Weddingbee Blog

Sex.

There, I said it. It’s out there in the open for all to see. You see, hive, this is a “touchy” subject (pun intended!) and I’ve spent quite a long time trying to figure out how to word this correctly to say what I want to say and to come across all hip and cool. Mrs. Cheese talked openly and candidly about “Twister” and, let me tell you, I read all her posts and appreciated her honesty.

That leads me to where I am today, and, boy oh boy, am I going to be honest with you all. I mean, if you can’t be honest in an open internet forum for all the public to see , where can you be honest?

When I applied for Weddingbee, and even before that in the “What if I’m a Bee” moment, I always knew I wanted to shared this post (possibly more than one post?) with the hive.

You see—drum roll please—Mr. Giraffe and I have not had sex.

…(That pause was for cricket noises, FYI.)

Phew. Now that that bombshell is out of the way, let’s move on!

The fact that we haven’t played Twister, slept together, done the horizontal polka, etc., is not a secret. The face is, I’m pretty open about it. All my friends know, my parents know, and I joke about it pretty often. I mean, sure, it’s not the nicest thing to do to tease your fiance about not getting any in the last 5.5 years, but so what :D? That’s just the way it is. When you tell your BFFs that you don’t plan on doing much besides each other on the honeymoon, it’s pretty hilarious.

When I met Mr. G, with the love at first sight and all, I was honest with him. I told him that I wasn’t going to sleep with him…this was three days after I met him. It makes me laugh to image the poor kid; we’d just moved away to a big campus, it was still a few days until college classes began, and Mr. G found probably the only ISU girl who didn’t drink or have sex? Yeah, right?! What are the odds!

Anyway, I think Mr. G and I are unique in this aspect. See, I’m waiting; as in waiting until marriage. I’ve always been that way and I kind of made the decision a long time ago. In high school, I said I was waiting, but looking back, I don’t know if I was conscientiously waiting until marriage, but I knew I definitely wasn’t ready and it was an easy way to not force the decision or worry about it. When I met Mr. G, I didn’t really think about waiting until marriage and, as ridiculous as it seems, I set a time frame of 2 years in my mind and said that we’d do it after that. Well, as two years came and went, and I still didn’t feel ready, and I knew it was because I wanted to wait until we were married. Pretty simple, right?

Well, this is where we reach the unique part. See, I always assumed couples that decided to wait for marriage made the decision together, but that’s not the case with us. In more or less words, Mr. G is waiting for me. Mr. Giraffe has not held onto his V Card—he actually slept with his senior year girlfriend in high school.

(source)

Yeah, it was only one girl, but I’ll still be #2 on his list. This bothered me a little bit four years ago, but not anymore. He didn’t know me then and he says if he knew what he knows now, he wouldn’t have done it with her. He may have asked me nicely , but he’s been nothing but supportive of my decision.

Really quickly though, I have to go all after school special and clear something up for you guys. Being a virgin (I hate that word) doesn’t mean you’re a lame-o, that you’re not attractive, or anything like that. I mean, look at me, who could resist me? I could totally get some if I wanted to. If we’ve learned anything from Steve Carell in that one movie, it’s that choosing to be a virgin or choosing to have sex is a personal choice. People shouldn’t judge you one way or the other. In the same way that I totally cheer my friends on when they go home with a guy—I expect them to cheer for me when Mr. G and I snuggle up together and that’s all that we do.

I do think that waiting, at least for a little while, is good for any couple. It’s very easy to mistake lust for love or physical and emotional feelings and waiting until you know is all right with me.

Part of my confidence in the relationship I have with Mr. G is based on the fact that I feel like we’re emotionally strong enough to withstand anything. And, I’m not at all worried about our physical relationship. Practice makes perfect, right? Just kidding! But really, I know that I’m physically attracted to that stud muffin of a Giraffe, and we’ve talked about a sex/sexual (or lack there of) relationship plenty enough that I know we’ll be all right.

So why am I sharing something so personal with you all? Well, for a number of reasons. Firstly, I mean, this is kind of a big part of our wedding. I mean, our wedding night will be the night and we’re both very excited (okay, and maybe I’m a little nervous too. Haha). Secondly, I don’t really know anyone else in my situation. Being a virgin at 23 isn’t the ’coolest’ thing in the world so I don’t really know anyone else in the same position (position?! Pun intended, again!) to talk to about this, and I figure there’s got to be other girls like me. And, thirdly, of course, I’ve got to keep it real for the hive!

I don’t even know what to ask you here hive, so I’m just gonna ask that you guys be little extra sensitive with your comments, as this is a super personal subject.