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The other night while watching television (MTV’s Jersey Shore, no less), Mr. French Toast plops down next to me on the couch and sighs heavily.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I ask him.
“I’m conflicted,” he answers.
“Huh?” (Clearly I am not paying attention. I mean, c’mon. Snooki was trying to adopt a lobster as her pet!)
“You know my wedding band is white gold, which I wear on my left hand, but this ring my mom gave me is 24 karat gold, which I wear on my right hand. So it doesn’t match.”
That’s when my attention snapped back to Mr. French Toast. It’s seldom that he talks wedding, let alone gets concerned about matchy-match rings. When did he become conscious of this all of a sudden?
The gold ring that he is wearing was a gift from his mom when he was a teenager. It has an engraving of a dragon on the outside, symbolizing strength and protection. Though it’s been mistaken many times for a wedding band, it is a gift from his mom; he has a close relationship with her, so it never bothered me or Mr. French Toast until now.
This incident piqued my interest in how other men wear their wedding bands, so I did some research. Turns out that it was during the second World War that men started wearing wedding bands, and it became more common because US soldiers wore them as a way to publicize their marital status.
Surprisingly, in this day and age, as common as men’s wedding bands are, many factors contribute to why men prefer not to wear them, including…
Here’s a great article that talks about why men choose to go ringless: “The Meaning of a Naked Finger”
In my case, the only thing Mr. French Toast is worried about is how to carry off white gold and yellow gold.
Has your FI hesitated about wearing a wedding ring? And while you’re at it, any suggestions for Mr. French Toast on how he should wear his?
I think mixing metals is acceptable in today’s world… my FH has a silver watch but it getting a yellow gold wedding band, and he dons both of those on his left hand.
If you haven’t purchased bands yet and your FH is set on white gold, maybe he could look into two-tone options, to pull together his white gold now and his yellow gold past!
My FI never hesitated about wearing a ring, but I get why yours would. I agree with JillBill — why not do a two-tone ring? They have some very beautiful options out there.
If it really really disturbs him, he could consider having the gold ring rhodium plated to match. I would recommend he just accept the non-matching status instead, but it’s still an option.
I think it’s no biggie that they don’t match. And how great is it that both rings have so much meaning to them!
I have mixed metals for my rings. My right hand is my yellow gold aggie rung and my left is white good e ring and soon wedding band. At first I wasn’t so sure about it, but I love them now!
mix the metals since they are different hands is totally OK! my man is having a hard time adjusting to his. Wearing it when he’s home so he’s ready when the wedding gets here. We did get him a toungsten band since he works with his hands all day long so that it doesn’t break or scratch.
I think mixing metals is totally acceptable! And if he wears them on either hand, it’s even easier, I think. I, on the other hand, would have no qualms about mixing metals on the same hand.
Two-tone is also an option - my wedding band will be two tone!
Waffle is totally freaking out about the fact that he’s going to have to wear jewelry for the first time ever. We’re going to go with tungsten so he can feel more manly. Silly old Waffle.
My FI is hesitant about wearing a ring. I think mainly because he’s never worn jewelry before and his Dad never did.
My FI wasn’t sure at first about the idea of a ring. Then he started looking and found one he loved & an opposite of it for me. Needless to say the rings were ordered that day!
I think wearing them on seperate hands is perfectly fine. I know another man who actually does this, he has a ring from his 18th birthday on one hand and his wedding ring on the other, they are different metals and he’S been married over 20 years. I also wear my grandmother’s gold ring on my right hand while my wedding set is platinum and sometimes I add a sterling silver ring to the mix.
I think the notion of only wearing one color gold (white or yellow) is totally outdated. Mixing metals is totally fine!
My engagement ring is yellow gold, because my FI wanted a plain yellow band. I probably would have chosen white or platinum, but I wanted our bands to match at least a little bit.
So now I wear my yellow gold engagement ring on my left hand while I wear my grandmother’s white gold engagement ring on my right hand.
I mix metals all the time 
Good luck!
I agree with everybody that mixing is fine.
I think that it’s great that he’ll have a ring from each of the most important women in his life and it’s kind of fitting that they are different
My FI is a police officer, and doesn’t want criminals to know that he’s married. He’s going to get a band, so he can wear it when we go out, but otherwise will go ring-less. It doesn’t bother me..I trust him more than anything!
His opinion on my wedding band - well that’s another story! He has more opinions about my band than I do!
Mr. G is excited to wear his wedding band, but he did admit that when he tried it on “it felt weird.”
FH never had a second thought about wearing a ring. He wants to be able to brag about being married and he’s already used to wearing a ring. His huge college ring is on his right hand.
That is yellow gold and his wedding band will be 14k white gold. Come to think about it, I don’t know if he realized it’s different colors.
A lot have suggested mixing metals on the wedding ring itself, but if you’ve already purchased it or he’s set on having a single-metal wedding ring, what about a watched with mixed metals if he wears a watch? Otherwise I agree that it’s no biggie. My e-ring is platinum and I have a purple and gold MK watch I wear on my left hand all the time.
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Mrs. French Toast, Pleasanton, CA Age and Occupation: 29, Marketing & PR Fiance's Age and Occupation: IT geek by day, self-proclaimed handyman by night Engagement Date: October 2009 Wedding Date: March 2011 Venue: Palm Event Center About Me: I’m a city girl at heart who moved to the suburbs a year ago. Now I’m adjusting to life with a front lawn, nosy neighbors, cooking attempts, and making sure the garbage pail is pulled out on time every week! When I’m not traveling, Mr. FT and I enjoy marathon sessions of Law & Order: SVU, snowboarding, photography, spoiling our 3-year old yorkie-poodle Mokka and disagreeing over what music to listen to in the car. We’re planning a small winery wedding while incorporating some cultural elements into the day as a nod to our Chinese backgrounds.
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