Weddingbee Blog

Oh, hello there!

Okay, so I know I said I would get back to your regularly scheduled wedding recaps soon…but instead I got sucked into the “Then and Now” Series. I mean, who doesn’t love embarrassing pictures of me in high school? With my boyfriend?

Steve and me circa 2002

Yes, boyfriend. I’m sort of curious about whether anyone is picking their jaw up off the floor, so please tell me if you are!

During my time at an all-girls Catholic high school in Chile.

Let’s start by saying that I hated high school, and there is absolutely no way I would be willing to do it again. I went to a public high school. I was on the Honors track, in Special Vocal Ensemble (we had to audition to get in! I was always very proud of that.), string orchestra, drama club, school newspaper, and I was a proud founder of the school’s literary club. If that gives you a sense of Who I Was in High School.

Me, at Nerd Camp, singing a song about unrequited love. Fitting.

I met Steve in my freshman year, I think, and had a huge crush on him by sophomore year. Heh, as I start this story, I realize how long and complex it is. Here’s the short version, kids: Steve and I dated for over four years. He was two years ahead of me and I thought he was the coolest guy in the world. Forget that he was in Science Club. I thought Science Club was cool? Who am I kidding, I still think Science Club is pretty cool.

We spent a lot of time together, and a lot of time with each other’s families. (At my wedding, it was really nice to see Steve and my brother spending time together; they had first met when my brother was only 5, and Bro Seahorse, too, thought Steve was just awesome. It seems that not much changed on that front in the last 11 years. I’m really happy to say that Steve and I are now friends; after a nice hiatus of not talking or being remotely friendly to each other, I’m now happy to see him regularly, and I was thrilled that he came to our wedding.) I think one of the worst parts of breaking up with Steve was breaking up with Steve’s family. I still miss them.

Me, with Steve and his siblings (plus friend). I’m the shortest one. Some things don’t change.

I really thought that Steve and I were going to get married. It was something I just sort of assumed, and was surprised when I realized I believed it (because we were real grownups! At, um, age 18.). And Steve was pretty much the best boyfriend EVER. One time, I was having a really hard night and he drove from his college in western MA to my college in upstate NY. Dedication, folks. I think that I learned a lot about how to be a good partner now after being in a relationship with Steve—a relationship in which, I admit, I was not a good partner. Example: I asked him to drive from his college in MA to mine in NY. At 10 PM. On a school night. Just saying.

Anyway, the whole time we were together, I felt like something wasn’t quite right. Something just didn’t quite click. And he was an amazing guy, always supportive, ready to do whatever I wanted, ready to show up by my side if I so much as hinted that that was what I wanted. He supported my animal habit (he even gave me a foster cat once), brought me lunch at work almost every day, and drove me wherever I wanted to go. On my prom night, he drove us an hour to the beach, and I only woke up from my nap in the car to walk on the sand for five minutes. Steve = major points for big romantic gesture; me = worst girlfriend ever (“There was a beach? I thought that part was a dream.”).

What are we upset about? Theory: I’m upset that he’s not a woman, and he’s upset that I’m upset. Just a guess.

Well, at that point, I sort of knew that I liked girls. I just thought that I liked girls and I liked Steve. Obviously, it turned out that the liking girls thing was a little more than bisexuality. When I started dating my first girlfriend, I was like, “Whoa. So this is what it’s like to be in love!” Aaaand when she broke up with me, I was all, “OH. So THIS is heartbreak. Whoa.”

These thoughts were followed by many late nights of leaving (possibly-drunken) voicemails for Steve, a la “You were the best boyfriend ever! I never appreciated you enough! I’m so sorry I broke your heart!”

Steve was pretty much the best boyfriend ever, hands down, and I dated a lot of boys after him (you know, searching for whatever that *thing* was that didn’t quite click. Turned out there were two of those things and they are located on the general chest area. Yeah.). The awesomeness that he provided and the lack of awesomeness that I gave back both taught me a lot going into my current relationship: there needs to be a balance, both partners need to give, and you have to speak up for what you want. If it feels like something is missing, there is probably something missing. Be honest with the person you’re with; everyone will be happier in the end for it.

my wife, me, and Steve at our wedding

Are you still friends with your first “real” significant other? Anyone else out there take awhile to figure out what “wasn’t quite right”?

Note: I have Steve’s permission for this entire post, and we both laughed a lot at the fact that I am posting these pictures to the internet. Please be gentle.

Note #2: Steve is seriously awesome and if you think you’re awesome too (and you think Science Club is fun!) you should probably have coffee with him. Also, he has two really cute kittens. Also, you should be female.

He’s a handsome, contemplative bugger. And he cleans up real nice.