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See this face?
This pretty much sums up what happens whenever I start to talk wedding. I have started to realize that this kind of conversation needs to wait until after dinner…or else…
He turns into this cranky pants creature (and I’m sure once he knows this picture is online he will be even more cranky pants). I am starting to think that maybe wedding talk should wait longer than until just after dinner, though. Maybe we should schedule one day a week for a ”wedding date” where I have a scheduled hour of undivided wedding attention that he can fully, mentally prepare for. MOH Sweet Pea suggested this. She and her mister did it and it worked out really nicely. My only fear is that if I have to wait an entire week this might happen…
Yes, my head will explode leaving wedding ideas littered all over our office floor and Mr. Waffle will not be happy for many reasons…
I know blogging and talking with my ladies will help, but I’d rather bounce things off of my man. At the end of the day I feel his input is important in making it OUR wedding and not “my day.” He has amazing ideas in his brain and I’d like that voice to be heard! So, what’s a gal to do?
I know exactly what you mean. It feels like there’s never a right time to talk to my sweetie. It always seems to overwhelm him and he just doesn’t want to talk about it or he’ll be nice but change the subject thinking I somehow won’t notice. Best of luck and I can’t wait to find out what works!
My groom likes to be involved, but it takes him two centuries to respond to my ideas, haha. He has awesome ideas up his sleeve, though! It’s just hard to make time when both people in the relationship are busy.
ohh this could not have come at a better time! I just had this convo with my MOH yesterday (she got married this summer) and she also suggested a schedule! my FI is also in the midst of a hard core job search because he is MIS at his current employer, which makes it even worse since he’s pretty grumpy about that and also feels like he needs to focus on the job stuff (true)…and that PLUS wedding is starting to majorly stress him! I think we’re gonna try the schedule, although I agree with you that only one night per week wouldn’t work because then I would explode (love your drawing!) - so I think we are going to aim for an hour 2 or 3 nights a week, and also schedule him some job search time, so that he can visualize when he has time to do it all. phew!
First I must say I love love love your posts!! Personally my man usually just sits there with a slightly blank stare…I usually have to repeat my questions time and time again, slowly getting louder as I repeat lol. At some point in the conversation he finally starts paying attention, then I lose him again. I guess we will just have to keep tryin!
Love your art!
the “wedding date” idea is great — i have the same problem and might have to give that one a try!!
we do this, “wedding wednesday” is the night we try and tackle things together on our to-do list, it works pretty well, and the Hive keep me sane the rest of the week! 
Haha great pics and your drawing in this post! I get a look a bit like that too…a look that says “why do we need to talk about this NOW? We have so much time”…little do they know all the crazy details that we stress about! But I like this idea about a “weekly wedding date” and may have to use it myself!
I think this will be key for me and my guy because all I would like to talk about is wedding but I know that he would be on overload if that was really the case. We tried to set a specific “wedding talk” day but it didn’t really stick or he would always want to reschedule. But I think this time around, we really need to work to stick to the date we pick to make sure that each of stays sane.
We tried the once a week thing, but I too needed more input. In order not to overwhelm him (and for me to feel like I was able to get input), we decided on boiling things down to small tasks. So each day I’d ask him about one specific thing that I wanted his thoughts on (sometimes more). It helped enormously!
Instead of once a week, I bring up one topic per day. Once we’ve finished that topic, we don’t discuss anything else. So I’ll say - “Hey do you want to do the mother/son, father/daughter dance?” He’ll say, Not really. And I’ll say, okay, awesome, and check it off my list of things to discuss. It feeds my need to talk about the wedding and his need to never talk about the wedding.
I like the idea of discussing one thing per day. Usually it’s tough to try to cover a bunch of items because we go off on tangents.
I love your drawings!!
This CRACKED. ME. UP. It’s so true! Manther (that’s Man-Panther) will listen for a little bit, but after a while, he starts getting that glazed-over look. Last night he told me that if he had to look at one more flower, his head was going to explode. But if I don’t get to TALK about flowers all day long, MY head explodes! Such a delicate balance. Good luck!
We have meetings for half an hour every night. (Some nights, if we’re too tired, we skip it). I used to ask questions somewhat randomly, and it was too scattered for either of us to remember what had been decided. Having to work within a certain time frame each night has made us much more productive. The structure makes us focus on one aspect and 30 minutes isn’t overwhelming.
I don’t know how you two travel, but my fiance and I end up riding in his car together for maybe twenty minutes at most, a couple of times a week. I use that time to chat with him. He’s somewhat distracted by the music and the road so its not all WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING and we can bounce ideas off each other. I also carry a notepad in my giant purse in case we get inspired durnig one of these talks.
We talk as many times per week as I would like to, but I have to set up a meeting. I have to give basic ideas of what I will want to talk about along with a suggested time and date. At first, I was irritated with this because it felt like I was a co-worker instead of fiancee, but I’ve discovered that with some advanced notice (even if it’s only a few hours), my fiance has many more ideas to share and listens better to my ideas. In the end, it ends up being more productive, so I’ve learned to deal with the work-like model we have adopted.
unfortunately for me I just couldn’t convince my guy to care ahead of time, no matter how much I said that it would stress me out to worry about it later. He got really fully on board with only a month left. sigh. and good luck!
Oh man, Waf, I’m in the same boat!
The only problem is I only see Mr. G one night a week, so if you we don’t talk wedding on that night, we never will! We can talk on the phone, but then I can’t elbow Mr.Giraffe when I see his attention fading hahaha.
My husband would zone one whenever I talked wedding. I just had to suck it up and make decisions myself.
I think that idea is great, and once my planning really really starts, I’m sure I will have to implement this as well. In all honesty us brides could talk wedding alll day long, so I guess its only fair to set a date!
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Mrs. Waffle, Austin Age and Occupation: 31, Costumer/Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Animator Engagement Date: July 27, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2011 Venue: Hummingbird House About Me: My life is pretty much spent in a sea of fabric, paint, sequins and drama. When I’m not working, I play on a trivia team, take Broadway dance classes, read, buy shoes, and occasionally geek out on video games. I am an American girl who loves all things British and Mr. Waffle is a Brit who loves all things American...I guess it was meant to be!
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