Weddingbee Blog

I used to be one those people that thought weddings were ridiculous overpriced affairs that were a big waste of money (I know you’ve come across a few in your planning adventures). I didn’t have anything against weddings or marriage, I just thought that is was silly to spend a lot of money on something like that. My dad and I were shocked at the idea that anyone could spend something like $20,000 (or more!) on a wedding. Didn’t these people have better things to do with their money? How did they possibly find $20,000 worth of stuff to spend money on? I wasn’t super militant about this, and certainly didn’t spend much time thinking about it, but when I did, this is what I thought.

After being with Mr. Knitting for a few years, I began on occasion to think about what I would want in a wedding. In my mind, a city hall ceremony followed by a nice dinner for a few people sounded great. Our wedding could be a simple private ceremony that would be focused on us. Since my dad often encouraged elopement and my mom never mentioned anything to do with weddings, there was no family pressure to do anything differently.

My wedding role models:

Source

Now, a few years later, my ideas about this have changed pretty dramatically. While I still think a small city hall wedding can of course be a lovely option, it’s not the best option for us. What originally made me change my mind was the realization that Mr. Knitting’s parents and my mom would be devastated if we did that (my dad would have supported us no matter what).

The mama likes to party:

My thoughts on the value of a bigger wedding have also changed. This isn’t something I want to do simply because it’s something our parents want. I no longer see weddings as a waste of money, but instead as a really valuable celebration that is worth spending money on (if there is money available for such a thing). There is something so wonderful about all your favourite people coming together to celebrate you as a couple. While I still don’t want hundreds of strangers at our wedding, I do want our whole community there, which works out to about 100 people.

My conception of our wedding is no longer that it should be a completely private event. Instead, it should both reflect us as a couple, but also honour and take into consideration our guests. I know that they all think they’re coming to celebrate us, but for us it’s a two way street. We want to acknowledge how special they are to us by throwing this (hopefully!) great party. That’s definitely something worth spending our time and money on.

I also think the ritual of a wedding ceremony is something that has really grown in importance to me. Mr. Knitting and I have been committed to each other for years and I definitely didn’t need a ceremony or license to feel secure in this, but I do think there is something so moving about participating in a ceremony that our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc. have all participated in. Okay, fine, none of them had old FGs or a wedding watch, but the idea of committing to each other in front of all our favourite people is something that all our ancestors have done and there is something meaningful and powerful in doing the same.

My thoughts on an appropriate amount of time to spend on a wedding have changed. I still don’t think it’s a good idea to be completely consumed by one’s wedding, but it can’t be denied that I’ve spent a lot time on this wedding. This has been really great for me because it’s been this wonderful creative project. The job I’ve had for the last two years has been a good job, but it’s definitely not in a field I’m really passionate about, nor has it challenged me creatively. Planning my wedding has. I have had a wonderful time searching for ideas and then carrying out DIY projects. Yes, I could definitely have a wedding without all these details, but I have genuinely had a lot of fun doing these things. Oh and in case you’re worried I’ve been consumed by wedding planning I’ve also spent the last year becoming a pretty great cook, volunteering at 2 museums, and have taken up a pretty intense yoga practice.

From a family point of view, I also think weddings are fabulous. My family is spread across Canada and it is weddings and funerals that bring us all together these days. Obviously we all prefer weddings! We are lucky enough to have a grandmother who finances all of us flying across the country to go to each other’s weddings. It’s fantastic.

Getting to spend some wedding time with my cousins:

Planning my wedding has also brought me closer to a number of my family members. Many of them are contributing so much to our wedding and I could not be more grateful. in addition, I’ve always been exceptionally close to both my sisters, but our wedding has really brought the three of us together as a unit, and I’d say that alone has made our wedding so worth it.

Knitting sisters (none of whom knit):

As for cost, that $20,000 doesn’t seem at all as expensive as it once did. My dad and I now joke about how naive we were. If not for the fact that my dress and alterations came to $367.76, our photographer is free, there are no flowers at our wedding, our thank you cards were free, and a whole host of other things that one could spend money on at a wedding, our wedding would easily be over $20,000. Our wedding still is expensive, but I no longer see this as a ridiculous expense. For all the reasons listed above it’s an incredibly worthwhile investment.

Oh, and my dad (the one that encouraged eloping) is one of my biggest wedding helpers. Some of the things he’s done have included making jam for our favours, collecting mason jars for centrepieces, driving me to Michaels a lot (no I can’t drive), encouraging every idea I’ve ever had, and solving pretty much every problem I’ve mentioned to him. He’s pretty into this wedding. He’s also a big Weddingbee fan and reads lots of the other bees’ posts. He’s particularly partial to ones about money!

My dad and me:

Have your feelings about weddings changed over the years?