Pretend that it’s a striped ass
I did it. I can’t believe I did it. I fell victim to one of the most common mistakes us brides make.
Assumption
Never assume, because as Momma Zeebs says: “it makes an ass out of you and me.”
Ass+u+me = Zebra… get it? 
What is it that I assumed, you ask?
Well…I assumed every one of our guests reads wedding blogs every day. I assumed our guests would know the difference between a Save the Date and an invitation. I assumed that I did not have to write the words…
“Save the Date!”
or
“Formal Invitation to Follow”
It seemed like a whole lot of hub-bub just for something that was going to sit on their fridge. To me, a formal invitations says important information like, oh I don’t know, the time of the ceremony. I just assumed that it would be understood. Unfortunately I did not write that information. On the bright side, this is not a total tragedy—just a small little ha-ha moment. I’m definitely not complaining about people RSVPing a few months in advance. I am going to complain that I spent approximately $202 to notify people of the room block and no one, not a single one of our 300 guests has booked rooms since receiving their STDs. Oh well. We have our room. woot.
So, another learn from Miss Zebra, the ultimate mistake maker, moment: never assume people will understand it is a save the date unless you spell. it. out.
Did anyone else run into this problem?
Yeah ummm people didnt book their rooms until a week to a few days before our wedding…the point of reserving the block? I have no idea.
I honestly never thought STD’s were a big deal… until I got engaged and started reading Weddingbee and several other wedding blogs and now think they are a HUGE deal! Crazy the way things can seem from two different people/viewpoints!
Love the title! I often find this when I am explaining an idea that everyone is discussing in the blog world but my parents give me a look like what are you talking about…
YES!! I DID spell out very clearly “Save The Date” on mine and my fiance’s parents got some calls asking “where is the reply device? How do I send this back?”
I also wrote “May 21 SAT NY” and someone called asking was SAT NY meant….I guess I assumed they would get “Saturday, New York, ”
Here are pictures of mine…I know they didn’t really look formal, but many people threw them out, too. Oy!
http://sayingidoinnewyork.blogspot.com/2010/11/save-dates.html
However, I got many compliments on them from friends. I think the main problem was our older generation invitees…because they aren’t used to save the dates…it’s a relatively newer idea.
It is what it is….and I still think they’re important.
I didn’t bother sending out Save The Dates because, well, I knew most of our guests would have NO CLUE what they were – thus the annoying phone calls and questions. We are sticking with the regular invitation and saving ourselves the hassle. lol
@Guest Laura_@, just curious, what does SAT mean? I would have been one of your confused guests! 
My guests weren’t confused by our save the dates, but probably because we spelled it out for them. I was surprised by how few people even mentioned they received them. After slaving away, it’s nice to hear when your guests like your hard work.
@Guest Laura, sorry just reread your comment, I get that SAT NY was your abbreviation… obviously, I’m just as confused as your guests.
Even when you put “SAVE THE DATE” and “FORMAL INVITATION TO FOLLOW” people will think it’s an invitation, start asking how many people they will invite, and complain that there’s no way to RSVP. I think STDs and invitations were the most frustrating part of my wedding planning!
My in-laws got a save the date while we were engaged and had no clue what it was, so we were warned to write these things, otherwise I would never have known to do it. Oh, and as far as room blocks, our guests all waited until the last minute, too.
We had our RSVPs in postcard form and people (multiple people… more than one) took our stamped, addressed postcard, put it in their own envelope with their own stamp, re-addressed it and sent it back. People are clueless when it comes to weddings. And mail.
I just sent mine out today, I am fully anticipating a flurry of confused phone calls
I had “save the date” and “formal invitation to follow” written on mine and people STILL asked when they should RSVP. But hey, it’s better than the alternative! (Which would be everyone ignoring them!)
I did! I had one guest that lost the save the date (when his car was stolen), so he felt so bad when I saw him and asked if I would mind giving him the details again because he lost it. I laughed and said that all the details would be in the invite
I realized that LITERALLY a week before I was supposed to send mine out! It said “Save the Date” in very subtle, small letters and I was SO afraid people wouldn’t get it that I begged JLMould on Etsy to make me a rush stamp that said “formal invitation to follow.” I was totally panicking. Ahhh, the wedding blog bubble.
We didn’t do save the dates for that very reason, but on the hotel block front – most of my FAMILY members didn’t book rooms until the week before and several people didn’t use the block. I had to beg our hotel to extend the block for us so people could be added with the advantage of the cheaper room. We were also on the hook for a number of rooms within the block so I literally called several people to see if they booked rooms and if they had I called the hotel and moved them to the block. Hassle, Hassle, Hassle
We are doing Save the Dates, and we’ve had a lot of fun (and frustration) putting them together. However, we are no where close to sending them out when we wanted to (before the holidays) and are even still waiting on a few straggler addresses. Not to mention that we still haven’t finalized our text and design yet. Oy! The good thing about doing the Save the Dates, though, is that the headaches I’m dealing with now related to the guest list and layout, is that I won’t be dealing with these issues as much when it comes time to do the invitations. (must find that silver lining)
I am definitely waiting for (but not looking forward to) the phone calls and emails from folks not knowing what a Save the Date is.
only like 30 people of the 100 who got our STDs actually made hotel reservations prior to getting their invitations. it was frustrating, especially since the hotel was completely booked outside of our block!
I’m glad to know that there is confusion across the board with STDs!
@WonderTwin: Oh yeah, I was searching for addresses right down to the wire.
We put save the date and some people still thought they were invitations. It also took people FOREVER to book rooms.
I was sure to include the words ‘formal invitation to follow’ on our save the dates. I haven’t heard from anyone who was confused, so hopefully they got the idea.
Mrs. Zebra, Providence, RI Age and Occupation: 24 Marketing/Costume Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26 Management/Firefighter Engagement Date: December 12, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2011 Venue: The Providence Biltmore About Me: I'm a small town New England girl with an affinity for procrastination, crossing the proverbial line, and putting her foot in her mouth. I'm a lover of history, all seasons, sewing and Incubus. I design costumes on the side for my old high school's theatre department, which is where I met my sexy man. Our motto for our Big Fat Lebanese/Portuguese/Irish near-300 person wedding is "the more the merrier"! We are marrying in a Catholic ceremony and are hammering out the details of our Victorian-inspired reception.
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