Weddingbee Blog

I am going to protect the anonymity of the below-mentioned drama queen by omitting any detailed information. This was months and months ago, before I was even engaged. I will say that it was in a department store and involved bridal accessories and a random girl I was shopping near.

They did not have what she wanted. Homegirl freaked out—a red-in-the-face, berating-the-sales-associate freak-out.

I kept glancing over at her mother like, “Um, do you want to say something here? Have her breathe into a paper bag? Tranquilizer dart, maybe?” I have basically no maternal instincts, and even I wanted to grab this girl by the arm and say, “Young lady! That is quite enough!”

Nope! The mother wanted to add her own freak-out, complete with raised volume and finger pointing, to the already over-the-top freak-out. I was embarrassed for them, and after they left, the poor salesgirl ducked into the back room. When I saw her on my way out, her eyes were red, mascara long gone.

I understand that I don’t know this bride’s life. Maybe she had some really hard stuff going on—I don’t know. But I have to say, this didn’t sit right with me, and I want to get your takes on it.

Here’s the deal: I am not a laid-back gal. I could not be described as even keeled or mellow or steady—that would be my fiance. I am erratic and emotional, and I think I can even admit that I am prone to catastrophizing. So I get it, I really do, that panicky feeling…but can’t we rise above it? I understand that it can be a stressful time and that stress can manifest in inappropriate ways. But if you’re screaming at a perfect stranger for a simple misunderstanding? I’m just gonna say it: you need to re-prioritize. Step back and ask yourself if it really matters in the big scheme of things. Is a hissy fit the best way to handle the situation?

I know, I know. I should be supportive of my fellow brides, and I am. But I’m so over hearing the phrases “It’s your day!” and “You’re the bride!” as ways to excuse me doing whatever I want. Come on. I’m the bride, you’re the bride, most people reading this website are the bride or will be soon.

There’s so much pressure to have Every Single Thing At Your Wedding Be The Most Perfect Thing For You Ever…and THAT IS A LIE. The only thing that needs to be the most perfect thing for you ever is your fiance. Everything else is icing on the cake, and I think this is a whole community of people who are working TO ice the cake. I know I am. But I wouldn’t consider my wedding day “ruined” if my earrings are slightly different than I imagined. I wouldn’t look back at my wedding day and say, “Well, it was OK, but I could have loved my shoes more.” I respect that people have different priorities, but at what cost to our behavior?

I think that, as brides, we should support each other. But I think part of that support means reminding each other that being a bride is not an excuse for nasty behavior.

Am I totally off base here?

Have you witnessed any bridal temper tantrums? Have you thrown any? Were you in a department store, and was a girl with dark brown hair gawking at your behavior? It was me!