Weddingbee Blog

I’ve talked a little about what we’re thinking about Cinnamon Buns’s wedding ensemble, but I wanted to rewind a bit and talk about how we got there.

Soon after getting engaged, I started thinking about dresses, and Cinnamon Buns started thinking about suits. I asked him to start collecting pictures online, like I was, so I could see what he was thinking about. He started by sending me photos like this:

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Thanks, honey.

Then he did get a bit more serious and started e-mailing me much more normal photos.

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Better, and much more likely to be accepted by the relatives, but I was worried that he was trying to conform to something that wasn’t him! I know, I know, he suggests a crazy outfit, I say “too weird.” He suggests more formal ones, I say “too normal.” Make up your mind, Miss Cinnamon Bun!

I was worried that the last few examples were too formal—see, we’re not terribly formal people. We don’t wear suits to work; we wear jeans. Ripped, paint-covered jeans sometimes. I don’t think Cinnamon Buns owns a tie—doesn’t that make a cravat and morning coat way out of character? And, when we were having these discussions, I was still planning on a tea-length dress, which to me felt more casual than cravats. I was in full wedding-blog-stalking mode and kept imagining cute and funky pictures like this:

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OK, maybe minus the hats.

So I tried to steer Cinnamon Buns in that direction. I was lucky in that he either really liked that idea or just decided to humor the crazy lady. He got quite into the idea that he didn’t have to wear a tux and/or a cravat and started looking at Converse in shoe stores, talking about a vest and no jacket—maybe even no tie! Hmm, I like ties. Then I found my dress, which was much more formal than either of us had expected. Cinnamon Buns had held off on making any decisions about his outfit until I had my dress because he wanted to match my level of formality or at least tie into each other. For maybe a day or two I worried that Converse would be too casual, then I worried that he was only considering it because I had mentioned it.

In short, I worried a lot. I worried when I gave advice, I worried when I didn’t give advice. I worried when he took my advice—was he bending to my will? I didn’t want that! I just wanted to make suggestions; I didn’t want to force anything! I know I said Converse, but don’t do it if you don’t want to; I just suggested, I’m not making you…I think basically the source of my stress came down to not knowing if he liked things because he liked them, or because I liked them. In the end, I have realised that he is a big boy, and if he doesn’t like something I suggest, he’ll tell me. Right, honey? Besides, it is his day as much as it is mine, so he should be comfortable. I also gave up on the whole idea that we have to match. We are a good match, and that shows no matter what we’re wearing.

Am I the only one that worries that my suggestions or crazy ideas that just come out of my mouth will be taken as law? Was your partner’s outfit an easy choice?