Weddingbee Blog

After obsessing over our list, scouring online portfolios, requesting pricing/availability and generally over-thinking the entire choice, we decided on a photographer in last June—11 months before our wedding.

In September—8 months before our wedding—our photographer kind of canceled.

We had chosen a husband and wife team (henceforth known as Hub & Wife), and I felt really good about the decision. They had a great portfolio and approach, and I felt comfortable with Hub when I met up with him in Columbus. We put our deposit down over the summer, and it felt great to have it out of the way.

So what happened? The short version is that Hub’s best friend got engaged and announced a wedding on our date. After a lot of consideration, Hub felt like he had to be there. In other words, not at our wedding.

(THIS, my friends, is why you don’t check your personal email during your lunch break at work. Because you can’t guzzle gin at your desk and still work there.)

In lieu of drinking on the job, I called Mr. PD. And I laughed. I tilted my head back at my desk and laughed and laughed. Because what else could I do?

Now, as per our contract and deposit, he couldn’t just drop our wedding. I had two options: 1) Get my deposit back and start my search from scratch, 8 months away from what is (clearly) a popular wedding date or 2) Wife, who I had not met, shoots our wedding, along with whatever associate photographer is available.

The latter, I’m sure, is a fine option, and I appreciate that he didn’t leave us completely hanging. But I felt confused and overwhelmed, planted smack in the middle of a situation you read about and think—glad that’s not me. Above all though, I knew it would get worked out.

But you know what? It would get worked out because I would have to work it out. That’s why it was such a drag—because my to-do list was massive, and this was already crossed off. My bookmarked photography blogs were long since deleted. So at first, PDog and I just said…we’ll go with Wife and extra photographer. That will be fine.

But then we changed our minds, and here’s what we were thinking:

1. If the wedding Hub is going to is his best friend’s…I imagine Wife is also close with him. She will probably be distracted all day, disappointed to be missing it. In fact, I bet she’s hoping against hope that I go with another photographer. I would be if I were her.
2. If we’re paying for two photographers, I’d like them to work in tandem often. That way, I know there’s a routine, a rhythm, an established way that shots are divided. Since Hub&Wife are new to Ohio, I can’t imagine this associate photographer has shot with Wife often, if ever. Is that a fine alternative? Yes. But, to me, it’s not equivalent to what I agreed to pay for.
3. I feel like now there will be weirdness, no matter what. I’m already awkward in front of the camera…but if you were Wife, wouldn’t you walk into this feeling awkward? She was a bride once too, and she has to know that Hub’s decision was going to be a little overwhelming for me. I feel like we would have a weird dynamic because of what has transpired.

Mr. PD and I agree…if this is the worst planning gaffe we have, we’re lucky. We knew we’d work it out.

What would you have done…gone with the Wife + random associate path or tried to begin again? Would you have been upset about the situation?