’ll be an expert in due time :P

 
13.
yume1013
Member
yume1013 (message)  37 posts, Newbee

I’m in the same boat…as long as it looks good :) That’s all I care about :)

 
14.
ManciasToBe
Member
ManciasToBe (message)  195 posts, Blushing bee

What the heck does “SO” mean??? i know MOH MOB MOG BM FI but ‘SO’ wat??

 
15.
jordynrose
Member
jordynrose (message)  6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I am with you on 1 and 4. Still have no clue.

 
16.
miss whiterose
Member
miss whiterose (message)  7 posts, Newbee

Lol. What a great post! I cannot help laughing when I read about the veil. I still say I want it long and not short haha. I am one clueless-to-be-bride here myself!! And yes, ’bout the Diamond, I never gave so much interest to the details, until my man proposed… and I’m still learning.. thanks for sharing. :-)
All the best dear.x

 
17.
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Guest
Cindy

you are so funny! Love the post!

 

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Ms. Sloth
Ms. Sloth

Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.

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