Weddingbee Blog

The last few years have brought forth an abundance of overnight bags, metro rides, sets of toiletries, and patience. See, ‘cause Mr. B and I don’t live together, and we never have. We will, of course, when we get married, but not before that. It’s not because of any religious purpose or tradition either. It’s just the way the cookie crumbled.

When we first started dating, I had a roommate and Mr. B had his own apartment. We spent a lot of time going back and forth, and it wasn’t the most convenient, but it worked. We lived right down the street from each other and well (ahem…sorry, Mom!), he stayed over a lot!

Fast forward a few years, add graduation, job changes, and moves, and we’re still not living under the same roof. We contemplated it at one point; we were getting ready to do it, but both of us had the option of an alternative living situation that was a lot cheaper than living together. It became a matter of convenience versus money.

Money won.

Ironically, our friends and much of our family look at us as having done it “the right way,” but the truth is that we would have lived together if the incentive of saving a lot of money had not been there. Ultimately, we traded that savings for sanity, believe me!

It seems like we’ve always been plagued with the question of whose house we will be at. We both despise living out of a bag, and when Friday hits, we’re always caught packing and planning the weekend.

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Lugging our stuff back and forth has been hard, but I can’t say I’ve done all the traveling. Mr. B has put in hours on the metro to get to my house and spent many weekends there. I really appreciate it, too, ‘cause my house is a lot different than his; we’re loud, crowded, and known as “Grand Central Station”!

I know he’d prefer to be at his place enjoying the quiet of just the two of us (I would too!), but he realizes that we’ll never have this opportunity to live with close family again, and we might as well spend time with them while we can. After all, we do have the rest of our lives to be alone.

There are times when we opt not to see each other, too. I used to take it personally if he wanted to be at his house instead of mine, but I’ve realized there’s just no place like home. Going back and forth gets old, and I know that better than anyone. I went back and forth between my parents’ houses my entire life: Tuesday and Thursday with my dad through middle school and Wednesday through Saturday with my mom during high school.

The silver lining in all of this is that we’ve been able to finance most all of the wedding ourselves, we have a savings for the future, and the end is in sight! Our newlywed life will be full of newfound joy in finally sharing a home, going to the same bed every night, spending our weekends together, owning just one toothbrush each, and never living out of a bag again.

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Do you live with your fiancé?