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Hey there, hive. I’d like your input on this one. Allow me to elaborate…We have friends who are celebrating their engagement with a fairly fancy-schmancy party (woohoo, I love fancy parties!) in a few weeks. Great, grand, wonderful, right? Right, but I want everyone’s opinions on something—the gift for the party.
I was browsing their registries yesterday (one was at Crate & Barrel and the other was at Bloomingdale’s) and couldn’t quite come up with a suitable present. (I’m mega-weird about presents. Don’t ask.) While the stuff at Crate & Barrel was nice, it lacked a certain j’ne sais quoi. I guess I think presents should be special, something splurge worthy, and nothing from C & B really jumped out screaming at me as the perfect gift.
Which leaves the Bloomingdale’s registry. Suh-weeeet! Well, here’s the thing:They registered (as many couples do) for a set of fine china for twelve. Beautiful stuff (from Bernardaud—yum), but fairly expensive for a plate.
See? Suuuuuper pretty plates! The bride has excellent taste. (At least, I’m assuming the bride is the one who picked these out, although I suppose I could be wrong on that.)
First off, let me be explicitly clear and say that in no way am I judging the couple for their pricey registry choices. If anything, all it’s making me do is wish we had registered for fine china (and about a million other things—damn me and my principled, anti-presents, pre-wedding self!), but we didn’t.
Since it’s an engagement party and not the actual wedding, I’d like to keep our gift in the $100 price range. And as I mentioned before, I prefer to give presents that are something the receiver would not buy for themselves instead of just a random kitchen item or whatever. In short, I’d like to get them some of their fine china because I know if I had registered for it, I’d be hella excited to actually start receiving pieces.
So here’s my question: Is it weird to gift the couple with…one plate? See, it sounds strange, right? I mean, they registered for a service for twelve, so most likely everything’s going to come in bits and pieces and not as a whole. (Unless they have extremely generous wedding guests, in which case I will be very, very jealous. Don’t judge me—I like presents and shiny new toys. Shush.) I could also do, um, three bread plates or two coffee cups.
What do you think? Would you think it was bizarre to receive a single plate as a present, even if said plate did reach the gift-giver’s generous budget? Or should I just suck it up and pick out a few things from good ol’ Crate & Barrel? If you registered for fine china, I’d be especially curious to hear your opinion on the matter!
Has anyone else had this conundrum before? What did you do—buy the single plate or look for something else?
I don’t think its weird to get one plate. Bernadaud is not cheap, yall.
I would also add that, at least where I’m from, gifts are not the standard for engagement parties. For showers, yes, but I will say that we had a party a few weeks ago with 100 plus attendees and only received one gift. It also may very well have been an early WEDDING present and not a gift for the engagement pary per se. I guess we’ll know that after the wedding when we do or don’t receive another gift from that couple.
So thats a long-winded way of saying that I certainly think a plate is more than fine as I wouldn’t expect to receive anything at all at an engagement party.
I did not register for china but I think if I had I’d be thrilled to get a single plate. Obviously this stuff is expensive and they know it– thats kinda why they registered for it instead of just picking it up for themselves right? Its unlikely that anyone is going to be buying them a whole set so I’d be really happy to get any pieces I could one at a time. If everyone bought one plate (or two cups) for them, they’ll get they’re fancy china!
I vote for two coffee cups - a tad less weird than one plate. But I would be thrilled to start receiving my China pieces, and she knows how expensive it is, so I’m sure she’s expecting to receive it piece by piece.
My aunt was telling me that when she got married they registered for expensive China and hardly anyone gifted it to them, so her MIL sent them one place setting every year for Christmas. I think people realize that China is pricey and doesn’t come all at once!
You could do the 2 coffee cups with some whole coffee beans. Totally cute gift for an engagement party.
If I received 1 plate as a gift, I’d be thankful. I wouldn’t think it weird. China is expensive and if 1 plate is all you can afford, then I say go for it. When you wrap it up you can put it in a beautiful display with colored tissue paper in a pretty box and it won’t look weird in the box all by itself. After all, this is an engagement gift, not their wedding present.
I would TOTALLY do the 2 coffee cups and some really fancy-pants coffee or tea. Tea for two - cute!! 
do it.
China is pricey. I didn’t expect it all at once.
We went to awedding where the couple registered for some really expensive silver ware. A group of about 6 friends chipped in and we were able to buy them four forks. I was uneasy about such a gift but they were happy to get part of thier larger set. I only assume other guests also bought them a few pieces.
I think that’s alright.
Although I do have to share a funny story:
My mom only got one plate from her fine china registry - only one guest bothered with it, and it was too expensive for her to buy the rest - so she just takes it out to look at once in a while to this day. (it’s on display on her sideboard as well)
Anyway, hopefully your friend will have more people who will add to the collection - or the urge to finish it off herself.
I also never thought gifts were really necessary for the engagement party - especially not in the 100 $ range! Having said that, I’m sure they will be glad about receiving something from their registry. Just be clear to specify that it’s the engagement gift and not the wedding gift, as that might be confusing!
I agree with the two coffee cups, you could get the saucers too, if they’re not out of your budget.
I vote 2 coffee cups! That way if you’re the only one that gives them china for their engagement they won’t just have one plate to look at for a year before the wedding.
We received all of our plates as part of place settings (5 pieces - dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, coffee cup and saucer). I don’t know if that’s an option on her registry, but if it is, she’ll likely receive a lot of the plates that way and will have a complete set. I’d say go for one of the accessories - the sugar or creamer or a serving dish.
I think generally you’re supposed to get 2 place settings, so 2 plates, or 2 glasses, etc. One plate would be weird.
I think it would be super exciting to start getting china at an engagement party, no matter what piece. Your gift is very generous.
I think you should do the plate. Although I do agree with PP that 2 coffee cups may make a bit more sense, I think for the couple, building up the actual place settings (the plates) as opposed to the coffee cups is probably more important?
I registered for fine china. Although our stuff is NOT that expensive. I think in terms of gifts, the price range for our whole place setting is around that which FI and I would spend as a couple if we were guests. So we were assuming ours would come place setting by place setting.
We didn’t register for fine china because I didn’t think we’d have enough people who would buy it, and we would be stuck with two plates, a saucer, and a gravy boat, and nothing else. That being said, I feel like if you register for fine china, and you know how expensive it is, you are expecting to get it in teeny tiny pieces - so a plate is really just fine. And, worse comes to worse, if that is the only plate she gets, it will look lovely displayed on her wall
I was THRILLED as our fine china rolled in. We received it in chunks and piece by piece. It was super exciting no matter what. They will get tons of Crate stuff at their shower - people buy Crate stuff for showers like it’s going out of business. I vote fine china!
I think 1 plate is totally normal. I have been to parties where brides open these gifts and were very excited, not put off by the fact that there was only 1.
fine chine - do it! if we registered for fine china, i’d do a happy dance every time i got a piece…and it is SO not weird. she’s be stoked
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Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
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