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Picking my favorite post of all-time was really a difficult task for me; my blogging experience with Weddingbee has been so spectacular that selecting a singular piece of writing to look back on seemed impossible. However, after much deliberation, I want to revisit one of my earliest posts.
After getting engaged, I found it very enlightening to hear the comments that other people made regarding Mr. Buttons and me. My husband proposed to me after a [relatively] short time period, so we had a few skeptical comments shot our way. I really loved this post because I not only was able to explain my relationship, but I was also able to hear back from readers regarding their courtship stories. In the end, everyone is different: you can be dating someone for 8 months or 8 years before getting engaged…love is beautiful and mysterious that way!
~~~
Mid-October marked the one-year anniversary of the Buttons’ first date. Ah, so if you begin to do the math you realize… Mr. Buttons and I have only been together for a little over a year at this point, and we’ve been engaged for 6 of those months. So yes… we dated for only 8 months before he proposed!
I suppose you could say that we had a whirlwind romance, but nothing about it was rushed.
From the very start, Mr. Buttons and I clicked. Conversation came naturally, we share core values, and we were fortunate enough to have a lot of time to spend together because of our work schedules. Marriage came into consideration quicker than I would have normally expected, but it felt right, and we both knew that we’d found each other for a reason. And hey, when you know… you know!
In comparison to many of my friends/acquaintances’ relationships, I realize that this is a rather brief amount of time. I have had a good deal of skepticism pass my way since our engagement was announced, and I do try to take it in stride. My favorite is when people congratulate me/us and comment how much they can tell that we are in love, etc… and then they ask the inevitable question…
“So, how long have you two been together?”
“Just a little over a year now…”
A look of confusion/surprise crosses over their faces, and I typically hear something like, “oh…wow!” or, “you didn’t waste much time, did you?”
Sigh.
So, this begs the question…how long is long enough to “know” that someone is the person you are meant to be with? Is there a specific amount of time that must elapse before you officially are bequeathed with the ability to determine this? Is there a little alarm clock that suddenly “goes off” in your head to let you know that enough time has passed, and you are officially allowed to consider marriage? I think not. Some couples are together for years before a proposal, some just a few months. My parents had a shorter courtship than Mr. Buttons and I did, and they have been happily married for years! And, on the flip side, I know other couples that were together for years before they were married, as well! That is the beauty of life, right? At least, I’d like to think so! Love comes in so many shapes and forms, and what is right for one person isn’t necessarily right for others.
I’d like to just throw it out there that I personally focus on how much my fiancé and I are in love, not the amount of time we’ve had together. If you have been with your significant other for years, and you are still as madly in love as the first time you met, that is fantastic! Or, if you have only been together for a short time and you are still feeling the butterflies… that is wonderful, as well! I know I still get them when I see Mr. Buttons.
So… here’s to love, in every way, shape, and form it comes in! Enjoy it.
How long have you been with your SO? Did anyone else have a whirlwind romance like Mr. Buttons and I did?
My first husband and I were engaged after three months of dating, and married four months after that.
We were together for five years before we split.
I don’t think the split had anything to do with the shortness of our engagement; rather, we just drifted apart as people sometimes do.
I think that when you know, you know… whether it’s after six months, a year, two years, three years…
My husband were together 3.75 years before getting engaged and got married a year later. We will celebrate our 5 year (dating) anniversary in exactly 2 months from now! Part of the reason why we waited is because we were in college for a good portion of our relationship and we wanted to be established, independent adults before making a lifelong commitment. However, I agree with you that there is no “right” amount of time that people should be together before getting married. Whatever works for you is what works!
There’s no winning - you get the “wow, you didn’t waste any time, huh?” and we got the “isn’t it time you guys got married??” when we’d been together five years… It’s not up to everyone else to decide when is right… it’s up to you and your significant other!
We dated 15 months before getting engaged but I think it only took about 2 months before we were talking about it (and oddly not freaking each other out). Since then we’ve been on the 9-month plan. 9 months of engagement, 9 months of marriage before pregnancy, 9 (ish) months of pregnancy, and even though he wants back-to-back babies I told him the soonest I’d think about it is 9 months. 
I’m with you, though–whatever works for people.
we only dated 6 months before getting engaged, so we were pretty much in the same situation as you. when you know, you know!
We knew about a year into our relationship we were going to get married, but didn’t get married until we were together for 5 years. Once we knew, there was no rush to get married. I wanted to finish college, and we really wanted to be able to be on our own, since we lived with his dad. we got married 6 months before I graduated, and also bought a house and moved in to it right after graduation. This is what worked for us
I loved this post of yours, because Mr.D and I had only known each other for about 5 months before we decided to get married! Yay for focusing on feelings instead of time. There is no right or set period for people, when you know… you know!
Yay for this post! I’m totally in your boat - I knew from the very beginning that we’d be in it for the long haul. Actually, I knew that I would marry him on the third date! (It was pretty terrifying.) Seven months into our relationship and we’re just beginning to announce our engagement to our friends and family. It’s been hard, because my parents have voiced alot of skepticism, even though they had a similarly short dating period followed by a short engagement. (I think they went from first date to married in a year, and celebrated 30 years of marriage in October.) FH and I are planning a long engagement, so I’m hoping they come around to the idea.
Mr. Kayak and I had only dated eight months when we got engaged. We were married 11 months after we were engaged. Kind of quick but it felt right and it still does. I might have liked a bit longer engagement for planning purposes and to have had my wedding in my favorite season, but there were good reasons for marrying when we did.
I love this post and am glad to see it again! We got engaged one year to the day we meet. Everyone’s comments used to bother me, but I agree I in no way feel like we rushed our relationship, we both knew what we wanted in a spouse. We bought a house after 10 months of knowing each other, and were engaged after 12!
We dated for 18 months before getting engaged–we got a lot of stupid comments.
“OMG! You guys got engaged so QUICKLY….geez…”
“OMG! FINALLY! We were wondering when you two were going to get engaged”’…
It was at that point, that I realized the wedding planning process would be FILLED with stupid comments!
Personally, I would expect a proposal within a year of dating. While insanely short courtships increase your likelihood of divorce, so do insanely long ones. It’s important to have enough time to make a rational, rather than simply emotional decision, but it is also important that you don’t feel hesitant about it.
A lot of it depends on life circumstances, too. Everyone’s situation is different. It’s just important to make thoughtful, rational decisions that work for you.
This post totally speaks to me! We too were engaged 8 months after we met, and when he purposed he said when you know, you know…and it’s true we knew, like you, right away.
We will have been together a little over three years by the time we get engaged, but I’ve known him for ten years! I knew before we even got together that if we ever did it would be forever. I would have been willing to get married a lot sooner, but in some ways, I am glad we have waited.
I have a lot of friends who have been with their boyfriends for 5, 6, 7 years. Most of them started dating in college, and that makes since. My boyfriend and I started dating in our mid twenties, so we were still working to get our careers to a stable point and just kind of fully live out and enjoy that “unmarried” stage in our life. I think we are able to fully know after this much time exactly what we are getting ourselves into and are not blinded so much by that initial feeling of love, which in some cases can let you turn a blind eye to things that will drive you crazy after they are repeated daily for fifty years. I am not saying shorter or longer is good, but at least for me, I feel like the extra time will work in our favor.
while we were nearing the 2-year mark when we got engaged, i was completely sure of it all by our 6-month mark. having been a serious commitment-phobe, and notably anti-marriage (for myself, not rudely) previously, no one could have been more surprised than myself! the change was a bit of a shock, so i’m glad i had a bit more time to adjust before she proposed, but i kind of knew i would have said yes at any point.
I “knew” within two weeks of meeting my love. We met through friends when I was in college, home on winter break. I’d had no intention of starting a relationship, much less with someone from home (my school was far away)! But we had the same instant connection that you described. I can remember telling one of my school friends that I knew it sounded crazy, but I’d just met someone that I was going to fall in love with. We’ll hit our five-year anniversary next month and are better than ever. He’s planning a spring proposal, and we’ll be engaged for at least a year or two. That’ll put us around 7-8 years of togetherness before marriage. I think that’s reasonable because both of us needed to grow up a lot before we could even discuss marriage in a serious way! But everybody’s different; we were much less mature than most!
Saying something like “you didn’t waste much time, did you?” would never cross my mind. I think it borders on rude. That and “aren’t you a little young to get married?” - which is what I always got. 
If two people are in love, that’s all that matters.
Mr. Buttons + Mrs. Buttons = True love forever.
Ours is whirlwind too, but at the same time also not, because we had a very “condensed” time together, LOL. Few people expressed doubt or surprise once they got to know both of us though.
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Mrs. Buttons, Clearwater, FL Age and Occupation: 24, "Working on it" Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Financial Services Engagement Date: June 13, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: Carlouel Yacht Club About Me: I'm a self proclaimed perfectionist and a professional nomad (seriously, I've lived in TX, WI, MI, FL, NC, and now VA!). I love wine, cooking, curling up with a good book (nerd alert!), spoiling the furbaby, and of course, the wonderful Mr. Buttons! We are planning a lighthearted and whimsical wedding (with a good deal of DIY projects) in Clearwater, Florida, but from a distance of 800 miles away! We are looking forward to sharing our day with our family and friends, and most importantly, starting our lives together as husband and wife!
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