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In our quest to Keep it Simple, Stupid, we’ve forgone a lot of stressful wedding chores. But there’s one task, one that I’m sure is going to be a giant pain in the ass, that we’ve decided to tackle:
The dreaded seating plan.
Just the thought of tackling this makes me want to barf. And we’re having a small wedding with only about 80 people! I have no idea how someone with 200+ guests would handle this. Yikes.
It would be so easy to skip this and let our guests sit wherever they want. But I have attended a handful of weddings with no seating plan, and I felt very, very awkward at each one.
At one wedding, the guests ran from the cocktail hour to save tables for themselves and their friends or immediate family. It was a chaotic, free-for-all stampede. At another wedding, where Mr. S and I didn’t know many people, we ended up at a table with all of the bride’s elderly great -aunts and -uncles. We had literally nothing to talk about the whole time we ate. At one wedding that I attended solo, I got up to go to the bathroom and returned to my table to discover that someone had stolen my seat!
I felt very uncomfortable at each wedding, and I wouldn’t want to put our guests through that. I’m sure that some guests liked the open seating, and I’m not judging those couples who didn’t assign tables. Like I said, it sounds like a giant pain, and I don’t blame them for skipping it!
But for us, a seating plan it is. Now, I know that it’s impossible to please everyone, but we’re lucky that we both have families that are fairly drama free. I think the seating-assignment task will be time-consuming and tedious, but hopefully not painful.
Keep in mind that we’re doing assigned tables only. Our guests can choose their own seats. We’re definitely not up for that endeavor!
Are you going to do a seating plan, or will you allow your guests to sit wherever they like?
We’re doing a seating plan too. I’ve been to a few weddings without one and I agree… I felt super awkward and unsure what to do. I’d rather get stuck at a crappy table than having to pick my own!
We had a seating plan, and as horrible as it sounds, I categorized everyone. I had a drinking table, a couples table, a religious table, and a table for my mom’s friends (really small wedding, 40 people). As guests got dramatic I wound up having to switch some things but it was really easy to categorize everyone and group them up!
oh i agree about the non-seating-plan awkwardness. we went to one wedding where they skipped it because they actually thought it would be easier for everyone! how is that for backwards logic? afterwards the bride told me it’s the one things she regrets because they realized it actually wasn’t easier for everyone and felt bad.
for my wedding we did a seating plan for 160 people and it actually wasn’t that bad! my mom, his mom, and i knocked it out in about an hour. we printed a list of every guest, cut them out into strips, and arranged them on the table in groups of 10. then we assigned each group to a table number based on the floorplan from our venue. family sat closer to the dancefloor so they could see better for the dances, cake cutting, etc. friends sat closer to the bar lol. So don’t worry, i’m sure it won’t be the giant pain you think it will be 
thats the difference between cultures.
im a south indian, and assigned seating is thought to not only be insensitive but its rude! how dare you make me sit some where?!? not to mention that the sexes automatically segregate themselves. i went to a wedding that was fairly large, about 1000 people and it was ASSIGNED seating, people were freaking out because it was intermixed, mostly a few families at each table. people were really angry that they didnt get to sit with the person they wanted to their friend and had to instead sit next to their kids and husband. ugh..
i am all for assigned seating. plan on doing it at my wedding
@sarah s: that is so interesting! hearing about the customs in other cultures is always really neat. i love how you describe a 1000 person wedding as “fairly large” lol. that’s MASSIVE!
I’ve actually only been to one wedding with assigned seating, and I have to say, I LOVED it! It was soo nice to know where to sit and avoid all of the awkwardness of every other wedding I’d been to where no one knew where to sit. We are definitely doing seating arrangements at our wedding, no matter how much of a pain in the ass it is! @Kemi82JP: Ditto! @sarah s: 1000 people, wow!
We assigned tables at our wedding as well, for 220 guests. I did the seating plan almost entirely alone, and knocked it out in well under 2 hours. It’s not as bad as you think it might be, as long as most of your guests aren’t drama fanatics:) We had a few people to separate, but it really went quickly and easily.
Seating plans are great if they’re done ok, but when they’re not…The worst was when I was a bridesmaid years ago. I had to sit at a “head table” with the wedding party, and my now-fiance ended up stuck at a table with the groom’s fathers’ friends from dental school. >:( If I’d known, I wouldn’t have brought him. I ended up telling him he could go home early. But then again, despite the fact that I was invited “and guest,” I realized (too late) that the bride seemed annoyed that I was actually bringing said guest.
One of the good things about having a cocktail/food station home wedding: no seating plan to make! There will be high and low cocktail tables (with chairs) so people don’t have to stand the whole night, but the ideas is for everyone to move and mingle as they like. Hopefully they’ll find this to be pleasant, not annoying!
The seating plan for my 115 guests was really easy - a table for my college friends, 2 tables for my husbands friends from his hometown, tables for work friends, etc. I was wasn’t picky about having the same number of guests at every table, just that everyone sat with someone else they knew. I wonder if that’s what made it easy?
I have never been to a wedding without assigned table seating (and I have been to a LOT) so I can’t even imagine the chaos. It sounds so stressful, like you are back in high school or some reality show making alliances and pacts and trying to sit with the fun kids and not the lame ones!
I actually just undertook this task! Although it was somewhat frustrating bc there is some drama among guests, I used the knots seating chart tool and it made it ridiculously easy, maybe even a little fun for a planner type like me! Just a helpful hint! Good luck!!
Let your FI handle it. I gave the seating chart to hubs with a couple of instructions (e.g., these people hate each other) and 15 minutes later…the seating chart we ended up using!
Yup, we’ll definitely be doing one - because wow, I hear you on the awkwardness of finding your own seat, ESPECIALLY if you don’t know many folks there.
we used the seating chart arranger thing on wedding wire…the electronic version of scraps of paper with names. once we entered everyone it was really easy…plus i was able to email our guest lists by table name (or number) abc order AND meal choice to our doc and caterer.
He and my mom think it’s not needed, but I plan on doing tables at the very least so the last couple to arrive can still sit together.
I’ve never attending a wedding WITHOUT a seating plan. We’re assigning tables, and our guests will choose their own seats. All the weddings I’ve been to have been done that way. (And I’ve probably been to close to 2 weddings over the past 10 years!)
Thank you so much for this post!! I was considering doing a free seating reception. See, I’ve never been to a wedding that did not have assigned seating, so I had never even contemplated all the awkwardness you described! No matter how painful it is, I will definitely be doing a seating chart now. Also, I agree with @Kemi82JP… 1000 guest ‘fairly large’??? That’s freakin’ ridiculous proportions!!! I’m freaking out over my 115 guests!!
My cousin didn’t have assigned seating at his wedding and we literally rushed to the reception from the ceremony so we could insure that all of us cousins got to sit together and it is more complicated if the # of people in your group doesn’t match the number of chairs at a table. Assigned seating is a must even if it takes a little more work!
We’re doing the exact same thing you are, a seating plan but not assigned seating….it just seemed like the most logical thing to do for us.
We’re doing a seating plan - I think it makes guests happier . . . and we’re trying to keep grandma ros away from the in laws ;-).
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Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
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