To Speak or Not to Speak?

To Speak or Not to Speak?

December 16th, 2010 @ 6:21 pm by Mrs. Earrings
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That is the question. My sister began work on her MOH speech recently, and asked me if I was going to make a speech at the reception as well. If you had asked me that question 6 months ago the answer would have been, “of course!” But now? I’m not so sure.

With everything else going on, part of me just wants to sit back and relax on the wedding day and not worry about anything, not even giving a speech. I don’t know how common it is for the bride to give a speech at weddings overseas, but here in New Zealand it isn’t terribly common so if I didn’t give one it wouldn’t matter too much. But then there is another side of me that would love to speak up and thank the people that have helped us put the wedding together, as well as acknowledge my awesome groom. Why do weddings always have to involve a kazillion decisions?!

My dad is definitely going to give a speech, and we expect Mr E’s dad will as well. Then there is my MOH, and the best man/groomsmen’s speeches. Mr E is planning to say something as well, so it might just be overkill if I speak.

Alternatively, Mr E and I could do a joint couple’s speech. At this point I think I’m going to wait until the last minute and see how I feel…and then wing it if I really feel the need to talk. Gosh, wedding planning really must have got to me if I am thinking about winging something—very out of character for me! We’ll see how that goes.

I’m curious to know what other brides are doing/have done though, because it might help me make my final decision, so here is a handy dandy poll for us:

Tags: new-zealand, reception |

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12 Responses to “To Speak or Not to Speak?”

Bee

Miss Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

Joint speech for me out of necessity. Mr. k will have to take over for me a lot because I tend to sob a lot at things like this.

12/16/10 @ 6:42 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Barrettes (message) 883 posts, Busy bee

I didn’t prepare for a specch, but the moment lent itself and caught me by surprise. Have a little something in your back pocket, just in case

12/16/10 @ 6:48 pm (reply)

Member

mdarrah (message) 1,205 posts, Bumble bee

Until other Bee’s started posting about their speeches, I had never heard of the bride or groom making speeches at the wedding, or the rehearsal for that matter. If you feel the need to - go for it, but plan it ahead of time so that you don’t end up forgetting someone major. If you are only doing it because you think everyone’s expecting it - relax and let the others do the talkin! You’ll say your thanks in plenty of thank you notes post wedding.

12/16/10 @ 6:49 pm (reply)

Guest

Allyn

We took over the mike after our MOH and BM spoke just to thank our guests, make sure they knew to take the bottles of wine on the tables home (their favors), and to tell everyone that Virginia Tech and Univ of Tennessee had won their football games!

(Yes, I followed football on my iPhone during my wedding)

12/16/10 @ 7:06 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

I did a toast/speech to Mr. G cuz I read about another bee doing it and thought it was super cute!

12/16/10 @ 7:33 pm (reply)

Member

gill84 (message) 725 posts, Busy bee

we gave a speech together. it was super impromptu but i was glad we had put it into the program, we wanted to say thanks, and our guests wanted to hear from us! I do wish, in retrospect, that we had jotted down names or a list or somehting - we left out so many people we wanted to thank! In the end I was glad we did it though. make it more informal if it’s too stressful to plan. good luck!

12/16/10 @ 7:50 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Elephant (message) 6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

I picked undecided. I think Mr. E will do a quick thank you to all of our guests at the beginning of the reception and we’ll just do our joint speech at the rehearsal dinner the night before.

12/16/10 @ 8:09 pm (reply)

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

Between our fathers and both our siblings giving speeches, we decided to opt out. We did give a thank you speech at our rehearsal dinner/out of town guest welcome dinner.

12/16/10 @ 9:28 pm (reply)

Guest

DiLi

We had a very small wedding - only 20 guests -and my husband and I toasted every guest individually at the dinner. It was important to me to do this as I’d always regretted being too shy toast my brother when he got married. Whenever I thought of it, I felt sad because you don’t often get the chance to publicly acknowledge how wonderful and important some one is in your life, and I hadn’t stepped up.

So when my husband and I got married, we thought of one or two things to say about each person to tell them why they were special to us. Indeed, because we had to keep our wedding so small, one of our criteria for wedding guests was they had to be someone to whom we felt we could offer a heartfelt toast. Sure we were super nervous and talked way too fast, but it felt really good to do it. Everyone seemed to like the series of toasts — there were lots of laughter and tears and I’m really glad we did it.

Of course it probably won’t work to toast every guest if your wedding is larger, but perhaps you can at least thank and acknowledge some key people.

There are so many people who help get us where we are that when the chance comes to shout their awesomeness from the rooftops, I say seize it.

12/16/10 @ 10:39 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Miss OBG (message) 1,272 posts, Bumble bee

My FI is a little shy about public speaking, so he’s going to speak at the rehearsal dinner and I’ll talk at the reception. Nothing long or fancy, just thank yous and whatnot.

12/16/10 @ 11:54 pm (reply)

11.

Member

AnamCara (message) 1,135 posts, Bumble bee

I spoke at our wedding - it was important for me to thank everyone and also to tell them a little bit about why we were there and who DH is to me. We live so far from home that most of my friends and family don’t know him at all or have only met him once or twice. I didn’t speak for long but was able to convey gratitude to the people who made our wedding possible and give the people I love a better understanding of why I fell in love with DH and married him! I didn’t prepare anything - I just winged it…that’s my style ;0)

12/17/10 @ 7:41 am (reply)

12.

Member

GreenMTBride (message) 56 posts, Worker bee

I’ve typically seen the bride and groom speak at the rehearsal dinner. I’ve also seen the bride and groom write a very touching thank you note to their guests in the ceremony program. You could even do this as a display on your escort card table or on the back of the menu cards? Could be a good idea for people that are a bit shy when it comes to public speaking with a large group.

12/17/10 @ 10:09 am (reply)