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Awkward turtle: the animal mascot of the awkward moment. How to do the awkward turtle:
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As much as I love turtle power, some situations require a bit more to cut the tension. When you have to answer questions like: “Why didn’t you pick me to be a bridesmaid?” or “Am I going to make the cut for your guest list?” or “You should make me a bridesmaid so I can go to your wedding!” (Believe it or not, I was asked all three questions by the same person. Awk-ward!)
I’ve also had to delicately handle people who assume they’ll receive an invitation. It’s been tough because the majority of them are genuinely excited to come to the wedding and celebrate. Regardless of whether they understand our choice to have a smaller wedding, I’ve still been met with disappointment served with a side of guilt. These feelings make me hem and haw and wish that I had something like this to cause a distraction while I run away:
See those barrels in the background? Shh…I’m hiding in there. Unfortunately, it’s a general fact of life that you can’t please everyone. And, it seems like the harder you try, the worse it gets and no one is happy (including you). Repeat after me: your true friends will be understanding and supportive.
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Have you been asked questions that left you floundering for an answer? You’re not alone! Share any tactful “go to” lines that work for multiple situations!
I did not just get caught by a co-worker doing the awkward tutle at my desk. Except that I did.
Somehow I’ve managed to avoid the awkward questions- though I do have a party line when extended family or friends get to nosey on the details “It’s a wedding, the officiant is Baptist, there’ll be food, we’re dancing.”‘
Though for fun awkward situations awkward palm tree flying away in a hurricane is always fun (especially when visiting Houston)
@ Miss Lox - did not just spit out my soda reading your response
And thanks so much Miss Tartlett for the post. I have my potentially very uncomfortable bachelorette party to attend this weekend (with a bridesmaid who really doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid but is too polite to back out) and between the awkward turtle and the quote from Dr. Seuss, I’m feeling a bit more armed to allow things to roll off my back.
I’ve been engaged less than one week, and I’ve already gotten two “I’ll be waiting for my invitation!” and one “So am I going to be a bridesmaid in this wedding?” (as if I’ve had other weddings…)
Thankfully, the first two were done over facebook, and I’ve completely ignored them haha. We just don’t know about the guest list at this EARLY stage.
The bridesmaid request was done over the phone, and I just said I didn’t know if we were heading to the courthouse just the two of us, or having a big blowout wedding. That will buy me some time. 
Ohhh, been there. Not quite as awkward as those questions, but yeah… that Dr. Seuss quote is something I need to post on my mirror I think!
So I actually was sitting here doing the awkward turtle and got a kick out of it when I could see it and proceeded to LOL making my cubicle mate look at me suspiciously. (*Still chuckling as I type*) My friends always tell me that I am not known for my tact so I am that person that tells you what I am really thinking instead of thinking of a way to say it nicely which is probably why I haven’t gotten those questions from anyone.
Sorry you are having such a rough time with.
Oh yes indeed. I had one friend explain to me (calmly, at least) her disappointment that I wasn’t going to have bridesmaids since she’d really been excited to be in my wedding. (I hadn’t ever planned on having bridesmaids, so it’s not like I invited and then un-invited her.) Super awkward.
I’ve tried to preempt the awkward assumptions about being invited by emphasizing what a small teensy tiny backyard wedding it’s going to be. But still…awkward.
He he, I made some shifty eyes to be sure that nobody was watching and tried the turtle too!
I actually had one of my teenage cousins ask if she could be a bridesmaid. I told her that I already had too many people for my bridal party but that I would find her something to do to make her feel included. I felt really bad saying no but she’s just not old enough for that kind of responsibility. I know I could make her a junior bridesmaid but the wedding party is already out of control. I hated hurting her feelings but I knew I had to put my foot down.
ohhh yeah, the people who ASSUME they are invited without even asking? blow my mind. so awkward…I just keep trying to change the subject, but we are sending STDs in a couple of weeks so I am sure I’ll get some interesting responses from people who realize then they aren’t invited…
I haven’t encountered too much wedding awkwardness yet (though with my family’s tendency to overshare and be opinionated and FI’s family’s reserved nature, I’m sure there will be!), but my go-to awkward motion is actually the awkward starfish: stretch your hand out, spread your fingers, and then smack yourself on the side of your face and let the hand stick there. Voila, awkward starfish.
And now I’m just picturing you ladies trying THAT one at your desks…lol! 
Bahaha, aw! I have such a soft spot for the awkward turtle! Stay strong!
My favorite is the awkward giraffe; you raise your arm straight up and move your hand around like a head.
Unfortunately, the most tactful line I can come up with is the “nod, smile, walk away.” Sigh.
I also suggest the extra-awkward turtle. Same concept, but have your palms facing up… the poor turtle flipped onto his shell and can’t get up. How awkward is that?!
As for wedding planning, my fiance has lovingly accepted the role of being the sole reason we can’t make any guest list decisions. Whenever people ask us, I just roll my eyes and lament that until he gets his act together we just can’t get ANYTHING done. People buy it almost too easily.
Oh the awkward turtle! Love it!
So far my major awkward “crickets chirping” moment has been my father assuming he was walking me down the aisle when I had asked my mother to do it. Eeek!
@iRun2004: Hang in there, lady. I hope your bachelorette party is a blast!
@BRbee: FB has been my mortal enemy during this process! I’ve had to be very circumspect with my wedding-related posts.
@LittleMissBrassBand: I LOL’d at your response and proceeded to do it. Mr. Tartlet looked at me as if I’d gone completely mad!
I heard that a girl I hadn’t spoken to since college was planning to ask me to be in her wedding party…and we had already cut her from our guest list! So, in order to avoid the awkwardness, I’ve avoided her ever since. I typically don’t shy away from confrontation, but guest list confrontations scare the shiz out of me!
Haha–I have luckily only had one truly awkward moment. My ex-boyfriend’s new wife marched up to me at her *own* wedding and told me (didn’t ask, mind you) that I needed to send her a Save-the-Date earlier than everyone else’s because her schedule fills up so quickly. Uh, hello Mrs. Presumptuous? Did I mention that I barely know this woman?
Minorly awkward moments have been with friends not invited to the family-only wedding. We were going to have one friend each attend, but then my BFF found out she was pregnant and due to deliver the week before the wedding, so she dropped out, and we kiboshed any bridal party at all. At least family only makes the distinction clear between those invited and not invited.
I haven’t had problems with the bridesmaid thing because we are having a family-only wedding/slightly larger reception and no wedding party. We have, however, had an alarming number of people who assumed they were invited to the wedding. These haven’t been good friends or family…they’ve been acquaintances IF that. I am always shocked, never know the right thing to say, and end up feeling guilty even though I don’t even know/like the people! Someone I hadn’t met (a friend of one of his aunt’s apparently?) literally asked me what the date was and said they were planning their summer around it! We’ve sent STD’s but that hasn’t solved the problem…most people still don’t realize they didn’t make the cut. I’ve also avoided putting any info on facebook because I can’t stand anymore questions. Woah tangent! Definitely the hardest part of planning so far.
I had a co-worker tell me I should make her a bridesmaid because she is a great bridesmaid. My response was “I’m sorry but my bridesmaids are family only.” she then had the nerve to say “Are you sure? I’m pretty fantastic!” Yes I’m sure!
Some years ago, I actually asked that question to a friend (I said something like “If you want me there I’ll be so happy to come”)… And immediately regretted it!! I could tell she wasn’t sure how to answer and realized I’d made a major faux pas - but I was just so happy for her when she said the news that I just blurted it out! Well, you live and you learn…
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Mrs. Tartlet, Rochester, MI Age and Occupation: Age & Occupation: 27, Post-Doctoral Research Fellow Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Medical Student Engagement Date: May 2, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: The Royal Park Hotel About Me: I'm an exuberant gal from the Midwest with a penchant for Neuroscience and anything sparkly. I'm not afraid to poke fun at myself, and I'm a believer that given the right pair of shoes, a girl can conquer the world. While an interest in the sciences threw Mr. Tartlet and me together (again, and again, until it finally stuck), we share a love for many things---food, video games, car dancing, food, bad puns, travel, did I mention food?---that ultimately led us to where we are now, less than five months from becoming Mr. and Mrs. We're planning a laid-back, romantic, garden-inspired affair with organic and quirky touches that reflect our love for the unexpected!
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