Weddingbee Blog

Dear Future Me,

I can’t believe it—I’m engaged! This is going to be fan-frickin’-tastic. I’m going to invite everyone I know. There are going to be flowers absolutely EVERYWHERE. We’re going to serve filet mignon with lobster tails, have a live band, I’m going to wear Vera Wang, let’s not forget the letterpress invitations, oh, oh, oh…

Dear Past Me,

Whoa, whoa. Sweetie, you’ve got to slow. down. Let me introduce you to someone. Past Me, meet Madame Budget. She can be one mean bitch, but you’ll need her with you throughout this process to keep you grounded in reality. The dangers of the Internet already have you wanting your wedding to look like this:

(source)

But from this particular wedding, you could probably afford about this:

After the rental fee, you could get that small table to the left (food optional) and that piece of tulle hanging from the ceiling that will also double as your wedding toga.

Take a deep breath, and have a gander at where your money could go for the traditional wedding you have in mind:

• Ceremony. The cost of a wedding license varies by state, and officiants need to make a living, too.
• Reception. There’s the obvious food and drinks, but don’t forget the fee for using the venue, any rentals, and the dreaded sales and service taxes.
• Photography/Videography. These are permanent records of your big day. Shooting professional photo and video are skills acquired through years of experience. Your eyes might bug out at the price tag, but remember, you’re not just paying for the photo/video. You’re paying for their time and expertise in order to give you the best possible product.
• Attire. There’s the obvious of your dress and veil plus any alterations, but don’t forget your accessories. That includes jewelry, underwear, and shoes, missy! Mr. Tartlet also needs something to wear, whether you rent a tux or invest in a suit.
• Music. I pose this question unto you: live band, DJ, or iPod? Think carefully, because this one’s gonna be a doozy to decide.
• Flowers. Two words: In. Season.
• Stationery. You’ll want to send save the dates since so many family members live out of state. You’re going to go nuts on these and the invitations because of your love of paper and design, but keep in mind that you have to pay POSTAGE on whatever you create.
• Wedding bands. Don’t forget about these. ’Nuff said.
• Transportation. If your ceremony and reception are in different locations, how will your guests travel between them? Will their hotels be within walking distance? It would be awfully inconvenient for your guests to have to rent a car or take a cab to the wedding.
• Hair/Makeup. Do you want these professionally done? FYI, your answer will be “yes.”
• Gifts. For each other, your parents, the wedding party, vendors, and guests. (If you haven’t heard of out-of-town bags yet…you will.)
• Honeymoon. You and Mr. Tartlet both love to travel and don’t get long vacations very often. You don’t want this to be an afterthought to the wedding, so start considering your plans now.

Establish how much you and Mr. Tartlet can afford. Decide whether you want to ask for or accept help from your families. Come up with a solid number, and then give yourself some cushion for silly mistakes and unforeseen expenses. Prioritize which of the above elements are most important to you because compromises will have to be made.

Remember: at the end of the day—regardless of what flowers you choose, what food is served, and how many people are on the dance floor—you and Mr. Tartlet will be married. That is most important and will help you keep everything in perspective over the next two years.

Affectionately,

Your Future Self

PS: Did any of you find yourself getting carried away with your wedding plans at the beginning? How did you pinch yourself back to reality?