Regarding “Bridezilla”

Regarding “Bridezilla”

November 16th, 2010 @ 10:07 am by Ms. Sloth
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I hate the term “bridezilla.”

I hate that it’s become a catch-all term to describe any bride that has strong opinions about what she wants.

Yes, there are those women who demand that their bridesmaids get Botox or lose 30 pounds or all spend $500 on matching shoes. There are those women who will pitch a screaming fit if their flowers come in and they are fuchsia, not magenta! But I’d be willing to bet a month’s salary that those women, in general, are not Bridezillas. They are most likely rigid, controlling, and unreasonable in every aspect of their lives. Life-zillas, if you will. And if they’re going to get worked up about Botox and the like, well, then, they’ve got their own set of problems, and I’m just glad that I don’t have to be in their weddings.

Regarding Bridezilla : wedding philadelphia Ndee ndee

This chick obviously has real issues.

But what really chaps my ass is when people play the Bridezilla card just because a bride has strong opinions about what she wants her wedding to be like. A bride spends months or years planning a party, a crazy-expensive party, on which she will be judged by everyone attending. It’s stressful. It’s maddening. There is so much societal pressure to have the “perfect” wedding—who wouldn’t get a bit unhinged once in a while?

But it’s not just societal pressure. There is pressure from our families, there is pressure from our friends. There are vendors to be wrangled and budgets to stick to. There is a dress, probably the most expensive garment that we will ever own, that needs to fit impeccably.

Imagine if you’d spent one year and thousands of dollars on some other project. Say you were building a home, or starting a business, or designing an art installation or writing a novel. You’d want it to be absolutely perfect, right? That’s not being unreasonable, that’s just being driven. And in my opinion, most brides who want everything just so aren’t being unreasonable either. We’re designing a major event. Why wouldn’t we want everything to be just how we like it?

I’m not saying that we should be using the stress of wedding planning as a reason to be a total douche to our friends and family. But I am saying that we shouldn’t be saddled with an anti-feminist nickname just because we want our wedding to be just right.

Let’s retire “Bridezilla” once and for all, m’kay?

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42 Responses to “Regarding “Bridezilla””

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Member

mightywombat (message) 3,311 posts, Sugar bee

I was JUST talking to my fiance last night about this. “Bridezilla” is the perfect bookend to the social expectation that your wedding is all about YOU, and it must be PERFECT. Your wedding must be flawless and perfectly represent “who you are” but STOP MAKING IT ALL ABOUT YOU BRIDEZILLA!

It’s a way of ensuring that all the sexist fluff about the wedding being The Most Important Day Of A Girl’s Life doesn’t then allow that girl to express any demands, expectations, or anger.

11/16/10 @ 10:17 am (reply)

Member

MJogan (message) 124 posts, Blushing bee

Thanks for this post! The stones kept coming loose in my engagement ring right after becoming engaged and it nearly resulted in a law suit with the jeweler. When they relented and let me choose another (instead of the refund we had asked for), it came in more expensive than they had told us it would when we went to pick it up! When my mother and I had to raise our voices in the store in outrage, another clerk NOT familiar with our case had told the customer he was assisting I was a Bridezilla. From then on, I hated that term and realized that sometimes, you don’t have the full story. You’re right, when people make such big ticket purchases, there is a LOT of pressure. And you’re right, if this was a house or an art show, you would do your best to ensure it was right.

Thanks again!

11/16/10 @ 10:20 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

TRUE. DAT.

11/16/10 @ 10:20 am (reply)

Member

jo.lee (message) 5,820 posts, Bee Keeper

Thank you!!!

11/16/10 @ 10:28 am (reply)

Member

LisaM (message) 160 posts, Blushing bee

You are right, but I guess that terminology has really been in the wedding dictionary already so it is difficult for some to just take it off when they see a bride getting overboard.

11/16/10 @ 10:28 am (reply)

Member

CorgiTales (message) 9,861 posts, Bee Keeper

“Like”

Totally agree. I fear that I might be labeled a “bride-zilla” by vendors because I am a person that demands to be treated in a professional way, and to get what I pay for. Not just for the wedding, but in life. I’m not someone who will let a vendor (in any arena) do the wrong thing and not remedy the situation. I’m not a bitch about it… but I’m very professional in all my interactions. I can already tell my venue coordinator doesn’t like me because of things like.. expecting the quoted price to be… the price. I know, crazy right? Ugh.

11/16/10 @ 10:30 am (reply)

Member

ohheavenlyday (message) 2,400 posts, Buzzing bee

@CorgiTales:

I’m like this too. I’m polite and discreet, but I’m sort of just a regular old Zilla in general. I just want people to do their GD jobs!

11/16/10 @ 10:31 am (reply)

Member

KassieD (message) 40 posts, Newbee

I am totally with you on this one. It seems like nowadays if you have a distinct idea of what you want on you’re wedding day…you are dubbed as a bridezilla.

I still remember when my mom told me I was being a bridezilla because I chose bridesmaid’s dresses she didn’t like….um…last time I checked it wasn’t up to the MOB to choose those…or anything for that matter. I mean, there was no arguing, there was no fit or tantrum, literally she said “I like A” and I said “I like B”…bam….BRIDEZILLA! If that’s the case, all of us who told you which chairs we would pick for your ceremony/reception are bridezillas bc we have an opinion. LOL.

And P.S…my flowers showed up at my house and weren’t anything close to the colors I had ordered. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “At least we’ve got something to carry.”

11/16/10 @ 10:38 am (reply)

Member

MUI831 (message) 728 posts, Busy bee

What drives me the most batty is that just b/c I’m engaged, this term is thrown around regardless of what I have an opinion on, wedding related or not. And it doesn’t even have to be a strong opinion. I could just disagree with someone. Oh you prefer red wine over white? Quit being a Bridezilla!!! Although to be fair, it’s usually from my brothers.

11/16/10 @ 10:39 am (reply)

10.

Member

iRun2004 (message) 223 posts, Helper bee

If there were some way to print this post on a t-shirt I would wear it every day from now until my wedding.

11/16/10 @ 10:40 am (reply)

11.

Member

NotYourTypicalBride (message) 1,294 posts, Bumble bee

RIGHT ON!

First of all… LMAO at the “Lifezilla” coinage. I’m going to have to use that one; don’t be surprised if it sticks.

Second, I knew the Bridezilla term had become overextended when my sister used it (albeit jokingly) early on in my planning because I commented that I had searched high and low for a printed invitation and could not find anything I liked. Again, she was truly just kidding, but it made me realize that I would have to be very careful about how I expressed myself to avoid being labeled a B-zilla simply because I am particular about my vision. So “hear, hear” to your call for retiring the term!

11/16/10 @ 10:41 am (reply)

12.

Guest

BluegrassBride

Ha, “life-zillas.” Indeed!

What irritates me to no end is when friends/family say to me “As an anthropologist don’t you know that weddings are just a ritual ceremony - you’ll still be married at the end of the day no matter what” as if that makes it… less important? Yes, as a social scientist I KNOW that it’s a major rite-of-passage, which makes it MORE important than it would be if I didn’t already spend every waking moment thinking about theories of symbolism. *sigh*

FI used the term the other day when I reminded him to get addresses and spousal names for some of his coworkers he wanted me to invite. “Oookay, Bridezilla.” I politely told him I was quite certain he didn’t understand what the term meant, but keep talking that way and maybe he’d find out.

11/16/10 @ 11:03 am (reply)

13.

Member

iwantweddingchampagne (message) 134 posts, Blushing bee

Hear hear!

If I’m paying over a grand for *anything* at all, it BETTER be just the way I like it!

If the darn Wedding Industry just lowered their prices a bit, I bet they would see less Bridezilla-like behavior XP

11/16/10 @ 11:14 am (reply)

14.

Member

redherring (message) 1,969 posts, Buzzing bee

Yes. This. Exactly. I actually pointed this out to several people during my engagement. I was planning the biggest party I’ll ever throw and had guests flying in from all over the country to attend. Of course I didn’t want it to be a disaster!

11/16/10 @ 11:19 am (reply)

15.

Member

plantains (message) 2,433 posts, Buzzing bee

Eh, some people really are Bridezillas. There is no denying that weddings have been known to turn perfectly normal people into monsters on occasion. I don’t know whether it is the stress or the enormity of the situation at hand, but I have been a bridesmaid in two weddings where the bride completely lost her mind. She lost all perspective and sense of reason. As far as I am concerned that person was definitely a bridezilla, and having known them for many years and seen how they went back to normal post wedding Lifezilla really doesn’t fit.

11/16/10 @ 11:34 am (reply)

16.

Member

tetorger (message) 138 posts, Blushing bee

I am typically a really laid back person, but when I am running late or a really big event is going on, someone just hits a bitch flip inside of me. I know the morning of my wedding my best friend will probably insert an iv of mimosas to calm my crazy self down. I wouldn’t be surprised if the “b’zilla” term was mentioned of me, but I will probably deserve it that situation. But it is such an annoyingly overused, and misused term.

11/16/10 @ 11:34 am (reply)

17.