Weddingbee Blog

I’m interrupting my own wedding-related updates to speak out about the new E! Show, Bridalplasty, which I may or may not have auditioned for. Be kind—it was an accident. Read on…

Back in March, as a newly engaged gal with something other than a heart-shaped mood ring on my left ring finger, I went to an open casting call here in Chicago for a reality-TV wedding show.

Now, before you click away in judgment, hear me out: The grand prize was a Hollywood-style wedding at no cost to the winner at the venue of their choice. Now enter the Jams, who happened to be in the midst of house hunting with an already-decided-upon wedding budget of $10,000.

Free divalicious wedding? Let’s just say I had Mr. Jam’s full support. Plus we’re so-obsessed-we-should-be-committed when it comes to reality TV, so I also wanted an inside peek at the goings-on of reality casting so I could blab about it everywhere. Like here!

The casting was pretty standard, I guess, because naturally I’m a pro after going to just one. I felt decidedly unlike the cast of Jersey Shore because I didn’t swear or dance or boast about my killer partying; I gossiped with the casting director about The Bachelor/Bachelorette and got some juicy inside scoopage, and I wore much more clothing than a Rock of Love contestant, with unquestionably fewer tattoos and piercings.

So what was this reality show, you ask? It was for E! and called House of Brides, which drew me in via the following listing:

source

I entered not because I dislike the way I look, but because who doesn’t want a makeover at some time in their lives? Even the “I am beautiful, no matter what they say,” Christina-esque crooners have to step up and tell the truth here. I thought maybe they could give my hair some VIP treatment and pair me with a celebrity trainer; and I’m interested in face stuff (for lack of the correct terminology) because I fight with my skin more often than not. And makeup artists whose hands have beautified celebrities’ faces? Please work your magic over this way on the day I marry my dearest.

Some of the questions they covered toed the line of taste, asking just how far I would go to look beautiful, and if I HAD to have plastic surgery, what I would choose. (In case you’re wondering, I said I’m not interested in plastic surgery, but for the sake of the question I picked lipo because I have a genuine lack of knowledge when it comes to plastic surgery, despite years spent watching Nip/Tuck.) But some of their questions were really sweet, asking about the good things Mr. Jam and I have done in our lives to deserve such a large prize, and about the family and friends who are going to be involved in our wedding day.

After the casting, they said I would hear back from them within the next few months if they wanted me on the show. I didn’t hear back, and I was OK with it. (The Bachelor/Bachelorette gossip made my whole experience worth it and forever changed how I will watch reality TV.)

But imagine my surprise months later when I read about the new E! reality TV wedding series…

BRIDALPLASTY: A group of brides-to-be who compete in challenges, where the winner of each challenge will win—you guessed it—a plastic surgery procedure. The ultimate winner will reveal her new self to her family, friends, let’s not forget her loving fiancé, up at the altar on the day of her wedding. She will literally be unveiled.

This is rich…richly offensive.

Oh Heidi, honey, NO. (source)

I want to know what happens when that veil is lifted and out pops Heidi Montag’s Fembot twin, which causes the groom to gasp and fall backward onto the unity candle, which starts the church altar ablaze?

But seriously, had I even an inkling of what this show would be, I would have never in a billion years gone to the casting. I could go on forever about how wrong this show is (society’s extreme emphasis on looks, using plastic surgery as a challenge prize, brides fighting with each other in true ‘zilla fashion, the fact that previews are aired during What’s Eating You, etc.), so I’ll spare you my commentary.

But I’m takin’ it to the streets (a.k.a. the hive) to ask you to NOT support this show. Don’t watch it, don’t DVR it and think about watching it, don’t even let anybody in your house watch it. It’s that simple.

I’m sorry for the Heidi pics, really I am. But you know what? After all of this plastic surgery “fame,” even she regrets the monster she created. (source)

If you’re hankering to watch something wedding related on TV, stick to My Fair Wedding with David Tutera because his sassy ‘tude and adorable outfits are at least inoffensive. Although we could then get into the whole Your wedding must look this certain way because I said so and what you have now is fugly debate, but I won’t because I like him and his cute exasperation.

So is House of Brides actually Bridalplasty? I’m not exactly sure; I just connected the dots…the E! Network, questions about plastic surgery, the correct time frame, a similar premise and prize, etc. I might be wrong, but Iconic Casting and E! failed to return my calls and e-mails about the topic. (It’s the journalist in me, I’m sorry.)

And one final note to Giuliana Rancic, who is the executive producer of Bridalplasty:

I used to like you because my friend once assisted you at Restoration Hardware and she said you are a total peach…so why am I hearing the rumor that you are dipping your hand in the crapper that is Bridalplasty? We get it—you love reality TV because your husband won The Apprentice and you lovebirds have your own reality show. OK. And maybe you’re a wee-bit jealous of your E! News co-star Ryan Seacrest, who slaps his name onto just about everything. But seriously, Bridalplasty? Could you not have chosen something a little more worthwhile? Is it too late to jump ship?

What did you guys think when you first heard about this show? Did it totally remind you of The Swan, and did you watch that? Anybody else go to this casting, or any reality casting for that matter? Mr. Jam thinks this will be a hit…do you agree? Ugh.

And in case you needed one more reason to stay far away, one of the contestants is vying to get her second toe shortened. Need I go on?!