Weddingbee Blog

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Let me preface this post by saying that I find the pressure from the wedding industry to lose weight for one’s wedding day to be just ridiculous. I hate the fact that there exist countless books and websites dedicated to bridal weight loss. Don’t get me wrong—I agree that fitness and health are extremely important, especially with obesity becoming such a widespread problem in the U.S.—but I think that it’s wrong to try to get in shape to fit into a dress for one day, or to look skinny in our photos. We should try to get in shape because it’s healthy and we’ll live longer. It’s something we should be doing for the long term, not just for our wedding day. And the media pressure around it is just disgusting and manipulative.

Now I’m going to step off of my soapbox and tell you about my weight loss (and gain, and loss again) journey.

Up until my mid-20s, I weighed about 130 pounds, and wore a size 8. At one point, I gained 15 pounds, and got up to a size 10, and then I went on Weight Watchers, lost 20 and was down to a size 6. It was the best I’d looked and felt since high school.

And then I hurt my back and couldn’t work out, and I sort of gave up on the dieting. I gained the weight back. That’s when I started dating Mr. S.

That was six and a half years ago. Since then, I’ve gained almost fifty more pounds and 2-3 sizes. Mr. S gained about the same. It’s not uncommon for people to gain weight when they fall in love and settle down. We’re not the most motivated people in general, and we influence each other badly. We got lazy. And lazier. And laziest.

So, yeah—fifty pounds! That’s an average of about 8 pounds a year! And that is soooo not healthy. When you add that to the fifteen that I’d gained back before I met Mr. S, that’s sixty-five pounds overweight!

I wish I could say that I had a super-healthy body image and that I still felt beautiful and confident after I gained the weight, but that’s not true. Going clothes shopping would make me cry because I didn’t look good in the clothes I liked. I’d find excuses not to meet up with old friends because I’d picture them thinking “Look how much weight she put on!” And it wasn’t just about body image. Sometimes I hated myself. Not for being overweight, but for letting myself get overweight.

Because it was all my own fault. I hate exercise. I love junk food. I spent six years sitting around on my (ever expanding) ass and shoveling carbs and fat into my gullet like it was going out of style. And I was so angry at myself for letting that happen. Mr. S would try to console me. “I think you’re beautiful no matter what you weigh,” he’d say. And I know that he meant it. And while I appreciated that, nothing would make me feel better if I didn’t think that I was beautiful.

When I got engaged and started dress shopping, I had a really hard time. None of the dresses that I liked looked good on my body. None of the dress shops carried samples that I could fit into. But, finally, after many, many shopping trips, I found a dress that I liked and that was flattering as well. The floor sample that I tried on almost fit me. It was just a leeetle too tight. I could’ve bought it for a discount and tried to lose the weight. Instead, I spent extra money to order a size up because I’d rather pay extra to get it taken in than have to stress about losing weight to fit into the smaller size.

And that’s when I realized: I’d become totally complacent. I’d always thought that I’d lose weight eventually, but when I ordered the dress a size bigger, I realized that I’d accepted the fact that I was overweight. And I didn’t want to accept it! That, along with some wonderful support from my mother, finally kicked my ass in gear.

For the past six weeks, I’ve been back on Weight Watchers. I’ve lost about fifteen pounds so far and am hoping to lose another 45 total. But there is no way that will happen before the wedding. I know I’ll lose a lot more before May, but I’m still going to most likely be about 25 pounds above my ideal weight on my wedding day.

And you know what? That’s totally okay. I will wear a pretty dress and have a pretty hairdo, and I will feel beautiful. I will be marrying the best man on the planet while surrounded by our friends and family and I will feel loved.

And that’s all that matters, really.