Weddingbee Blog

All photos courtesy of the amazing Angelica Glass, unless otherwise noted. Please note that the photos have only been color-corrected and not fully retouched.

Here I am, back again, all out of excuses… except this time I’m motivated to completely finish my recaps! I’m embarrassed to say that I had the outline for all my recaps completed last September and have only started to review and fill in the blanks. So forgive an old married bee with good intentions of sharing her wedding for being so late with the recaps.

Onwards!

We last left off after the ceremony processional.

Mr. Canary and I were standing at the altar. Originally, we had planned to write the ceremony ourselves, well, with Mr. Canary being a journalist and all, but the stresses of wedding planning set in, and boy, were we glad to enlist the help of a true professional. Our officiant, Alma Daniel, was a lifesaver. She crafted such a customized ceremony that we had so many guests come up to us after the wedding telling us how much they learned about us or how they felt the ceremony was touching because it was so personal.

Alma’s soothing voice dived into Words of Welcome and I could feel the whole room relax and settle in. Alma warmly welcomed all our guests acknowledging the distances they traveled. She proceeded with the Declaration of Intent which signified Mr. Canary and I were entering into the marriage of our own free will. And then, my dear Aunt C, started us off with our first reading from the I Ching:

Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings. Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again. Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words, There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence. But when two people are at one in their inmost hearts, They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze. And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.

Confucianism. I Ching, Great Commentary 1.8.6

We had chosen this reading to reflect my Chinese culture and because it contained simple words with a powerful and sentimental message.

After the reading, we proceeded with our Wedding Vows and Personal Vows, which Alma guided us in writing. Neither of us knew what the other had written so it was pretty funny hearing them and the many parallels we had. One good one included:

Mr. Canary: I promise to indulge all your quirks and support your every flight of fancy since you so sweetly indulge all of mind, including my beloved Red Sox.

Miss Canary: I promise not wince (as often) when you mention the Red Sox or the Patriots and will try my best not to nag you during games and ask you, “Which one is our team, again?”

Next was a reading by Mr. Canary’s beloved Aunt E. We selected a passage from “On Marriage,” from The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran. Since Mr. Canary and I are not religious, we omitted the references to God.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

The ceremony continued with a Vow for Guests which was a way for us to ask our friends and family to support us in the marriage as well. I thought it was very special and really a big part of the ceremony, because I believe the main purpose of a wedding is to exchange your vows to each other before a community. We then exchanged our rings.

Our final reading was from SIL Canary. We selected a much-loved excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

After our last reading, we had our Personal Closing Remarks. This was an extra special part of our ceremony. It made the ceremony a little longer, but you know what? It was worth it… well, for us at least! Alma had given Mr. Canary and me some homework. She had a questionnaire which we each responded to without sharing our answers. It was at this moment when we got to hear each other’s responses and it was truly wonderful how well we captured our relationship in our words to each other. Although it was more initial work and more time on our guests, it added so much more impact and meaning to our ceremony and gave a great foundation from which to start our marriage.

The ceremony concluded with the Benediction, Pronouncement, and most importantly, the kiss! With that, we were married and we were off to party and mingle with our guests at cocktail hour.

We really couldn’t have asked for a better officiant than Alma Daniel or more tailored ceremony. I still tear up watching the ceremony on video!

If you missed out on the previous episodes of the Canary Wedding Adventure, catch up here:

• Our first look and a mini photo session
• A traditional Chinese tea ceremony
• Our video trailer that captures a quick synopsis of our day
• And because Mrs. Canary is a delinquent blogger, Mr. Canary writes about our amazing Italian honeymoon (Part One, Two, and Three)
• Our ceremony processional

More to come in the Canary Wedding Adventure! Next up, oysters and champagne… oh my!