Weddingbee Blog

I’ve discovered something interesting about myself while wedding planning: I am totally clueless about the whole damned thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot about the whole shebang while browsing wedding blogs. I now am familiar with the world of out-of-town bags, manzanita branches, and handfastings—words and phrases that I’d never, ever heard before.

But there are still some things about which I remain completely clueless.

1. Trains and bustles.

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I know nothing about wedding-gown trains or bustles, except that I know that I don’t want either one. Most of the dresses I’ve fallen for didn’t have a train, but one dress I almost bought did have one. A long one. When I mentioned that I’d want to get it cut off, the saleswoman went into a spiel about how I could get the cathedral-length train trimmed to a chapel or sweep train, or instead I could just do a French or American bustle to keep it from dragging. My reply: “Huh?”

Well, OK. I was a bit more coherent than that, but basically, I explained that I don’t want anything dragging behind me ever. Decision made: the train will be chopped off. My dress won’t drag on the grass, and when people ask me what kind of train or bustle I have, I can give a simple answer, one I understand: “None.”

2. Diamonds.

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Brilliant, radiant, clarity, inclusions, princess, marquis, prong setting…I have no idea what any of those words mean. The only diamond term I understand is round, which, miracle of miracles, actually means what it says! When the boy and I went to pick out my ring, I couldn’t tell anyone what I wanted besides “pretty, dainty, and cruelty free.” That’s my extent of diamond expertise.

3. Flowers.

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I’ve always wished that I knew more about plants and flowers in general, but I have no idea. I can identify maybe five to seven types of flowers by sight, and other than that, I’m totally useless. When I had my first conversation with a florist and she asked me what type of flowers I wanted for the wedding, my reply was, “Um. Pretty ones?” I knew what colors I wanted, and I knew that I wanted a kind of wild, unmanicured, lush, “garden-y” look, but when she started spouting words like ranunculus, Queen Anne’s Lace, and Mokara orchids, I felt like she was speaking another language.

4. Veils.

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Before I got engaged, if you’d asked me about types of veils, I’d have told you about my two categories: long and short. Even now, I can only tell you about long, short, and birdcage, which is what I’m going to wear.

Is there anything wedding related that you are still completely clueless about? Or do you consider yourself a wedding expert after planning your own?