Weddingbee Blog

When I first came to Weddingbee, I mentioned that I have four cats—and it’s true! I live with Mr. Oyster and four completely crazy adorable cats.

I have only had one pet in my life, and that’s my little cat Patience. We think she’s about 14 years old. She arrived on my doorstep right around the time I graduated high school, and that’s how I ended up getting my very first pet at age 17.  Isn’t she gorgeous?

My husband, on the other hand, has had cats and animals his whole life. I call him the animal whisperer, because no matter what the animal is, he can get it to calm down and communicate with it. It’s a little creepy. He has three cats, and they all have different personalities and temperaments.

Snoot, named for a type of flash modifier, is 12 years old, wiry and weird, and is very clingy. He’s extremely attached to my husband and cries for him when he comes home late. Unfortunately, he showed this attachment by “marking” nearly everything of mine that smelled like my cat as soon as I moved into the house. I’ll be honest and say that, while I try to be a loving and forgiving cat-step mom, I’m still kind of miffed about this. This is the one you have seen in some of our wedding planning photos, since he’s always around.

He helped us make the first DIY Flower.

Krazy, 13, is a big, round, lovable creature. He is also not too bright and doesn’t see very well. He basically hangs around and sleeps. He’s very social and comes out at parties. Here he is, having jumped on my father-in-law’s lap at our engagement party:

Lucy, 5, was a stray kitten that my husband adopted a few years before we met. She is still kind of feral, and doesn’t like people at all (except my cat-whispering husband). She’s afraid of *everything*! Seriously. If you cough, she’ll run and hide. Some of our more frequent house guests, like our friends and in-laws and the pet sitter, have never even seen her.

So why am I talking about my cats? One of the most difficult adjustments to living with my husband has been dealing with all of these creatures. It didn’t help that one cat was visibly distressed and letting us know in a pretty nasty way. I have one pet, and she is very well trained (doesn’t jump on the table, doesn’t scratch furniture, etc.).

My husband’s cats have had, shall we say, a bit more freedom (can anyone else see this as a metaphor for our future childrearing styles?). He calls it “the bachelor’s cat syndrome.” Luckily, he’s been pretty receptive of my efforts to allow the cats their freedom without letting them eat off the kitchen table (or sleep in fresh laundry!).

Another big challenge was integrating my cat into the household. (Yes, we followed all the veterinary directions for integrating a new cat.) My cat is a tough little girl, and she wasn’t necessarily afraid of the others. But they didn’t accept her very readily. In the beginning, she would walk up to them timidly, like a kindergartner who’s new at school, and she seemed to have a look that said, “Will you play with me?” The other cats would hiss at her, or run away, and she would lay down sadly (or hiss back!). This was repeated for a while until she basically retreated into one corner of the house and stayed there for eight months. Here she is on the day we moved in.

Now, after more than a year, my cat is pretty comfortable and is a fully integrated member of the household. Our big-round cat, Krazy, has really taken to her and they are sometimes found resting together. Also, my cat has recently gotten very sick (we had to shave off all her beautiful hair!) and has a dramatically smaller and more vulnerable appearance. I’m not sure how much the cats could sense her illness, but they definitely began to respond differently to her as as her health got worse. In fact, I think their response to her has helped make her more comfortable and more “herself”—she has even regained some of her energy and engages with them a lot more. She even fights for her favorite patch of sun, which we think is a great sign.

If you’re looking for some realistic advice on integrating a new cat, we really enjoyed the book Cat Wrangling Made Easy. While simply adding a cat would be a challenge for anyone, it was clear that the biggest hurdle for my husband and me was our opposing “parenting” styles, which we’ll surely think about more as time goes on. Maybe this is a little bit of practice. We’ve come to some compromises: I let him give the cats some tissue paper to play in, as long as he cleans it all up. And he doesn’t mind me re-training the cats to be civil.

In the end, it mostly works out, and everybody has ended up friends.

Oh wait, there’s more: Just as I was about to post this, we discovered a new (and very cute) habit that my cat has adopted. Since we had to have her shaved, she’s been very cold and finds creative ways to keep warm (like resting in the sun, above). She’s started hiding under the covers in bed! I couldn’t resist showing you these adorable shots my husband took:

Okay, I promise: I’m done with the cute cat pictures. I’d love to hear your animal-combining adventures in the comments!