Weddingbee Blog

Hello everyone! This post might seem like a strange choice since it is about all of the things that went wrong with our wedding, but it is my favourite because the comments that followed were so understanding and supportive. That sense of community is why I wanted to be a bee in the first place and why I am so proud that I was/am one! As predicted by all, I no longer think of these small mistakes when I think about our wedding day. It was a beautiful, wonderful, love-filled day, and all of our guests thought it was a perfect wedding that went off without a hitch, so that is all that matters. I loved my wedding and, most of all, that day gave my what I have now—an amazing marriage with the man I love and a beautiful baby boy. We have amazing memories and beautiful pictures of what went right that day, which is almost everything, and that is what counts.

All of that said, imagine how great I would feel about my wedding day if EVERYTHING had gone right?!? And so I still maintain that you should have someone, DOC or otherwise, who knows what your vision for your day is and can be there to handle those small details in your absence. Hopefully this post will continue to be a cautionary tale for current and future generations of new-bees!

The Pumpkins!

I have to admit that career, motherhood, and the business of just general life keeps me from visiting Weddingbee more than once every couple of months but, as I said above, I couldn’t be more proud to have been a part of this wonderful community! I hope that you are all well, and I wish you all the most beautiful wedding day you can imagine and, most of all, the happiest of marriages!

Take care,

Mrs. Pumpkin.

~~~

I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression here, I had a wonderful wedding day! However, this is a blog about the reality of weddings and it is meant to help others in their planning.  So just this once I am going to tell you about the things that went wrong for us that day, only in an effort to help you avoid the same trappings.  And then every post after this will be sunshine and lollipops, rainbows and puppy dogs, I promise!

This is quite a long post but there are lots of pictures further down so keep reading!

Our day was planned out as follows:
9:30 - everyone who was helping to decorate the island and reception site was to meet at my parents’ house to pack everything up and drive it to the site
9:45 - 10:30 - Miss Pumpkin organizes decorating and delegates jobs to her team of helpful volunteers at the restaurant, so that she can move on to the island
10:30 - 11:30 - Miss Pumpkin organizes decorating and delegates jobs to her team of helpful volunteers on the island so that she can move on to getting her hair done, etc…
12:00 - Miss Pumpkin and MOH meet hair dresser at hotel to begin getting ready
2:30 - Miss Pumpkin, MOH, Mr. Pumpkin and BM meet photographer to start pictures
4:30 - Mommas, Papas, and Grandmommas meet wedding party to take some quick photos before ceremony.
5:00 - all of us are picked up by the ferry and taken over to the island to get married!

It was a pretty good plan assuming that everyone who said that they would do something actually did it, and followed the schedule. Unfortunately, that did not happen. Almost everyone who said that they would, showed up at my parents’ house to help pack the cars–so we were all good until my MOH and I got to the restaurant and nobody else was there! Ahhhh! So, wonderful, amazing MOH and I spent the next two hours trying to decorate as much of the reception area as possible before we had to go get our hair done. I don’t know why the help did not arrive on time, and I don’t know what to tell you to help you avoid this happening to you other than to make sure that you can truly count on those people who say that they will be there to help.

Our help finally arrived at around 12:00, just as I was leaving, and I was so flustered at that point that I broke down like an idiot in front of everyone. I really wish that I had been able to keep it together, but I was so frustrated and disappointed at that point that I couldn’t hold it in anymore. So, with a big, “Where have you been?” I started sobbing. Crap! I am still so embarrassed that I did that - what a cliche, hey? Oh well - it’s done and I can’t take it back, so I guess I just have to accept the fact that I am a crybaby and move on.

This delay meant that I had about five minutes to try to explain what I wanted the newly arrived team to finish.  It also meant that I never made it over to the island to give directions there and that the poor (but extremely understanding!) hairdresser had to sit and wait in the lobby of our hotel for 45 minutes with all of his gear. I just had to hope that Mr. Pumpkin had been listening well enough over the last year to give proper instructions in the little time that he had left over there before he, too, had to leave to get ready.

I had packed everything in separate and well-marked boxes, so I was hoping that it would all go okay–and for the most part it did.  But some things were either not done at all, or not done as I wanted, and that is disappointing to me. Not in the bridezilla “It has to be perfect or I’m not happy” kind of way but in the “I have spent the majority of the past year of my life and a considerable amount of money on these details, so it is disappointing to not have them look as planned or to not even be set out” kind of way. Some instructions I gave were just flat out ignored, which is also maddening. I am really trying to not let it bother me but as I am starting to see more and more photos of the day and the details, things just pop out at me and I think, “Oh, that wasn’t how that was supposed to look” - is that horrible of me? We put so much time, effort and money into it that it is just hard to say, “oh well”. I will get over it eventually, but at the moment it still stings a bit. I now fully appreciate the need for a DOC. If you can afford one I strongly urge you to get one, it would have fixed most, if not all, of these and similar mistakes to have someone else there who really knew what I wanted and who could give proper instructions.

A short list of decorating mistakes and some pictures:

- the aisle was not lined with rose petals; they just sort of sprinkled some down randomly and we ended up with about 5 bags of unused petals

- The vase on the table was supposed to have the sprig of flowers in it. I guess they forgot to do that, because when we got up there to sign the marriage license, the vase was on its side with nothing in it. There were also no chairs for us to sit on while we were signing.

- The refreshment table was way off to the side. I had rented those tables and linens so that the table would be more over where the guests were - otherwise I would have just used the tables that were already there.

- Only about one third of the paper lanterns were placed inside the tent.  The rest were put up outside the tent on the outside of the restaurant. Why, I do not know…

- The pashmina basket was placed out all day rather than just after the sun went down. This meant that all of the pashminas were taken by the people who simply got there first, not by those who really needed them. I suppose I should be pleased that they were such a hit but some of the people who took one actually left before the sun went down so that was disappointing…

- The napkins were rolled up kind of funny and placed in the wine glasses on the table. Apparently this was done by the restaurant staff. It was fine, I just wouldn’t have done it like that and it totally takes away from our centerpieces.

- No rose petals or tealights were placed around the escort card display, wish tree, card box, or candy buffet, so the tables look pretty plain. The escort card displays were also supposed to be up on easels.

- No rose petals on the cake table, either. At least there were some tealights; however, they were the wrong colour of pink. Isn’t our cake wonderful though?! After all of the changes we made early on in the process I couldn’t have been happier with the outcome. Can you tell which layer is real and which ones are fake?

One of the most disappointing things was to find out that our ceremony programs were never handed out. The programs were so beautiful, and we had paid about $300 for them, so I am really disappointed about that oversight. I am considering including them in our thank you cards, but that would mean that I will need to buy different envelopes for the thank yous (so it will increase our postage). Any other suggestions on what I should do with them now? Here are some pictures so that at least you guys get to see them…

Also, on top of the decorating mishaps, our parents never showed up to take pictures with us before the ceremony. I still don’t know how that happened, but eventually we called Mr. Pumpkin’s dad and he said that everyone was already on the island waiting for us to arrive. That miscommunication means that neither Mr. Pumpkin nor I have any pictures of just us and our parents, besides the ones of us walking down the aisle. That’s something that I know I will miss down the road.

Not that I want to start a ranting session here but do any of you newly married brides out there have advice on how to avoid things that went wrong at your wedding?

*The 5th Dimension