Weddingbee Blog

Once upon a time, I worked at a bookstore and I abso-freaking-lutely loved it. I’m lousy at selling anything and I hate snarky customers, but working at a bookstore meant getting to read advance copies of books that we wouldn’t normally look twice at. And some of these books ended up, you know, CHANGING MY LIFE. Not like it’s a big deal or anything; it’s just my WHOLE LIFE.

Coincidentally, this also happened to be the gym-membership time in my life, which actually turned out to be a pretty big waste of time and money because all I really did was lay out at the pool and get tan. Obviously, this required good reading material. See where I’m going with this?

As much as I despise books that give advice about my relationship and how to work out my relationship, or tell me my relationship is doomed BUT can possibly be fixed, I decided to read an advance copy of a book about darn relationships. But even though I read this relationship-centric book whilst lying beside a pool filled with people doing water aerobics, it was not a waste of time at all.

I’m pretty confident in saying that Mr. Jam and I are a pretty typical couple, from how we live to the way we argue. And even though this is extremely stereotypical, I’m guilty of thinking he knows absolutely NOTHING on more than one occasion, and I’m 100 percent sure he thinks of me as crazy from time to time—when in reality we are just as crazy and stupid as each other…and the next couple that comes along. So you know what? I get that the title is a gender stereotype, and a big one at that. But it’s also kind of our life. Try and get past it.

The book is written by a real-life, warm-blooded, cohabitating couple who just so happen to be comedic sitcom writers. Good start. Each chapter puts you smack-dab in the front row of a heated “He said, she said” debate, but with decidedly more laughs…partly because they’re comedy writers, and partly because this is NOT a fight you’re a part of.

Notice I didn’t say it is a fight you’re NEVER a part of because that would be an utter lie to couples who are as average as Mr. Jam and me. Because you know what? Not all couples agree on everything and live happily ever after sans arguments. Couples fight about really, really stupid things.

For instance: I may not care that Mr. Jam doesn’t bring me flowers, but I do get irritated when, say, he doesn’t save me leftovers (a la this week when I discovered he ate all of the leftover pizza, which I purposefully don’t gorge on the first night because obviously it’s better the next day). So the chapters having to do with not bringing flowers can easily be changed up into something that I relate to…like the leftover pizza. And boy does that make me mad.

Reading this book (AKA following the “He said, she said” stuff while simultaneously changing scenarios to mirror your real life) can actually make you feel better about your relationship.

Let’s get real: If you’re looking for true-blue relationship advice or some serious, soul-searching answers, this book is probably not for you. But if you’re in a relationship with someone whom you occasionally argue with over things that, in hindsight, are completely idiotic and you don’t know why you even wasted your time arguing, this book has an amazing message: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. People who love each other argue. Stupid things in life happen that make you (regardless of your gender) feel a little crazy.

Because you know what gets really old? Couples who agree on everything. “We are SO IN LOVE, we never argue.”  We were all cut from different cloths, people. I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying what you’re selling.

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I’ve been holding on to this blog post for quite a while now because I was a little scared what people would think when they saw the title of the book. “But this is such a gender stereotype, it sets the women’s movement back 50 years!” people may cry. But you know what? I consider myself a feminist. I’m a volunteer women’s advocate. Does liking this book make me a hypocrite? Would you ever read something with such a title? Have you read this book?!