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I am continuously amazed at what some men do and do not know when it comes to wedding planning. I am also intrigued by what they will and will not understand. Here is a recent example…
On one of our grocery store excursions I saw antique blue hydrangeas. I think I melted a little bit and cooed, ”Awww, I love these.”
Mr. Waffle let out a groan.
“What’s wrong?”
“It looks like Jane Austen.”
I knew he wanted no notion of anything English at the wedding. A conversation a few days of earlier about whether or not he wanted any traditions from England included was dismissed rather quickly. This lead me to believe that my new favorite “Jane Austen” flowers would be vetoed as well.
“But I looooove these coloooooors. They would be perfect. What colors do you want for the wedding?”
“Colours?”
“Yes, Pumpkin. What do you think our wedding colors should be?”
“You have to have colours? What for? Are you sure?” he asked exasperatedly. Mr. Waffle is always exasperated when I introduce him to new things. He looks at me in a disbelieving manner as if I have an alien growing out of the top of my head. This is followed by a look that suggests I am trying to play a trick on him accompanied by an, “are you sure?” The early stages of planning this wedding have been a slew of these reactions (which has actually been fun because it always makes me giggle).
A week later, I decided the Waffs probably needed visual aides. I stopped by Home Depot to pick up paint chips in the color family I was considering (thank you Martha Stewart Living Complete Paint Palette). It took me forever, but I was happy with my choices!
Beaming, I proudly presented them to him.
Confusedly, he looked up at me. ”Urm, what do I do with these?”
“These are the colors I chose.”
“Which ones?”
“All of them. It’s a color family. A palette.” I was still holding on to the excitement. If I was a dog I would have been wagging my tail.
“OK.” He was still puzzled.
“What do you think?” I could feel the much needed approval of my hour of hard work scrutinizing paint chips fading away.
“They’re colours.”
I began to tuck my tail between my legs and accept the fact that he is a man, and as a man he most likely has absolutely no interest or desire to choose colors. But how could he not have an opinion about a decision that will affect all other decision making from this point forward? How?! For the love, can someone just make him see how IMPORTANT this is?
“I like purple. Purple’s quite nice.”
Success!
Did your FI take any interest in the color scheme for your wedding?
Yes, and no. I showed him all sorts of lovely color families and inspiration boards. To each he said, “That’s nice,” without commitment. I explained why this was important to me and how I wanted the wedding day to be about _us_ and not _me_ and _my_ choices. He thought about it awhile. “How about designing around your robot?” That is, my plastic, black and white robot that I’ve been meaning to cannibalize for awhile. Soooo our colors became black and white. Those colors were especially easy to find and match 
Perhaps it wasn’t the beautiful sunrise-inspired wedding I initially thought I wanted, but it did turn have some “us” in it
“Colours” with a “u” makes me happy Mr E being a photographer took almost too much interest in our wedding colours…in the end we stopped trying to agree on colours and just added all the ones that we like…it seems to be kinda working.
Haha poor men, we had the same conversation and it ended the same way! I just said “what color do you like then?” and he said “purple is cool” I’m like, I can work with purple!
If you’re having a purple and blue wedding I can’t wait to see because those are my colors too!
I think I agree with your fiance on colors.
Yeah, I get the blank look when I start on colours and flowers too.. Typical men! Very quick to pipe up when they don’t like something you’ve already decided on though!
My mister is completely lost when it comes to giving me his opinion on most decisions involved with our wedding.
Luckily my MOH is awesome and is there to bounce ideas off of. We tend to refer to it as ‘our wedding’ as in my MOH and mine, rather then the FI and mine.
I know he loves me and that is what really matters, I don’t bother pushing him to care about details:) It is fun watching him squirm sometimes though!
Sorry but what’s wrong with Jane Austen? I lurve her Em, I don’t have a favorite color so I asked fiance, he told me gray. Okay. Gray it is. Any others? Purple. Add that too. Now I’m at gray (slate) and purple (lilac). Hmmmm….
Hehe! I love that your English fiance rejects all things English and that his response about the colors was “are you sure?” That made me laugh.
Oh my goodness!!! We had the EXACT same conversation, but mine went a little worse… I thought we had already picked out our colors. The day before the conversation that went something like yours we were talking to a friend and I made a comment that went something like, “Well, we’ve pretty much picked out our colors, right honey?” And, he of course said, “Yeah, they’re already picked out.” The next day I showed him fabrics in our color scheme and he had no idea what he was looking at… then I clarified and somehow we got to the part where he tells me that he didn’t remember picking out colors!! To make a long story short, a few days ago I showed him some “inspiration boards” that I made and he “got it”, but we’re probably changing our palette now and I’ve already purchased a few things in the old colors… ugh!!! Oh well… at least we’re on the same page now!
“it looks like jane austen” might be the best quote i’ve ever read in the history of the bee - 1 - beacuse he is a boy & 2 - because blue hydrangeas make me think of exactly the same thing!
Mr. Ostrich helped with colors in this way - i asked him, simply - “what colors do you really like? which ones do you think are awful?” he was quick to answer these…and i took it from there
The only input I got when I asked about wedding colors was, “I don’t know. Brown? Green?” Ok…back to the drawing boards. There will be no camouflage wedding for me!
haha, i like how you switch from “color” to “colour” depending on whose talking
mr. sew wanted manly colors, so manly it was!
Like Mrs. Ostrich, I asked Mr. E what colors he liked and which ones he did not want and took it from there. Luckily I really liked our favorite colors (colors of our bathroom) so it was a quick decision.
I love your illustrations! My husband didn’t care one ounce about color. Really, he just asked that everything not end up pink.
My FI is ALWAYS exasperated when I introduce him to new things too. Then he’ll proceed to argue with me that it isn’t done that way (when I’ve been the one doing all the wedding research). Oy!
As far as wedding colors, I came up with a few color combinations that I liked. Then I had him decide on the final one. Win-Win!
ah, colours were my toughest battle. my FI claimed he didn’t care about them. but then was upset when he realized they dictated what he would wear (I thought that was obvious, but we forget how little they know…)
I was super-surprised when Mr TM actually kinda DID have a strong opinion on our colors. Not that he had ones he wanted so much as ones he didn’t want!
I love the dialogue btwn you two, so funny and cute!
Colours were decided on really really early in the process. Red is both of our favourite colours, so that’s what we picked. It seemed simple and that he sort of had a say.
He has put in a little input. He tells me what he does not like lol. He is a designer tho. So he does care. “Nothing toooo girly” his words not mine. He like yellow and steel ish grey. I leaning towards yellow, purple and grey….I guess we will just have to see
I’ve found that while he seems irked by conversation about various details, it’s takes a little footwork to get an actual comprehensive response.
He was indifferent to colors, so he said, but it was a different story when it came to talking about what he wanted to wear. I figured out his taste by having him pick out his favorite ties and sport coats at a department store. I sealed the deal when asking him what color Chuck Taylors he wanted to get the groomsmen.
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Mrs. Waffle, Austin Age and Occupation: 31, Costumer/Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Animator Engagement Date: July 27, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2011 Venue: Hummingbird House About Me: My life is pretty much spent in a sea of fabric, paint, sequins and drama. When I’m not working, I play on a trivia team, take Broadway dance classes, read, buy shoes, and occasionally geek out on video games. I am an American girl who loves all things British and Mr. Waffle is a Brit who loves all things American...I guess it was meant to be!
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