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Mrs. Pancakes, New York/Costa Rica Age and Occupation: 26, Law School Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Latin American Policy Analyst Engagement Date: March 12, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Casa Punto de Vista About Me: I’m a perfectionist with a big heart. I love a good laugh and firmly believe no one has ever regretted being prepared! My motto is “go big or go home.” I am incapable of doing anything in moderation, especially when it comes to shopping, TV, food and travel, and some would say wedding planning! The other half of this nearlywed team is a laid-back, adventure-loving, accident prone, sweetie from LA. He makes me laugh, is always down for an impromptu dance party, and totally indulges most of my hare-brained schemes. Now, in my final year of law school, we’ll be spending the spring abroad in Amsterdam and planning a DIY, whimsical, detail-filled destination wedding in Costa Rica!
About Mrs. Pancakes

Oh the Joy…of Registering

December 16th, 2010 @ 5:09 pm by Mrs. Pancakes

I am not sure when you are “supposed” to register, but people keep asking us where we are registered. Through a process of faulty logic, I have decided that meant I should register ASAP!

If only it were that simple.

Unfortunately, we are planning on moving four or more times in the next year, so the prospect of starting a large collection of “things” isn’t that appealing, even though I LOVE household items. I could spend hours at Crate & Barrel or Ikea. Additionally, Mr. Pancakes and I have lived together for over three years, so we don’t need that many things. So, despite my love for gourmet goodies, I decided to start looking for nontraditional registry ideas.

The first website I found was Traveler’s Joy, and I thought it was a great place to start. If only I knew I had opened Pandora’s box. Shortly after that I found:

The list goes on an on…

According to CNN, the main difference between one of these registries and a hotel-chain registry is that the couple can register for more items and usually has more control over the way the money is spent. Sounds good to me!

Oh the Joy...of Registering :  wedding costa rica registry Wedding03

{Source}


After looking over each website, I decided to register at Traveler’s Joy and Deposit a Gift. Then, just to appease the traditionalist in the crowd, I started a small registry at My Registry, but that’s another story for another day!

Oh the Joy...of Registering :  wedding costa rica registry Th

{Traveler’s Joy}

Traveler’s Joy allows me to just set up a website with a counter and a destination. Guests are then invited to contribute to the trip. Simple, straightforward. On the other hand, Deposit a Gift allows me to create a sort of fake itemized registry. For example, we registered for things such as couples’ massages, private dinners on the beach, and surf lessons, but we don’t actually have to put the money toward those things. It’s mostly a way of giving the guests more information about what the money could go toward. At first I thought this was a little distasteful because it felt dishonest; however, I decided I could live with myself as long as we clearly explain the situation to the guests. Also, we do have every intention of spending the money on our honeymoon and will try to do our best to spend the money in the way the guests intended, so it’s not as if we’re being intentionally dishonest, right?

I know there is A LOT of debate on the ‘bee about the etiquette of honeymoon registries. To be honest, this was really a personal decision, and it’s what worked best for us—not just because we LOVE to travel, but also because we don’t need that much and aren’t in a position to accept that much.

If you’ve used one of these services, how did it work out? Which one did you choose and why??

Tags: costa-rica, registry |
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11 Responses to “Oh the Joy…of Registering”

1.
Miss OBG
Member
Miss OBG (message)  1,272 posts, Bumble bee

I used Honeyfund, because they don’t take a percentage of the gifts. So far we’ve gotten positive feedback on the idea (though no contributions because the wedding is still months away). It’s nice because guests aren’t just giving you money, but giving you a nice dinner, or an expedition, etc. And if you come up with things in all price ranges (i.e. $20 lunch –> $180 hotel room) then there’s something for everyone.

Also, I can’t imagine someone being mad if you spend it differently, as long as you follow the spirit of the gifts. E.g. bailing on the sailing expedition due to weather, and instead getting a couples massage. We also planned on including pictures in our thank you cards, so the guest can see us enjoying their gift.

Last thing - is that your actual site pictured? You might want to blur out your last names, if so.

 
2.
Charcole2011
Member
Charcole2011 (message)  298 posts, Helper bee

we haven’t set ours up yet, but are planning to use honeyfund for the same reason Miss OBG mentioned - that there is no fee and they don’t take a percentage of the gift. I’d feel worse about part of a guest’s gift going to a “service charge” than for using it for something honeymoon-related, even if it doesn’t allocate exactly as the site details. we had friends who did honeyfund and loved it, so we figured if it’s tried and true, might as well go that route!

 
3.
Guest Icon
Guest
Danielle

We used Registry JoJo and loved it

http://www.registryjojo.com

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
nadia

For those of you that looked into Traveler’s Joy vs. Honeyfund, can you tell me the pros vs. cons?
Thanks a ton!

 
5.
hrev2010
Member
hrev2010 (message)  416 posts, Helper bee

We seriously considered doing the honeymoon registry because we LOVE to travel. But we didn’t like that our guests would be charged a certain percent by the company so we went the traditional route (this worked since we hadn’t lived together and had old college days kitchen utensils). But I say ask for what you really want and if that’s travel then go for it!

 
6.
Guest Icon
Guest
Kat

We used travelersjoy and it was awesome. We got dinged the small percentage when we cashed in but we liked it better since your guests never get charged a service charge or know that a small amount is being taken out as a service charge. And the % was smaller with TJ than HF. If we didnt use Travelers joy then we wouldn’t have been able to go on our honeymoon right away. We would have had to of waited and I am so glad we went right after. We did a small traditional registry but didnt need much there either. I think if people are going to give you something and they care about giving you what you want then one of these registires is for sure better than just asking for money. Plus if you can afford to book your honeymoon a while before you go then you can wait until after the wedding to cash out on the registry. Also, they have you put one name down for checks which makes it easier since you can’t change your name right away and the people who write Mr & Mrs on the checks… well, you cant cash them until you change your name and have a joint account or unless they write “or” so your hubby can cash it. I loved it. Totally stoked I used them!

 
7.
Guest Icon
Guest
Emily

Traveler’s Joy worked best for us. Yes we paid the small fee but we could receive our gifts immediately. Don’t be fooled by Honeyfund…if you want to receive your gifts as soon as possible, the gift giver will have to use PayPal and you’ll be charged a fee. Otherwise, you have to wait for a check to be sent to you, given at the wedding, or later.

One note about Traveler’s Joy, you can totally customize your registry like DepositAGift. Check out the link below for some really cool registries from couples that honeymooned all over the world!

http://www.travelersjoy.com/realmembers/registries/

 
8.
Guest Icon
Guest
Amber

We are big fans of Deposit a Gift. I don’t know that I’d say that it’s a ‘fake’ gift list any more so than any other honeymoon registry that is not affiliated with a hotel or resort. But what’s cool about it is that it is totally customizable and lets you register for anything, so you aren’t just limited to the honeymoon. For us that was perfect. We’re paying for our honeymoon hotel and the plane tickets are a gift from my parents, so what we listed for the honeymoon was all the fun stuff (which guests have loved!) like the excursions and the massages and the romantic dinners. We also listed some big ticket furniture items that we never could have registered for elsewhere because we could split them up into contributions at smaller price points. Lastly, we listed 2 charities that people could contribute to. We like having everything in one place. And for the traditionalists, we did 1 small dept store registry of upgrades, which we could list as a link at the bottom of the Deposit a Gift registry. Great customer service and really easy to use. I highly recommend it!

 
9.
ChillyBear
Member
ChillyBear (message)  175 posts, Blushing bee

A quick note about traveler’s joy: Put on your to do list to cash out the week or 2 weeks before the honeymoon. so you have enough time to A) get the check by mail, B) Deposit/Cash at your bank.

We registered for all of our Excursions and Dinners and paid for hotel/air/car up front with our savings. Most of my coworkers contributed to our TJ for my work shower and some tech savy friends.

2 coworkers went above and beyond and gave their own gift (pineapple picking in maui) instead of contributing to the group gift. We had pineapples shipped back and gave them each one as a thank you.

 
10.
plantains
Member
plantains (message)  2,433 posts, Buzzing bee

This has nothing to do with your post, I’m just excited that someone with Nigerian blood is Bee!!!

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
JJ

I’ve been using Deposit a Gift and have been loving it! Completely did my homework as well and thought its look and feel best fit me and my fiance.

A couple of things that I thought Deposit a Gift did a better job on was that it offers both checks and free direct bank deposit transfers so you don’t have to worry about depositing checks and can get your money pretty quickly - and as often as you’d like. I also liked that it gave us the option of who paid the fee - either us or the gift giver.

Yes there is a service fee, but there really is a service fee for all the sites, including honeyfund (who for a similar service does charge a fee) and the department stores who charge crazy amounts for shipping/handling - only for you to return the item without recouping the shipping/handling.

 

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Mrs. Pancakes
Mrs. Pancakes

Mrs. Pancakes, New York/Costa Rica Age and Occupation: 26, Law School Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Latin American Policy Analyst Engagement Date: March 12, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Casa Punto de Vista About Me: I’m a perfectionist with a big heart. I love a good laugh and firmly believe no one has ever regretted being prepared! My motto is “go big or go home.” I am incapable of doing anything in moderation, especially when it comes to shopping, TV, food and travel, and some would say wedding planning! The other half of this nearlywed team is a laid-back, adventure-loving, accident prone, sweetie from LA. He makes me laugh, is always down for an impromptu dance party, and totally indulges most of my hare-brained schemes. Now, in my final year of law school, we’ll be spending the spring abroad in Amsterdam and planning a DIY, whimsical, detail-filled destination wedding in Costa Rica!

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