Weddingbee Blog

Over two months passed until I decided to dare to go dress shopping again, and I was still searching out dress photos online during this hiatus. I still liked Lasara, but I was horrified that I could like a dress that cost that much money. I was starting to wonder if I only liked it at the time because mum and MIL liked it so much. I remember them saying it flattered me, but looking at online photos, it didn’t look terribly flattering on the model’s waist, and it looked a little like it was falling down around the boob area.

I got this crazy idea in my head that it looked like too much like my grad dress.

For the record, my grad dress did have flowers on it, had a fitted top, and it did go all the way down to the ground, but the similarities end about there. From what I remember, the flowers were flat applique in grey and pink…

Grad date cropped out to protect the innocent.

My plan for this round of dress shopping was to meet bridesmaid A at S2 Bridal to show her the two dresses I liked most so far. Then we’d hop in her car and head out to two more bridal stores that I hadn’t been to yet. I wanted to show her the top two contenders and get her honest opinion, before she knew anything about the price of them. I came out of the dressing room in Lasara, and  her reaction was, “Wow.” That reassured me, and made me think that maybe I didn’t just like it because mum and MIL did. I’ll admit it, I think I was worried that the dress might be “mumsy.” I also tried on Watters Carmen again to show it to her—the verdict was that it was nice, but not as nice as Lasara.

From there (fastest bridal appointment ever!) we zipped down south to The Bridal Centre.

Now, in the two months between these appointments, I’d been looking at dresses online, and I thought my tastes were changing: I was looking at Grecian goddess gowns. I knew that no matter what I got, it would need to be flowy. I had a few favourites from LaSposa:

LaSposa Dahir

LaSposa Lancaster

I loved the streamers coming from the shoulders on these, and that they are super-flowing. Then, I found the the Holy Grail of flowing wedding dresses:

Amy Kuschel’s Ashbury

Little birdies burst into song when I look at these photos, even now. It flows, it’s a little bit hippie, it’s got a great back, it’s got a kind of a sweetheart neckline…plus, Amy Kuschel is based in San Francisco, and the dresses are made there, too! We got engaged in San Francisco, so it must be a sign!

This Amy Kuschel dress was the reason I booked the appointment at the Bridal Centre. They are one of 2 stores in Canada that carry Amy Kuschel, the other one being in Toronto. I had to send in my appointment request online, and I mentioned this dress in the comments field.

When A and I got there, we waited in the lobby for a bit. The Bridal Centre is big. Like, really big (they also do tuxes and grad dresses, too). We were having fun giggling at a neon pink and black plaid and boa-draped grad dress when our consultant came for us. We were taken upstairs, and the lady asked us all the questions you see asked on Say Yes to the Dress. Budget, shape—everything. I stressed that I wanted something flowy, not huge, I told her there was already a dress out there for me that was a small A-line, and I mentioned Ashbury again. She said she’d go grab a dress to start us off with. Now, the Bridal Centre didn’t allow photos. They also didn’t leave the labels in the dresses (I looked!). The first dress was…ENORMOUS. I couldn’t move. If I’d knelt down, the skirt would have swallowed me. This was not what I’d asked for. After that she was better, and pulled (mostly) smaller dresses. I kept asking about Ashbury. Finally, she came back and said that they didn’t have that particular dress in stock. Wah! She did pull an Amy Kuschel dress for me called Margherita.

Mmmmargherita

This dress is made out of the softest material A or I had ever felt. It was silky and gauzy and amazing. I couldn’t stop petting it while I was wearing it! A and I agreed (when the consultant was off getting more dresses) that it bumped the Watters Carmen out of second place. But, it was much more expensive than Carmen, and if I was going to spend that much on a dress…I’d get Lasara.

I probably tried on about 10-12 dresses there before we left. We had planned to go to a third store next, but instead decided to go for bellinis. In our defense, Cactus Club is exactly opposite our third bridal stop.

After our third unsuccessful stop, I took a couple weeks to contemplate. I kept wishing I could try on Ashbury, I kept thinking it might be the dress. And I kept remembering A’s face when she saw me in Lasara. Mum and MIL’s face when they saw Lasara. How they both encouraged me to go for it, no mind to the price. I fantasized about flying back to San Francisco to try on Ashbury. I wished I’d looked for wedding dresses when we were there, the day after we were engaged! Ha!

I realized that I needed to let Ashbury go, because I was not going to buy it sight unseen, and after two weeks of wrestling with this inner monologue, I was leaning towards Lasara. I let myself imagine for a week that Lasara was my wedding dress, and at the end of that week I was still happy, so one Monday afternoon around 5PM I headed over to S2 and plonked down a nice chunk of money. Then I went and got groceries, as it’s right by our Safeway. I had fun talking to people the next day at work:

“What did you do on Monday?”
“Oh, you know, bought milk, bananas, butter, a wedding dress…”

It was a long trail to get my dress, going to a total of 6 or 7 stores and trying on dress after dress. I had to come to terms with my guilt about my apparently expensive taste, guilt over spending other people’s money on a dress I’m only going to wear once. Guilt over the thought that if Mr. CB’s mum hadn’t offered the balance of the money, I don’t know if I would have ponied up the extra myself. Wasn’t that one of the things I disliked about Say Yes To The Dress brides?! I even had a bit of guilt about not buying something from the lovely Phyllis. When I was at home fussing over what dress, I even got the courage to tell Mr. CB how expensive the dress I liked was. I think it surprised him, but he was supportive of what I wanted. Knowing I had his support really helped me.

This is the story of how a reluctant  bride learned to let guilt go, and love the dress that was meant for her.

The back of MY dress!