Weddingbee Blog

Can I be honest with you guys? Writing a post for this series and thinking back to my high school days was…a little difficult for me. At first, anyway.

High school wasn’t so long ago for this girl. Just over three years ago, in fact. My early high school days especially connote some not-so-happy memories and feelings of inferiority, ugliness, and self-loathing. If you have been following me for awhile, you might remember that I developed an eating disorder during high school, and looking back at photos from those days could have been a dangerous trigger for me back into unhealthy thought patterns.

Notice I said “could have been.” Because after I mulled over this post for awhile, I realised that writing it didn’t have to be a negative thing. Instead, I could use it as part of my healing process. I have looked back at those days with clouded vision in the past…they were just too raw to face yet. But looking through the old photos, remembering things I had forgotten…all that showed me that there was a lot of good in those days too. After all, I did meet and fall in love with Mr E during that time!

Goofing off in computer class together, 2006

Back in high school, I was pretty much wrapped up in reading novels, doting on my pet birds, and participating in any school activities that didn’t involve sports (I pretended I was sick SO many times to get out of P.E. class…).

Soulo and I, 2004 (note the awesome farmer’s tan )….

Dressed as a “pirate wench” for Sadie Hawkins 2006

This was taken during a kids’ club our school ran for kids displaced by flooding in Papua, 2007. I’m the girl in the back with my hands on my hips, watching my brother play the “lolly shirt game”

I was a late bloomer, and wasn’t interested in boys for a long time. Then when I did get interested I really never thought I was love, romance, or girlfriend material. I just didn’t think I could be “good” enough to deserve that. But, like many high school girls, I dreamed of someone who would sweep me away.

Then I met this boy. A boy who happened to be Mr E, and as you know from my post on how we got together, he quickly became my best friend and then my boyfriend.

Yup, that’s me arm wrestling…with Mr E cheering me on in the background

He was very loud, outgoing, and made lots and lots of (sometimes inappropriate!) jokes to make me laugh. In contrast, I was too shy to even say a full sentence to him without blushing at first! But Mr E persisted and slowly he got me to talk and come out of my shell. I wasn’t so sure about this whole “him loving me” thing at first. As in, I was afraid to trust myself to him. But day after day, he came back to me, loved me, and made me smile.

But enough sappiness. I know you all just wanna look at photos, so here are some more as evidence of how, even as I was finishing up my high school days, I was growing healthier and happier in myself:

Us at Christmas Banquet 2006…see how I’m hiding from the camera?

It’s because he made me blush this red with something he said:

Oh noes! It is my signature all-over-body blush!

Junior-Senior Banquet 2007

My all time favourite grad pic—The principal had just mispronounced my name on purpose while giving me my diploma…he’s a ham.

I don’t need to deny the not-so-good parts of high school, but I can accept that they happened, enjoy the good memories I do have, and realise that I have grown so much since then. I now know that true love is more than the fuzzy feelings you get in high school. It is about commitment and sticking with each other through the good and the bad. And now I also know that my own self-worth does not have to be reliant on a man or whether I am loved by a man. It is amazing how just three years can change your mindset! Looking back I can see how far I have come with my confidence and health, and, to me, that is a real encouragement.

Senior Pic 2007

For those of you that were in high school not so long ago, have you been surprised by how much you can grow in just a short time?

*All pics are personal