Weddingbee Blog

You know those sitcoms where the where the wife is gorgeous and clever, and the husband is awkward and only attractive in a cute-if-you’re-into-that kind of way? But at least he’s funny?

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That’s Mr. PD and me. Only he is the gorgeous wife, and I am the awkward husband who is always getting into sit-com-y situations.

It’s lucky for me that modern pop psychology says you shouldn’t keep score in relationships. Because I would be LOSING. If I were to call Mr. PD “my better half,” it would not be cutesie. It is to be factual.

I’m a girl full of whims. They float into my life like brilliant red balloons, and I grab them and go along as far as they’ll take me. Sometimes I am the picture of domesticity, sometimes I’m all…wild-women-never-get-the-blues! Maybe he’ll take me out on a date and I’ll wear a demure dress. Or maybe a floral skirt and cowboy boots. Or work out clothes. Who knows? Sometimes I work late into the night. Sometimes I spend all evening watching Dawson’s Creek and online shopping instead. Sometimes I will insist that my bleak mood could only possibly be broken by dancing around the living room to Ke$ha. Or Sam Cooke. Or whoever.

And Mr. PD—the miracle of my erratic life—dances right along. He rolls with it, all of it—and this is possibly the greatest kindness that anyone has ever shown me. They are words that often cross my lips- sorry I’m such a mess. He shakes his head and says that I’m not. And you are certainly never boring. He does not try to talk me out of my fancies. He wants to come along, and it is nice to have a companion.

I’m telling you this because we spend a lot of time talking about marriage and weddings, but I wanted to throw in some regular, old relationship talk. There are times when I’m asked about how we make it work and what goes on between us that keeps us together and happy. I’m afraid my answer is utterly unhelpful.

I have peered into the clockwork of our relationship—the grinding metal cogs and wheels—and I have looked for the part that makes it run so smoothly. And it is so clear. The best part of our relationship is him.

He brings his A-game all the time, and it makes me want to be better. So much of my partnership skills are learned from him and his behavior—never his words—challenge me to be better. I try my best, and I do have some really good moments. But I’m still the weakest link.

…except I’m not, as far as he’s concerned, which is a phenomenon I can’t explain. All of the things I’ve said above? He would say them about me. We see each other’s flaws—we see them up-close—and we still think the sun shines out of each other. There are nights when we stay up late as the world falls dark, in the warmth of a little house, talking and laughing and marveling that we have found this tiny bit of divinity in each other.

It seems to me that relationships work out for a number of reasons, including lots of communication and a sound understanding of commitment. But, for us, at least, our relationship works in part because we’re good together. Even before we got to this place of “lifelong,” our natural personalities laid flush. We met, and he got me. And I got him. So we get each other for always, and it is awesome.

Why does your relationship work?