- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
The hardest part of planning this wedding, or as my dad referred to it the other day “that little party you’re organizing,” is the guest list.
Mr. Cheetah and I want a semi-intimate wedding. We want to include all of our family and closest friends, we want to know (and like) all the guests, and we want it small enough where we can at least greet everyone personally. Out first draft of the guest list was around 150. Our venue maxes out around 140—it seemed like a perfect fit. But we should’ve known it wasn’t going to be so easy. We realized that we had forgotten some people from our original guest list. Plus there were obligatory invites we overlooked. And of course our parents keep wanting to add…and add, and add…So we are left with a very tight A-list, and an ever growing B-list. For some reason we even have a short C-list. Don’t get me started on the dreaded plus-one debate. Don’t even get me started.
We have a bunch of friends hovering on the B-list, and I find myself avoiding them. I don’t want to talk about the wedding around them or indicate in any way whether or not they are invited—since we don’t even know yet. I feel so guilty that I haven’t made plans with any of the “B-listers” in a couple months. I’m likely over thinking everything; I’m sure most of our friends would understand and may not even expect to be invited. I’ve realized that it’s just guest-list paranoia, so I’m going to stop worrying about it.
Is anyone else suffering from guest-list paranoia?
The horrible +1 debate, probably the most awful part of the guest list. Well that and kids and then if you combine them it makes me sick. I understand where you’re coming from on avoiding friends…it is miserable when you just don’t know if they can fit!
oh lord, YES! the thing that has blown my mind the most are the people who ASSUME they are invited, and say things like “oh, I just can’t wait!” - I’m sorry, what?? I would never have assumed I was invited to anyone’s wedding. we already had to draw a line on +1s, and FI and I both have huge families, so our guest list is at 250 already (yikes), so I too am finding myself avoiding friends (more like acquaintances) that we normally might see once every few months just to hold off on the wedding talk or comments. people are crazy about wedding invitations!!
OMG, Our venue holds 80 with the dance floor, there are 97 on the list. Is it wrong to pray that people don’t come?
Yes…I hate the guest list. A bunch of people in our families seem to not understand why we can’t just invite the entire extended family! I don’t want people I don’t know (or have seen a handful of times in my life) at my wedding, and especially not at the price we are paying for our reception. Our list is sitting around 150 right now, and that is pretty much bare minimum too…we’ve had to sacrifice a lot of our friends to even just allow immediate families (and that is only including must-have plus ones like engaged, living together, etc). So much stress you cause us all, guest list!
we are having a really hard time deciding on our list. We have a yes, a maybe and a possibly but not likely list. It also doesnt help that our families keep adding and verbally inviting people that we were not going to invite. It is soooo annoying!
Ugh, it’s excruciatingly stressful! Our B and C lists are growing too and my mom keeps trying to add more of her friends and I keep having to say Noooo. We’re also sending a handful of invitations to Waffle’s friends from England and Australia (thinking that there’s no way they would actually say yes to coming 1/2way around the world for a wedding) and they are all saying yes. Yikes! Cringe!
I tried to deal with it by posting on facebook, simple updates. One stating “Finally finished my Save-The_dates and sent them out! One more thing crossed off the list”, I figured this way people knew if they were invited or not and it took care of the awkwardness.
Between FH’s large family and my family’s insistence on inviting relatives that aren’t speaking to us, our guest list is over our max at 148 (we were intending for 80-100, 125 max). To boot, I was only able to make room for 1 HS friend out of the core group. We’ve been using each other’s weddings as mini-reunions and I feel really bad that I’m dropping the ball on that end. The fact is that we simply can’t afford to extend the list anymore. Even without the possibility of adding my HS friends if enough “nos” come in, I’m still praying for about 20% of the list not being able to make it. Oh these wicked games we play.
I so completely understand you.. especially the avoidance of those you don’t know if you’ll be inviting or not. It’s the worst!!
This weekend I just had my fiance’s brother’s friend (that I have met 3 times in the eight years we have been together) invite himself +1 to our wedding. Not even like his brother’s best friend, more of a casual pal. He asked when our wedding was and put it in his blackberry and later researched plane tickets. Seriously . . . awkward. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he wasn’t invited. . .
I am in the same boat. Our room holds 200 anymore and we have to go upstairs to a nicer room but we lose the patio. With that I had to cut out more then half of my bookclub. It is really tough not to talk about the wedding when people ask but it is uncomfortable when it is brought up in front of non-invited people.
YES! This the part that’s stressing me out the most. Actually…the only thing stressing me out. We can have 100 max…and I have a large family. We’re getting married in Sonoma, so I thought that would help cut the number of people who would actually come, but it’s like everyone is SO EXCITED that I’m giving them an excuse to finally take the wine country vacation they’ve always talked about. Sigh.
I hate hurting anyone’s feelings!! I am limiting all wedding talk and on Facebook have answered questions by referring to “our very small” wedding in hopes that people won’t expect to be invited. Ugh!
ugh, I hear ya!! I spend more time than I can think about wringing my hands (literally or metaphorically) about people’s feelings with the guest list… we’re the first of our friends to get married, but we have huge families, so it’s not feasible to invite everyone we could ever want… ah! more hand-wringing commences!
The List is awful. I’m afraid to mention the wedding because people who aren’t invited talk about it like they are, and I can’t think of a nice way to tell them they’re not on the list when other people we’re hanging out with are!
I just did the calligraphy on my envelopes last night and it was definitely hard to finally accept how many people we were inviting. Originally I only wanted a small wedding with immediate family. That changed into us just inviting all our family & the friends that are in the wedding party. Which would have been 80 people. We booked the venue with a room that holds 80-100 people, which we thought was perfect. Then of course the list got bigger and bigger. As of right now the list of envelopes I addressed equals about 120 people and that doesn’t include some people his mom still wants to invite & the foreign exchange students he wants to invite. I’ve drawn the line though and I really don’t care who hates me but no one else is getting invited. I don’t even want a B list because personally the way I see it the less people that come the better. I won’t get into the details but I really wouldn’t be upset if more then half the guests RSVP’d no, lol.
I totally feel you! I’m the most stressed by this for sure. He has a big family, and since his parents aren’t helping pay for the wedding, they’re adding just about anyone they can think of. We finally had to just give them a total number of invites they were allowed because my parents were about to lose it. My least favorite part of engagement so far is when someone you weren’t planning on inviting notices your ring and/or FB relationship status and begins to INSIST that you invite them to your wedding. At first it seems like they’re joking…until the third time they mention it! Even though I barely know most of the people who have done this (around 10 in the last week!) I can’t get over how rude it is to attempt to invite yourself to someone’s wedding.
@Charcole2011: That is the worst!! I don’t know how people can just assume they’re invited…and the awkward lying that ensues is miserable.
*raises hand* Paranoia here! I’m not looking forward to hurt feelings.
Major paranoia. Is there an official club for this? Can I join?
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Ms. Cheetah, Los Angeles/Palm Springs Age and Occupation: 31, Artist, Educator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, TV Finance Engagement Date: April 2010 Wedding Date: March 2011 Venue: The Viceroy About Me: I’m a silly, sassy lady with a compulsion to create. I love to sing and dance, despite the fact that I lack any talent doing either. I somehow manage to be messy and organized at the same time. I like to spend my days road tripping, watching '80s movies, reading true crime books, buying things on sale, sending postcards, playing board games, dining at food trucks, snuggling, and drinking ginger ale. I have a weak spot for all things sweet, especially Mr. Cheetah! I’m a Chicago girl and he’s a Nor Cal boy but we love living in the City of Angels. After 10 years as a couple we are planning a fun-filled semi-destination wedding in Palm Springs. Hope you enjoy the ride!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics